


The Sam Winchester Playlist

by TheMightyWarriorPen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angel Family, Angels and Demons, Angst with a Happy Ending, Archangels Being Archangels, Azazel (Supernatural)'s Special Children, Bad Decisions, Dean Winchester is Protective of Sam Winchester, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Family Drama, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Family Secrets, Female Sam Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Frenemies, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, Gabriel Is Protective of the Winchesters, Gabriel is a Softie, God Is Schemer, God and Sam Are Buddies, Good Parent John Winchester, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jealousy, Lucifer Redemption, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Pagan Gods, Polyamory Negotiations, Relationship Issues, Sam Winchester Has Patience, Sam Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Sacrifice, Shipping, Slow Burn, Time Travel Fix-It, Time Traveler Sam Winchester, Trust Issues, Witch Curses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-04-25 15:42:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 86,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMightyWarriorPen/pseuds/TheMightyWarriorPen
Summary: Dean and Cas are dead, the angels and demons were dwindling in numbers as they failed to stop the Leviathans from eating everything in its path.Chaos, Death, and Destruction.Chuck offered a choice to Sam, to fix everything and unify what could have been one of the greatest forces under his ruling but at a price of something Sam is sure to hate when he wakes up.Previously known as The Choices We Make





	1. Rolling in the Deep

**Author's Note:**

> I Don't Own the Supernatural characters except for my made up plot. The chapter itself isn't beta but I wish I had one.
> 
> Each chapter title is from a song.
> 
> A brief summary from waking up but the actual beginning is in S2E01: In My Time of Dying.

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _Throw your soul through every open door_  
>  _Count your blessings to find what you look for_  
>  _Turned my sorrow into treasured gold_  
>  _You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow_
> 
>  _ **-[Rolling in the Deep by Adele](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw)**_
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

_Dum... Dum... Da... Dum..._

__

_Dum... Dum... Da... Dum..._

__

_Dum... Dum... Da... Dum..._

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saving People. Hunting Things... The Family Business

 

 

Three things that stuck in Sam's mind ever since Dean came to him that irony became the beginning of the end for both of them and how they both played into Azazel's plan, how they caused such massive rift between reality and fantasy, how the fragile trust hardened with every experience and how it easily broke with hidden truths and intricated spider webbed lies that nearly killed the both of them.

 

They promised that it would stop but they kidded themselves, they couldn't stop because they have different perspectives on the truth with one vehemently denying it and the other hiding it for protection.

 

 

It was antagonizing for both of them.

 

But now laid before him, lies the dead body of his brother and the angel who sacrificed even his own place in Heaven for two absolutely reckless brothers who failed to stop the enemy, he managed to get them out but that didn't stop how Dean and Cas were infected with the disease and slowly dying then came to the short breaths before they took their last breath. He had to stop the Impala at some sort of clearing to deny the fate which came to both his brother and best friend but the truth was staring at him in the face, bloody and torn.

 

He wanted to cry, he wanted to shout at anyone for this.

 

Everyone around him had the tendency to die either from direct contact or connection...

 

His Mom, Jesse, his Dad, Madison, Ava, Andy, Jake, Anna, Hannah, Gabriel, Crowley, Cas, Dean and so many more. For a long time, he thought he just had a long run of bad luck but no, his mind had stuck with the fact that he was just cursed.

 

 

"Sam..." He numbly looked up seeing the sorrowed look of Chuck Shurley who was also God. "Tell me... am I really that bad _that_ everyone around me tends to die? So bad that I don't deserve just the simplest things in life, such family? Tell me, Chuck..." It hurts so bad, the cold sensation and the hot thrusting knife of anger and pent-up frustrations of his life that decided to mix in a nice bowl of fucked up shenanigans.

 

Chuck knew that Sam sacrificed a lot and tend to take less and give more. "No Sam... Fate and Destiny just have other plans for you." Clenching his fists hard that drew blood. "Plans? What fucking plans, Chuck?! Everyone around me is dead! The world is in chaos and it started the day I fucked things up by killing Lilith, by going away!  _I_ started this fucking mess! It's always me that fucks things up, never Dean or someone else, just me, the great fucked up mess that is called Sam fucking Winchester." It was painful seeing the soft-natured giant to loathe himself, to see himself as nothing more than scum.

 

To see himself as something so abominable that not even demons would dare step on his grave.

 

"If you had the choice, Sam... Would you fix all of it?" Chuck asked while Sam took a breather from his outbreak. "In a heartbeat, I would even kill my baby-self just so none of this would happen." He said numbly sinking to the ground where dirt and blood mixed from his wounds. "You would do that? You would kill yourself and cause grievance to your brother who's looking forward to having a sibling to watch over, to the Mother who nearly died on the table giving birth to her second and to the Father who risked going to Hell and back for his children, every choice we make has a corresponding action, Sam." He replied gravelly while Sam just covered his face with his bloodied and bruised hands.

 

"I don't know, Chuck, please tell me what I can do without evidently fucking things up?" Chuck put a hand on Sam's head then at the bodies at the backseat of the car.

 

 

"We can start by giving Dean and Castiel a proper hunter's funeral..."

 

 

 

 

It was painful.

 

 

Years ago he would've argued with any hunter that he would most likely choose to bury his brother than cremate him but now with the things that had happened, he just can't risk his brother and friend from rising up, it's time to give them the peace that they deserve and as Chuck handed him the lighter, he said goodbye to them and hoped that whatever Chuck was planning he didn't have to see anyone he loves dying all over again.

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
> 
> 
>  

"Are you ready, Sam?" He asked the hunter, who just nodded. "I'm going to warn you, things will be different and remember that every choice you make will affect the future."  _No pressure._ "If you have questions, you better ask it now." He added while Sam frowned a bit. "Will I remember everything that transpired?" He asked while Chuck sighed. "If you wish then I will make sure you do but Sam, remember that it's alright to live a little." Knowing if Sam pushes anyone away it would serve as a consequence so it's good to warn the guy that isolating himself or running away won't do him good.

 

 

"Can I ask a favor?" Knowing what the guy has been through, Chuck cut him some slack and nodded. "Can you transport every weapon, book, and artifact related to everything that happened here to a safe house that's warded from both angels and demons?" It was a big risk but knowing it's going to be for the greater good, he nodded. "To the Men of Letters bunker or another place?" Sam thought that the bunker would be a good choice but knowing how dangerous it could also be, the place itself is a liability.

 

 

"It's risky with the wards slightly off and the neighborhood..." He replied and Chuck sighed knowing full well what Abaddon did as well as the numerous body counts.

 

 

"There's a safe house that I have down in Tennessee, it's behind Cummins Falls... The water itself has been blessed thus no demons in their right minds would take a dip and it has protection wards on several stones and on the ground, finding it would be difficult with running water and avoiding suspicion from the public." Sam appreciated it and took a deep breath...

 

 

"Keep an open mind when you wake up and good luck, Sam."

 

 

Then everything was out like a light.

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

 

 

 


	2. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #1
> 
> I got back in time, safe and intact but one thing is off...
> 
> What didn't Chuck explain that this will be part of plan?!
> 
> \- S.W

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _"No thank you" is what I should've said, I should be in bed_  
>  _But temptations of trouble on my tongue, troubles yet to come_
> 
>  _One sip, bad for me_  
>  _One hit, bad for me_  
>  _One kiss, bad for me_  
>  _But I give in so easily_  
>  _And no thank you is how it should've gone_  
>  _I should stay strong_
> 
>  _But I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?_  
>  _Boy, oh boy I love it when I fall for that_  
>  _I'm weak, and what's wrong with that?_  
>  _Boy, oh boy I love ya when I fall for that_  
>  _I'm weak_
> 
> -  _ **[Weak by AJR](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LCOiwtCAZE)**_
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

 

When Sam opened his eyes to the world, it was bright and smelled of disinfectants but then again that's what he'd expect when he woke up, his first indication was the smell and when he opened or at least tried to open his eyes, it was very bright...

 

He was in a plastic crib of sorts but that wasn't what bothered him...

 

 

It was the fact that he seemed to be missing an organ that was supposed to be situated in the middle.

 

"Mr. Winchester, your daughter is perfectly healthy and surprisingly awake..."  _Daughter._ Double crap. Not that he... or should he say she, has a problem with the opposite sex but the fact that the opposite sex tends to die around him much more frequently than males. "Her eyes are very luminescent in the shade, perfectly healthy..." She stared at her Father, he looked younger and happier than the one she grew up with, he wasn't shadowed with regret or filled with revenge.

 

"She's beautiful..." He came near but stayed at a respectful distance so when the nurse came and picked her up and handed her into her Father's arms. It felt safe and comforting, she snuggled as any newborn baby could. "She seems to recognize her sire, what a smart girl." The nurse commented while inwardly Sam was had an exasperated sighed, the nurse had no idea that she wasn't just an ordinary gullible baby. 

 

"Hey Sammy-girl, welcome to the family." He cooed as any hardened ex-Marine could. "Is it alright to bring her to the viewing room? My son has been dying to see her." She whimpered at the word dying and both the nurse and John were worried if it stressed the newborn but it wasn't that, they didn't know that she was a thirty-five-year-old man who experienced hell and back then lost everything in a heartbeat.

 

They were in front of a large bay-like window covered by an automatically drawn blind, as the nurse draw it open, she stared at the kid who would be the one to raise her and ground her when things get rough...

 

"Sammy, say  _hi_ to your brother, Dean..." Dean was leaning on the glass and had this awed look as John brought them closer to let his son see his newborn sister...

 

 

She didn't care if she displayed intelligent actions at an early age because she missed her brother dearly, she put a hand on the glass and smiled as she could when she saw Dean, she didn't hear the amazed words the nurse and John exchanged seeing a baby barely into the world putting her hand on the glass and smiling. "I'm pretty sure your kids won't have a problem getting along, Mr. Winchester..." She said in awe but unfortunately, the moment had to end when Sam yawned and John had to say a temporary goodbye.

 

But Sam wasn't done with her miracles.

 

She gripped or at least tried to grip her Father's outstretched finger and systematically tapped...  _I love you..._

 

The shock on her Father's face or the glistening tears at the corner of his eyes made her heart ease, once upon a lifetime she disappointed him by leaving them to pursue a selfish goal that ended in tragedy but now, she'll do whatever it takes to glue her family by being the daughter and hunter she was meant to be, she'll train and she'll ensure that she won't go down without fighting the demons and angels coming her way.

 

"I'm pretty tempted to steal my daughter and bring her up to my wife." The raw emotion in John's voice made the nurse muse. "I'm telling you right now, Mr. Winchester, you're not the first nor are you the last Father that wants to drag their little girl back into a safe room with their wife and a shotgun waiting." John had to laugh at the truth and Sam had to inwardly groan with the fading thought that in this lifetime...

 

Dating may not be an option with a family full of hunters.

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

When John exited the nursery from where Sammy is kept and he got hugged by his excited son. "Sammy recognized me, Dad!" John was happy seeing how glad his son was seeing his little sister. "You listen to me, Dean..." John squatted to keep an eye-to-eye contact with his son. "Our little Sammy is a special one and since your the big brother, you gotta take care of her, alright?" 

 

"You can count me, I'll protect Sammy with my life!"

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

In the first lifetime, she didn't appreciate the beauty of having a house to live in or how home-y it felt but the difference between before and now is that she isn't some babbling defenseless baby but she's a smart babbling defense-ish baby with the knowledge of her past life, she'll try to ensure to avoid casualties...

 

Chuck won't be much help.

 

"Good night, Sammy." She heard Dean whisper and then kissed her forehead along with Mary while John rocked her gently, it was comforting and lovely that it made her inwardly since she'll lose everyone for the second time especially her Mom to Azazel then the whole demon blood thing, the mistrust... She can't handle this alone and she can't tell anyone...

 

Dad cannot die.

 

She knew he made a deal with Azazel for Dean's life then Dean to her when Jake took hers then the cycle of sacrifice started as did the mistrust, betrayal and inevitable deaths of loved ones that tore them apart, it was pure will that drove them to fix the wedge between so that they could overcome the problem only to have the problem come back and kill them.

 

It was a cycle that Sam hated with a burning passion.

 

There are factors and things that could've helped them but they were both blinded by prejudice, obsession and a drive that was very unhealthy for both of them but they didn't stop until it consumed them...

 

Awfully morbid thoughts for a baby but she wasn't just a baby...

 

She's gonna be smart this time, she'll keep an open mind and most importantly... Kill those who needed to be killed.

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

For once in her life, she felt happy, she felt like she belonged and most importantly, she forged this bond with her Dad that she didn't have in the first life. Seeing Dean innocent and unaware of the things that go bump in the night was a sight, her brother's smile could light up the entire room and he had this air of confidence that made her thought that he is truly Michael's vessel.

 

This was them before man was created, Michael and Lucifer.

 

 

It was a reoccurring thought that Sam had even before God sent her back, it was that on the sixth day that God created both humans and animals... The sixth day also meant that he ordered his Angels to bow to the humans, Lucifer rebelled and was banished... It was also on the sixth month that special children were created and the fire burned at least their homes or beloved ones.

 

Three sixes, the unholy number and the fire that burns and leaves ashes in its wake.

 

> * * *

 

She wasn't ready to let go of this but she knew it had to happen, Mary's death is needed for them to enter the Hunter lifestyle but the words that Dean told her once upon a time...  _You can't save everyone, Sammy_...

 

"Goodnight, love." 

 

Azazel leaned into her crib and stroked her cheek. "Hello there, Sammy... How fine you are, my Father will be pleased that you grew well since he has plans for you, lovely Hell Queen." He whispered and dripped the blood unto lips but for Sam, it was like tasting poison all-over again...

 

She cried.

 

 

Mary came, sliced and strung up on the ceiling then John came and saw Sammy crying, red drops in her crib then he looked up seeing his wife's dead body. He screamed and the roaring fires engulfed the entire nursery along with their Mother's corpse, Dean carrying her, her Father holding them tight as they watched the house burn while neighbors did nothing but stare and offer their condolences. It was heartwrenching scene but it has to be done.

 

Sam really hated playing the observer.

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
>  


	3. Chasing Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #2
> 
> I really hated the fact that my Mother died, that I let her die but what was I suppose to do? I'm a bloody newborn baby that once again has demon blood coursing through my veins... 
> 
> What can I do now?
> 
> \- S. W

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  _We used to have a light_  
>  _Now it's too dark to shine_  
>  _Now we're just passing by_  
>  _Two shipwrecks in the night_  
>    
>  _Remember when we met? Yeah, I know I was mean_  
>  _Stones shirt, black boots and black jeans_  
>  _And you were such a mess_  
>  _I thought it was sweet_  
>  _But that night still haunts my dreams_
> 
>  
> 
>  _-[Chasing Ghosts by Against The Current](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7dx1GgO7CI)_
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

It was honestly antagonizing her nerves when Dean and John decided that she was going to be scared of the things that go bump in the night, the two Winchester men would go off and hunt so that leaves her with Bobby, who shared her enthusiastic glee when those idiots would make the ridiculous excuses to hide their wounds but she didn't push them or force any answers like she did before, she bided her time.

 

"Hey Uncle Bobby, do they know that I'm not exactly stupid nor am I blind, deaf or mute about the things that are happening?" The thirteen-year-old asked the older hunter, who groaned. "I don't know what's going through those idjits mind when they go to this lifestyle and act like a know-it-all fucker." He replied while Sam sighed then put aside her homework. "Done already?" He asked while she nodded.

 

"It's just an easy essay, Uncle Bobby unlike the rest of my testosterone family members, I use my brains instead of my brawns." Bobby chuckled and handed her a beer in which she accepted. "You didn't hand me a beer, it's juice, Dean and Dad aren't hunting a werewolf pack in Connecticut, they're being men and I certainly don't know about the hunter lifestyle, I'm your average ordinary preteen going through puberty and middle school living with my Uncle." She said while Bobby patted her head.

 

 _'And I'm also 'not' a time traveler that came to fix everything.'_ She mentally added and continued on reading about the Scandinavian folktales that seemed to be highly active down in a town in the middle of nowhere. "How about we go out?" Bobby suggested while Sam looked genuinely curious. "Where to?" She asked then Bobby ushered her outside but made sure she took at least a swiss knife, a jacket and her pocket money.

 

"A friend of mine."

 

Turns out the friend was Ellen and Jo Harvelle in which Sam was delighted to see since... Well, it didn't end well on their part. "Wow, you're tall," Jo commented while Sam gave a sheepish smile. "My Dad is around six foot two while my older brother seems to reach six-foot tallness soon." She replied with a shy smile, Jo nodded and gave an outstretched hand.

 

"I'm Jo Harvelle, nice to meet you." Sam grinned and shook Jo's hand. "I'm Sam Winchester, nice to meet you too."

 

Ellen and Bobby were observing that the two girls were talking quite nicely. "You planned this, didn't you?" She asked the older hunter who was drinking his beer. "Not my fault those two idjits decided to ditch Sam if they knew that she has an eidetic memory." He muttered only for Ellen to hear and she had a surprised look on her face. "How did you find out?" And Bobby explained that he purposely left an exorcism book on the table because he had a hunch about Sam's rapid knowledge.

 

And he quizzed her.

 

She passed without a flaw.

 

"She knows but she's acting ignorant for the sake of her Father and Brother's sake?" She asked dryly while Bobby snorted but nodded. "They can't keep Sam out of the dark, she figured it out all on her own before she asked me, I know it wasn't my place to say but I'm not gonna let the girl die out of the sheer macho bravado her Dad and Brother are doing of keeping her ignorant... If they knew-" He stopped his rant while Ellen passed him another drink.

 

"If they knew what, Bobby?" She asked while the male hunter ran a hand over his face.

 

"That Sam knows everything that happened... The night in her nursery... The demon that paid her a visit and told her that he has plans for her."

 

Ellen swore and felt worried for the brunette girl with bright green eyes. "She seems like a good girl, Bobby... why her?" 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

She made a friend.

 

It worried her because people had the tendency to die when they're connected to her and as she tried to stop being morbid, she just can't especially when it's happening for the second time. "You alright, Sam?" Jo asked her as they sat in one of the empty booths. "To be honest, Jo... I don't know." She replied and ran a hand through her long tresses in which Jo commented were nice.

 

If you asked her, she never took time to look at the mirror and see how much she's a head turner.

 

"So what middle school are you attending?" Jo asked while Sam told her she got a scholarship at some school near Bobby's place in South Dakota. "I wish I could go where you're attending Jo, the girls at my school are these cliché mean girls, it's annoying and stupid," Sam said with clear disdain in her tone remembering those girls made her eye twitch while Jo was silent. "Uh... Sam, after sixth grade I quit and started helping my Mom out, not the idle thing to do..." She replied while Sam mentally kicked herself since she forgot Jo was the same as Dean. "Sorry about my insensitivity Jo... I just wanted to help out my family... If or when I finish my education and get my diploma in college, start my career, I could help out and make things easier for them." She blushed knowing that a lifetime ago, she did it for herself but now, it was different.

 

"School's expensive, keeping the roadhouse itself is hard with those loan sharks and shitty real estate trying to run this place down. I don't want to see my Mom struggling." It was a very noble act but Sam knew Jo was a tougher cookie to crack. "Have you tried applying for student scholarship? If you maintain a grade higher than above average to excellent, you get it free while they give you an allowance. Heck, I've been doing that so it could save money." John didn't like that Sam had the earlier independence going on but the reason was to save money and that the allowance could be her pocket money so, in case of emergency, she could use it.

 

Sam's relationship with her Dad is a bit better than it was before, she didn't question them much and helped around when needed to and comforted them when they look like they're gonna break, she trying her best to be the glue and it somewhat paid off but the one thing that stuck in her Dad's mind is that the hunter life isn't for her which was something bad.

 

"I'll think about it"

 

 

 

> * * *

 

 

She and Bobby had to, unfortunately, leave early since it's going to be a three-hour drive and every hunter knows that driving at night is very deadly with ghosts or creatures lurking and they didn't have much equipment to kill. "So... I overheard that Jo wants to study again, you got nothing to do with that, right?" Bobby's tone was light and almost thankful since even with him, Jo didn't crack.

 

"Absolutely not, I just told her that there's nothing wrong with a student scholarship that gives a three hundred or so dollars and added benefits depending on the scholarship applied or the school that dictates the requirements." She quipped and had an innocent smile and her seafoam eyes shining mischievously that Bobby chuckled. "Well, Ellen is very grateful, thanks, Sam."

 

She just smiled.

 

Hopefully, Jo will be too occupied to even think about hunting and have a better life, for both Ellen and herself.

 

When they got home, they saw the Impala parked in the driveway. "Crap!" Thankfully, she was prepared for it and nudged Bobby at the grocery in the backseat and he nodded. "Remind me that I owe you a couple of favors." He muttered and gave her head pat then parked next to the classic car. To say her Father was worried was an understatement, he was upset and worried which meant paranoia on high alert.

 

 

Dean met them halfway.

 

"Sammy! Bobby! Where have you guys been?" Dean asked and helped Sam with the grocery bags. "Welcome bag, Dean and Uncle Bobby and I just went out to get some more groceries but on the way back a friend of his called and they met up since it was kind of an emergency while I headed to get a few books." She replied calmly and loud enough for John to hear and ease up. 

 

"Sorry about worrying, Sammy, you know we get worried when you don't answer your phone." She slightly flinched and apologized for the lack of awareness since everyone that knew her that she tends to ignore the world around her if she had a book that interests her. "Sorry, Dad but you know me and books." He knew and ruffled her hair...

 

They had a nice home cooked meal courtesy of Sam and Bobby. "Are you guys alright, no injuries from bar fights or angry spouses or exes?" She asked and gave this look that just melted their hearts since it was adorable, innocent and puppyish. The puppy-dog look was their undoing, Bobby had to stop a snort from escaping on how Sam got the two males wrap under her fingers. "Nah Sammy, no worries just a trail of broken hearts," Dean replied while John assured her that they were perfectly fine.

 

"Be careful with your conquests, Dean... I really don't want to be a young Aunt." She replied and the mischief in her eyes was something that John had to laugh about since that's the look that Mary would give him when they would banter. "As if, Sammy... How's school, do I have to beat anyone up?" John and Dean both agreed that Sam will not date anyone, she was too precious and the last thing they need is that their little angel crying over a boy who doesn't deserve her affections.

 

"Passed the tests and did you know that they have an Occult club there? Apparently, they have a strict membership and they stick with facts and folklores depending on the area, they even have a list of colleges that offer Mythology and Occultism as a major." She said rather happily while the Winchester men grew slightly baffled, uncomfortable at the same time intrigued.

 

Bobby was trying his damn hardest not to laugh now.

 

"I thought you wanted to be a lawyer, Sammy?" John asked the girl a bit hastily while Dean gave his Dad perturbed look. "I wanted to but can you really handle me going to college, living in a dorm with some stranger?" She asked while John was a bit thin-lipped about that one, he didn't want Sam to leave but he didn't want her to enter into this life of a hunter because it will ruin whatever innocence she had left. "It's your future Sammy even if I hate that you'll go, you're our Ms. Smarty Pants," Dean added but Sam knew something was off when Dean twitched and thought he sent a subtle look at their Father.

 

 

Later that night...

 

Sam laid restlessly on the mattress and staring at the ceiling that inconspicuously had a Devil's Trap and protection runes, she can hear both her Father and Dean arguing on telling her about being a hunter...

 

 

 

_"Dad for the last time, we have to tell Sammy. What if one of these days that Yellow-Eyes son of a bitch comes back and she doesn't know how to defend herself?"_

 

_"I won't let that damn thing anywhere near her or you, Dean. Your sister is innocent, do you really want to plague her with the nightmares we both have every day after every hunt?"_

 

 

_"How you two idjits get your heads of those asses of yours and let Sam decide whether she wants to be a hunter or not, do you two have any idea that the more you hide it from her the more this thing is gonna be aggressively searching for her with the ways you two are trying to be a hero, it's not fucking working since the only damage you're doing is playing with Sam's trust... Do you have any idea what she's going through right now?"_

 

 

_"Besides puberty, what's the matter with Sammy, Bobby?"_

 

_"She told me that she keeps having nightmares about a yellow-eyed man standing over her and a woman strung up in the ceiling, bleeding and then fire."_

 

 

 

Sam had to applaud Bobby for his ingenious wording about it, she didn't have a nightmare though... It was a guilt-ridden memorythat she wished she could forget but that would be impossible, Chuck really did give her an eidetic gift which was both a blessing and a curse because she wanted to easily forget some of those memories especially the ones where Dean and Cas are dying in the backseat of the Impala.

 

She sighed deeply, it was troubling to have a gift that never lets you forget your mistakes or the list of names that died because they knew you or the number of times your brother died, the ways you've let him down...

 

Sam laid at her side and curled up, it was so hard not cry so they wouldn't hear... Every day, she was haunted by the voices of the people who've died because of her or because they know her... It hurts, it twisted and pulled her in the inside because she's going to play the villain on the outside just so she could protect them, she's going to break the fragile trust and it hurts.

 

Because it's not only Dean who she's going to betray.

 

"Sammy? Sammy! Wake up!" She already awake, she wasn't aware that she crying. "...D-dean?" She croaked and two burly arms wrapped around her, her head was on his chest. "It's just a dream, Sammy..." He mumbled and she turned around so she could bury her face unto his chest. "Dean... I-I'm sorry..." She whispered and he held her closer, his chin on her head. "Hey now, no matter what happens, I'm here... I'm here, Sammy... You know I can't stand women crying especially if it's my own sister." She inhaled his musky scent and heard his heartbeat.

 

"...Because at times when you comfort women, it ends up in sex?" She joked while Dean pulled away slightly and gave a glare but if it wasn't for the twitch of his lips then he'd had her fool. "And because I'm also a damn good cuddler." He said with conviction that it made her giggle a bit. "Dean... Thank you."

 

"You're my sister, Sam and I promised Dad that I'll protect you."

 

He kissed her forehead and she drifted off into a peaceful slumber in her brother's arms but not everyone was asleep, Dean laid tirelessly awake as Sam was wrapped like a koala around him but he didn't mind because the moment Dean hit puberty it was all about pretty things in sexy short skirts or shorts but that doesn't mean he spent majority of his time with those hoes. He wasn't that desperate, if he wanted sex then he'll get it but if he wanted time with Sam then it'll stay that way. It was just awkward now that Sam is finally a woman... He still couldn't believe it.

 

The little girl, he mostly raised, was a woman.

 

But damn, she's a tall one... Dean mused at the fact that Sam was just a thirteen-year-old preteen but she doesn't look like one if he was being honest... Sam is a 100% head turner with her natural light brown hair, her green eyes that somehow has some gold specs, natural long lashes, light skin tone and petite figure. 

 

She also had the brains which made her looked even more appealing, some guys may like girls for their bodies for a quick shag but women that use their brains and looks were harder to hunt for because they know how to play the game...

 

 

But despite Sam's beauty and brain, she didn't socialize much and if she thought he didn't notice how she actively avoids being attached or socializing with other, made him a bit sad since they had to constantly move from town to town for hunts leaving Sam alone in a dingy motel or at Bobby's place... But mostly with Bobby since his Dad and he agreed that leaving a girl alone in a motel room with a cheap lock spells disaster.

 

The last thing he needs in his life is another painful memory and he doesn't want Sam to get raped by a stranger or a creature.

 

 _'Did I fail to protect, Sammy?'_ He asked himself because going back to Bobby's words... Sam has been having a nightmare about the Yellow-Eyed demon and seeing Mom's death over and over again... What did they do? Nothing. They assumed it was a phase but they didn't realize it was affecting her badly, how long was she having that nightmare? Why did she have to hide it from them?

 

"Sam... how can I protect you when you don't even tell me what's going on?"

 

 

 

> * * *

 

 

"Bobby, how long has my little girl been dreaming about this?" John downed another drink while the pot-bellied Hunter sighed. "Months now, John... She said it started as glimpses then it became much more vivid, other times she dreamt about Dean dying or you dying... Heck, she even dreamt about me dying... John, she ain't my kid but I wish she was so you gotta pick up the slack as her Father. Reassure her, tell her about this. She has questions about a lot of things but she keeps it to herself because she knows it'll upset you or Dean, she wants to help you both but she doesn't even know how to help when you keep shielding her from the truth." It was getting bad that Bobby himself was getting mad for Sam's sake.

 

"The truth, Bobby? If she finds out she might run or live her life in a constant paranoia. I'm doing whatever it takes to protect her and to protect Dean." He said with finality while Bobby snorted. " Are you listening to me you half-wit idjit? If you keep shielding her from the truth, what happens when this thing comes for her when you, Dean or me aren't around, huh? For the last time, Sam won't run from this, I've seen this girl basically raised her since you keep ditching her here, she's strong like her Mom and I know she'll choose her family than the apple pie life you keep making yourself believe, John." It hurt hearing it from the man's mouth but he was right, he didn't have much to do with raising Sam except for the times she needed a diaper change. He may not be the ideal all-American champ Dad but he tries his best to be there for her, Mary wanted a simple life, a house and a couple of kids.

 

He thought maybe Sam would want that too but... is he really right with that thought?

 

"Sam can make her own decisions, John... Understand that she would sooner hide the things that scare than make you worry about her, she takes care of you and Dean better than what you do yourselves. She never asks about the hunts or why you guys are hurt so much since all she wants is for you two to go home safe and alive."

 

 

 

And Bobby left the table, leaving John with his thoughts on the matter. 

 

 


	4. Mad Hatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #3
> 
> I gotta admit that playing behind everyone's back is a mean job but it had to be done especially if I want to change the fate of the future...
> 
> It's a crazy world and I'm a crazy person for thinking I could do this alone.
> 
> \- S. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Readers!
> 
> I'm immensely surprised by the attraction you people are giving to this work since at first, it might be not good but the kudos are coming in a gentle rain which gave me a good indication that this story might not have been a fail. I'd appreciate comments and criticism if you'd like some clarifications about the plot, character development and whatnot.
> 
> With much love,
> 
> Warrior

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
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>  _Where is my prescription?_  
>  _Doctor, doctor please listen_  
>  _My brain is scattered_  
>  _You can be Alice, I'll be the mad hatter_  
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>  
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>  _I'm peeling the skin off my face_  
>  _'Cause I really hate being safe_  
>  _The normals, they make me afraid_  
>  _The crazies, they make me feel sane_
> 
>  
> 
>  _I'm nuts, baby, I'm mad,_  
>  _The craziest friend that you've ever had_  
>  _You think I'm psycho, you think I'm gone_  
>  _Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong_  
>  _Over the bend, entirely bonkers_  
>  _You like me best when I'm off my rocker_  
>  _Tell you a secret, I'm not alarmed_  
>  _So what if I'm crazy?_
> 
>  _The best people are_
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>  _-[Mad Hatter by Melanie Martinez](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7HEY-LTnwo)_
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She was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

Once upon a lifetime, it would take a lot of coaxing and begging for answers before Dean or John to give in, from the annoyance or guilt, to give her the answers to satisfy her ever-growing curiosity about their lifestyle or the fact that John was treating them like soldiers and that going to college was the biggest mistake that she ever made...

 

Back to being stuck, Dean had her cage with his arms and legs while she was clearly pressed on his chest that's almost crushing and she was also at the edge of the bed, the rock is her brother and the hard place was falling down, making a noise and waking up the rest of the paranoid residents of the house...

 

So, she carefully slid away down and an inevitably meeting with her facing Dean's crotch was not how she pictured her morning but she successfully managed to get away without waking her sleep-deprived brother, the eyebags are darker than before, she managed to do her morning shower and change into something much comfortable like a plain white shirt with her signature green flannel, jeans, and combat boots. Making her way downstairs, silently was a task seeing as Bobby's house floors tend to make noise when a little weight is added.

 

Sam thought she had the kitchen to herself but was surprised to see John up and making coffee since everyone agreed that John making any food with the use of a stove, oven or toaster leads to a disaster and Bobby only had John made coffee since that's one of the things he can make without causing a small fire. "Good morning, Dad." She made sure to cause a small amount of noise enough for John to hear but not the rest of the occupants.

 

"Mornin', Sam." He had bloodshot eyes and a clear heavy weight on his shoulders, she knows that look because that's the same look Dean had when he was either about to do something very stupid or tell her something very stupid. "What's the matter, Dad?" She asked as she walked a few tentative steps closer to the elder Winchester. "... Sam, I-I... the dreams?" She met with her Father's troubled gaze and gave a curt nod.

 

"I-I know that I should have told you sooner but you already have a lot on your plate, Dad... I didn't want you to get stressed further that might lead to a heart attack if I told you that I have always known and no one told me, I figured it out on my own... I just, uh... Kinda manipulated my words on Uncle Bobby to get the confirmation." She jumped when she heard someone snorted behind her, "Damn right, you did." Bobby said while behind him was Dean looking a bit troubled.

 

John looked perplexed and relieved that he can skip a few things but that didn't stop Sam from giving him a hug. "It's alright, Dad, you tried your best but I'm just better at figuring things out especially when you give me an excuse that you got bruises from a bar fight when I know that you're a skilled fighter." John chuckled at that, yeah, he did make very lame excuses. "Now that we got that out of the way, got anything to say, boy?" Dean did a pretty imitation of a fish then shrugged.

 

"I always had a feeling that Sammy doubted our excuses, can we get breakfast now?" Leave it to Dean to destroy a perfectly good heart-to-heart moment.

 

When they were eating breakfast and chatting idly, idly meaning that John and Dean came clean with every hunt that they went on with the right injury description that Sam wanted to hear from them. "A vengeful female spirit killing cheating men, I wonder how you both lived without your balls getting knicked off," Bobby uttered while Sam giggled at the indignant expression on both the Winchester males. "And to clarify things, you're not at least bit disturbed that we're hunting the bogeymen that use to haunt your dreams as a kid?" Dean asked with a slightly worried tone while John was sipping his coffee looking at Sam with his own perturbed look.

 

"For the last time, Dean, no! The only thing that bothers me is the amount of alcohol you and Dad decided to intake after every hunt that and the amount of time you sleep with different women despite the rubber you use, how much do you know that it didn't break and that you have a kid somewhere out there?" Oh yes, she was milking Dean's horrified expression but she'll be looking forward to the day he meets Lisa and Ben.

 

Bobby and John snorted. "Nice job, Sam. You scared your brother enough that he might not sleep around so much." 

 

"Sammy, why did you have to do that?" Dean whined because now he's having rampant thoughts of mini-Deans and some unknown woman in a living room in a stereotype Martha Steward lifestyle. "Because I naturally care about my brother's well-being." She quipped while John raised a brow. "What about the Father's well-being, Sammy?" She gave an amused look at her Dad. "You can take care of yourself just fine, Dad, since you happen to use both your brain and brawn power whilst Dean, happens to use more of his brawn and crotch." Dean laid his head on the table and groan while Bobby outwardly laughed. "Stop using big words, Sam, it's giving me a headache." He mumbled.

 

"If you happen to you use your brain more often then you wouldn't get a headache you stereotypical American Neandertal." She replied while John mused while Bobby just had fun watching the kids being kids. "I'm gonna pretend that I know what you are referencing." Dean looked up, chin on the table while Sam had this strange glint in her eyes. "Basically, you eat, sleep, drink, mate like those overcompensating steroid induced jocks at a high school drama filled chick-flick." Dean flipped her off.

 

"Bitch"

 

"Jerk"

 

 

 

 

> * * *

 

After the lovely morning banter, John and Dean decided to take it up a notch with Sam's defensive training as well as some target practice. "Remind me again why I'm using a 19th-century crossbow?" She asked while John explained that there are some creatures that are killed with specific weapons, not like she already knew that but she was playing the part of foolish newbie hunter, specific ways, and rituals.

 

"Vampires get killed by beheading and to turn a person into a vampire they need to ingest the blood, not by the bite?" She asked for clarification while Dean nodded. "They also hunt together or take the victim to their nest and the nest usually has pairs or usually called mates, they have more than five sometimes reaching up to twenty in a nest. " John watched Dean explain everything about the common creatures they usually encountered.

 

"You know, she's humoring her brother, right?" Bobby asked while John was observing on the sidelines. "Let me guess, she read your journal?" He asked a bit wryly on the matter while Bobby nodded. "It gave her a headstart about some things like salt n' burn, exorcism, creatures with a  _'How To Kill'_ in it." Forgoing the weapon in her hand, she and Dean headed to the mats for some hand-to-hand combat.

 

Once upon a time, she had the advantage of her six-foot-four height and large muscle mass but she had to make due with her petite figure that has surprising agility and flexibility as well as speed. She observed that with this new sex change comes some downsides namely, a crash course into PMS-ing... And the god-awful cramps...

 

Dean decided to aim an uppercut at but she outmaneuvered him by backing away and feigning a left upper kick to his side that he blocked only to have his other side completely free to get punched in the face. "Dude! That punch was weak!" He commented as he rubbed his cheek. Sam rolled her eyes as she swiped her distracted brother's legs with her own and pinned him to the ground.

 

"It wasn't meant to knock you out but distract you, De." 

 

 

 

 

> * * *

 

She watched from the front porch as Dean and her Father packed their stuff for a hunt while Bobby was giving them some heads-up about the things that are happening in the place, she had an odd nostalgic or a more melancholic feeling because before, she was with them... Ready and packing without another word but now, things are severely different which somehow frightens her.

 

She wondered about the consequences of her actions if she prevented something then what would be the repercussion.

 

"Hey Sam," She jumped a bit when she saw her Father standing in front of her, she grew a bit flustered seeing as she wasn't aware of her surrounding. "Hey Dad, sorry... a lot on my mind." She apologized while John frowned a bit. "... You know you can talk to me or Dean if this is bothering you, we won't push this to be part of your life." Her eyes softened and she instinctively hugged John, who stiffened at first but relaxed knowing Sam's affections were solidification of her feelings.

 

"Dad, you guys are part of this and you are part of my life... I can't just cut one thing out without cutting the other one and you guys are my family, there's nothing you could to make me run away from this."

 

_Because I'll be the one driving you away. I'm sorry._

 

She walked toward the driveway where Dean was trying his best not to look worried, he and Dad argued about bringing her with them on the hunt but in the end, Sam made a bargain that she'll do the research instead from Bobby's house where she can reassure her Father she'll be safe but all the while, hunt. "You know... one of these days he'll bring me out in the field, Dean." She said as she sat at the hood of the Impala with Dean beside her. "I know, Sammy... but with this Yellow-Eyed fucker out and the things that could kill, I'm not sure that Dad will ever let you hunt." He said gruffly while feeling dejected, he wanted to keep Sammy safe by making sure she was beside him and now with the secret out of the closet, he was relieved to get things off his chest.

 

Sam always understood the situation, she didn't question much unless it was needed to... She didn't need to be a rocket scientist to figure things out, she just did as if she already knew what was going to happen which was sometimes unnerving but he would just pegged it off as those women's intuition thing going on. When he would spiral into some sort of pit, she brought him back and it was unnerving that she knew him better than he knew himself.

 

It was also disappointing, on his part, that Sam knew him but he didn't know much about her.

 

He tried to make a valiant effort to get to know her, her quirks and the things that pissed her off but even as a baby, she didn't give him and his Dad a hard time in raising her... As if she already knew that their lives were on a constant run, she was small and vulnerable to the world and all he wanted to do was protect her, she's innocent and untainted but she makes it a point to always comfort him even when he makes it hard for her.

 

"Dean, don't worry... I understand but can you promise me something?" She asked her brother who gave her his full attention and gaze. "What is it, Sammy?"

 

"Call me if there's trouble, I don't care how big or small it is and come back home even if you're bruised or scrapped."

 

 

> * * *

 

 

When they took off for the case, Sam was left with Bobby who in return, left her with her thoughts seeing as everything was a bit out of the spur. It was a little cliché sitting on the front porch with a steaming cup of coffee and her thoughts running faster than the Impala on an emergency basis, she thought about the past and how different it was from what she's currently experiencing...

 

Her relationship with John wasn't close like as it is today before it was strained and full of tension, it was always Dean who acted as a buffer between them if things gets far out of hand but now the roles are reversed, she's the one acting as the buffer since Dean doesn't want to leave her alone even if she was living with a Hunter who was way past the average Hunter life expectancy and Dad _wanted_ her to stay in school instead of ganking the next monster in his journal. If he acted like this long ago then she wouldn't have any kind of hesitation in accepting but that wasn't who she was anymore.

 

Not after everything she's been through.

 

Dean and Castiel's death would be in vain.

 

But she's crazy to think she could do this alone.

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

With the secret out, Bobby told her that she'd be living alone for a few days seeing as he has a friend that needs help down in Nebraska near Jo and Ellen's place so they went out but that didn't mean she was assured. "What if they use the house phone and we aren't around?" She asked while he waved it off. "It's fine, connected to my phone that I'm leaving with you." He said gruffly while she hn'ed.

 

She welcomed the distraction.

 

 

The nightmares are plaguing her again.

 

 

 

 

 


	5. If I Lose Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #4
> 
> The nightmares are back, over and over... I saw them dying, I saw my beloved ones...
> 
> They are absolutely perfect, so perfect that I'm unworthy.
> 
> But unknowingly, I gave that part of myself to them.
> 
> \- S. W

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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>  _I stared up at the sun_  
>  _Thought of all the people,_  
>  _Places and things I've loved_
> 
>  _You can feel the light start to tremble_  
>  _Washing what you know out to sea_  
>  _You can see your life out of the window, tonight_
> 
>  _If I lose myself tonight_  
>  _It'll be by your side_  
>  _If I lose myself tonight_  
>  _Wooh, wooh, wooh!_
> 
>  _If I lose myself tonight_  
>  _It'll be you and I_  
>  _Lose myself tonight_
> 
>  _-[If I Lose Myself (Cover) by Madilyn Bailey & Corey Gray](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQYJQFPdqIg)_
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

 

 

 

_"Really Gigantor? Afraid that you'll squish Lil' ole me with those big muscles?" Gabriel poked the uneasy Sam Winchester as he helped the Archangel to his feet. "Gabriel, I'd appreciate if you didn't poke me, I have enough bullet holes that makes James Bond look like he only got scrapped on the knee." He hissed as his right leg protested with the sudden weight. Gabriel rolled his eyes yet abid to what the taller asked of him._

 

 

_After all, how many humans do you see taking an enhanced angel wing killer bullet for them?_

 

 

 

 

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_"Why would you stupidly go into an obvious trap, Sam?" It was frightening to see a calm yet enrage Archangel especially if it's the Devil himself. "I can and I will, Lucifer. They have Cas and Dean with them if you think I'm just going to sit this one out and hope for the better then you're sadly mistaken." He seethed as the Archangel keeps blocking his path. "Why?"_

 

_"Because he's my brother and there's nothing I wouldn't do to for him."_

 

 

_"Even risking your life?"_

 

 

_"He went to Hell for me and pulled me out of my own perdition."_

 

 

 

 

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Sam woke up with a dazed look on her face, she remembered those quite vividly and it broke her heart. As much as she was supposed to hate them for putting her and Dean in a situation where they can barely stand, barely trust...

 

 

And yet, she was fascinated with the eccentric behavior.

 

 

Castiel was the first angel she had met and his personality was very... strict and at first, she thought that all the other angels were like that but turns out everyone had a different personality hidden beneath the surface of obedience and fear, Castiel was the difference they needed in order to let that personality surface, all because of them.

 

 

Sam and Dean Winchester.

 

 

 

It was a revolution that Lucifer himself started but wasn't given the praise he so rightfully deserves. Her mind was swimming in dangerous waters but at the moment she didn't care for she was lost in her own thoughts, she knew that there are things that  _needed_ to happen but the selfish part of her  _wants_ nothing to happen, nothing major such as the Apocalypse but how?

 

 

She had Dean with her through and through along with Castiel.

 

 

Team Free Will. Two of the originals members died and one was left

 

 

 

 

 

She sighed deeply knowing full well that her top opponents are Zachariah and Raphael since back in her original timeline, Michael became a vegetable that was trapped by his inner demons and the fact that he kept everything in, he pushed everyone away thinking that leaving them ignorant would be the best option just like how Dean was when a situation arises. Zachariah is a suck-up lackey that'll follow Michael like a puppy to have this  _'higher art thou'_ attitude and boss everyone around and Raphael was just as lost as Michael when God disappeared while Uriel was a Lucifer fanatic...

 

 

To sum it all up, Chuck was the reason of the major Daddy Issues each one of his Archangels had.

 

 

Michael the Good Soldier Boy Who Doesn't Know What To Do, **Lucifer** the Rebellious Angsty Teen Who Has Point Yet Was Denied, _Raphael_ the I Don't Give A Crap But I Really Do But Hid It Well Teen and _**Gabriel**_ the Youngest Who Doesn't Want To See His Family Fight and Ran Off To Be A Norse God.

 

 

Christ... Everything's fucked up and she doesn't even know where to begin to fix it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If she could fix things by the comforts of her bed then she would.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her thoughts drifted to her dream more or less, a memory with two certain Archangels who both made her life Hell with one being the actual Devil and the other as the Trickster God that wants to get in her pants. She remembered them and how they fought ferociously against the Leviathans but in the end, even the mightiest fell, they died with their blades by their side and each other's back.

 

 

Remembering it made her die a little bit on the inside, Lucifer was a part of her just as she was to him. When he died, she did so too.

 

 

 

_'You don't know what you have until it's truly gone...'_ Those last words echoed in her mind as she recalled that when Team Free Will had something against the Leviathans but they were far from the safe house, they didn't have enough time but those two gave them more than enough time...

 

 

_'And look what happened.'_ The traitorous voice in her head sneered, everyone died yet she lived. The feeling of completeness as Lucifer and she were one was something she longed for but without the Apocalypse, her soul had sung such a melodious tone when reunited with Lucifer, the feeling she buried deep inside in fear of the reaction of her brother and of their Guardian.  _'You were made for me, Sam.'_ His voice was like sweet honey and dark chocolate when he tried to coax her into consent.

 

 

He made her feel weak at the same time safe.

 

 

 

A part of her wants to be lost in those captivating sweet words of safety but her moral obligation to her family won, over and over again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She wished she could be selfish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Her first hunt happened in Summer.

 

 

 

 

Her Dad and Dean agreed to let her do some field work in order to gain a good experience which happens to be an easy salt n' burn but from her experience alone, there's never an easy salt n' burn since the story can actually be much more fucked up than it usually is, she should be excited and fearful but her total lack of thereof made the other two Winchesters worry about the female Winchester.

 

 

She seemed much more somber than usual.

 

 

 

 

_'She had a nightmare, Sam's trying to figure out the meaning behind it, give her time, you idjits.'_ Bobby warned them that pushing Sam won't make the situation better instead of trying the asking out of the blue, wait for her to open up. "What's the M.O for this one, Sammy?" They let her take the lead in the research. "Vincent Brooks was a loving husband and Father but turns out he has a dirty secret which was being a sexual assaulter/killer at night, he would tie his victims up in their bed with their spouses or kids watching, duct tape or tied up. After having his way with the wife, he goes from youngest to oldest then lighting the place on fire. He was later caught but somehow escaped to a small copper-mining town in Jerome Arizona. So there are about two spooks in this town, another is a prostitute named Sammie Dean-"

 

 

Dean choked in his saliva while John had the gall to laugh. "Seriously?! Our names were combined to be a prostitute's name?" 

 

 

 

Sam ignored Dean's outburst. "Sammie Dean a prostitute who was strangled by a customer in the old Crib District. Her spirit is said to roams the alleys looking for her killer, who was never found. And a bunch other more spokes since this is one of those towns that had cowboys shooting each other as a form of dominant sport or showing off their testosterone high self." She ended without much of another word.

 

    

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ever since that dream with Gabriel and Lucifer happened, those dream-like memories became much more frequent and at times, more vivid that she can feel every sensation from the taste of the food that she ate to the hands that scarred her and the burning hot pain of a cut that was washed by alcohol. Everything was surreal that she woke up in a daze or in a worse case scenario, screaming in terror. The first time that it happened was when she dreamt of her dying then Dean making a deal to save her then Dean dying...

 

 

She didn't realize she was screaming and Dean was the one shaking her while her Dad was wiping her sweat and Bobby was holding her down so she wouldn't injure anyone.

 

 

Since then, she opted to tire herself out by working on the physical attributes she lacks such as muscle mass and a plan to get to the safehouse hidden behind Cummins Falls that's all the way in Tennessee which seemed to take most of her thinking space since it seems remotely impossible to even get away from the bloodhounds named John and Dean Winchester. 

 

 

While John and Dean opted to question the family of the victims, she wandered around the quiet town until she stumbled unto a church.

 

In the past life, she was never much of a religious person because of all the things that happened, she needed someone to blame and she blamed God for all of the unfairness of her life but in reality... She was angry at herself and like Dean, she didn't channel it properly instead she channeled it internally which twisted her psychology so bad that she the _'I-Must-Please'_ attitude, she would get the short end of the stick because she knows she deserves it.

 

 

Even up to today, she believes it.

 

 

 

At the very back and dark corner of the church, she sat and for the first time in a long time...

 

 

She prayed to God.

 

 

 

_'Dear God...or any Angels, I don't know whether you're hearing me or choose not to but like all others, I need your help. I don't know what to do with this life and I know I should take caution in life but... Why me? I know I've asked you this question several times and each answer seems vaguer than the last one. The balance of the world hangs between good and evil which both are currently peaceful, I don't know what should I do? I'm afraid of making mistakes that could seriously mess things up, I'm also afraid if I don't do anything then the same people will die all over again. Please, if you're hearing me... It's Sam Winchester... And I need guidance.'_

 

After her prayer, she stood up and left without another word neverminding that there was a rustle of feathers.

 

 

Sam felt like she needed something sweet since she felt very bitter or is it just the coffee? It seemed like a heavy burden was lifted from her as she prayed but she felt like she was being watched and shrugged it off. "Buuuut Mikey, it's just _one_ candy bar, I forgot my money back at home I'll pay you back when we get home." She glanced to the side and saw a young blonde boy pulling an exasperated teen to the candy shop. "You said that the last time, Luke... You still owe me twenty bucks and I have a study session with Lindy tonight." The older brother said while Luke sighed.

 

"She's just another screeching terror." Sam had to refrain from laughing but that didn't stop her from smiling seeing the older brother bring out his wallet and gave five dollars to the whooping sibling that went inside the shop. "You're a nice brother." She commented and saw the black haired boy named Mikey blushed. "W-well he's my little brother, if I don't give him what he wants then he'll bug the hell outta me." He stammered a bit since a clearly attractive girl just appeared in front of him.

 

Sam giggled a bit. "I may not be the oldest but you're just like my brother but I don't have to annoy him...much." She joked while the teen smiled. "I'm Michael Carlson but call me Mikey and the little brat that went inside the candy store is my brother, Lucas Carlson but he likes to be called Luke." He introduced himself while she shook his hand. "I'm Samantha Winchester and I prefer being called Sam, nice to meet you." She chatted with Mikey and had an odd sense of  _déjà vu_ when she saw Mikey and Luke.

 

It reminded her of herself and Dean...

 

 

Michael and Lucas.

 

 

Michael and Lucifer.

 

 

 

She remained calm despite the coincidence and excused herself to go inside the candy store and began to browse into the wide varieties of sweets that once would've made her teeth rotten and stomach churn now gave her a slight sense of comfort but she stopped when she came across a particular brand of sweet, it was one of those candies with a surprise inside flavor. She liked those...

 

 

"You like those too, huh?" A little blonde boy asked her earnestly as he appeared from another aisle. Sam nodded. "It's my favorite and it was my... friends' favorite..." She said with a sigh in the end. "You seem kinda sad... Did you and your friends fight?" Those big blue innocent eyes were something she had before when she didn't know the horrors of the world, it was a bittersweet feeling. "We used to... But they're not here anymore..." She said and swallowed the bitter lump forming in her throat.

 

"I can be your friend, my name is Lucas Carlson and I'm seven!" He was bubbly and honest.

 

 

When she bought a pack of the candy, she gave one to Lucas and exited the store meeting Michael again... She said farewell to the Carlson brothers but somehow she didn't feel sad or happy, she was stuck in this limbo state wherein two emotions were fighting off...

 

 

She was lost.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

She didn't know what happened exactly happen at first after the salt n' burning except that there was another fight that led to screaming and a clash of blows before she was hit at the back of her head before everything blacked out then when she woke up she found herself tied up and a bit roughened up but what surprised her was Lucas and Michael bloodied faces and another figure in front of them.

 

A man who's equally bloodied but something about him made her fear him.

 

 

"-hunters stormed in and killed your Mother!" He hissed while the two boys stood motionlessly but in their eyes, she could see that they didn't want this but they didn't have a choice, the way Michael held Lucas... Protecting him just like how Dean had protected her...

 

Is this the consequence of her actions?

 

 

Someone else is paying the price, someone else's family going through the hell because she decided that she wanted to protect her family... She hung her head in shame, her selfishness caused another to suffer when she promised that no one else will ever go through the same hell...

 

 

Oh, God.

 

 

"You're wrong about something, we don't become hunters because we want to but because we're forced to." She mumbled while she got lifted by her neck, she was losing oxygen by a madman's hand obsessive revenge streak. "Dad let her go!" Lucas pleaded while Michael nodded, this was something they didn't need to see. "How many times do I have to tell you, Lucas. Hunters are bloodthirsty, they will kill without hesitation and she is part of them!" Lucas flinched but he didn't back down. "She's not fighting back! You're no better than the hunter who killed Mom!" This time it was Michael who spoke and his eyes were like Dean's when he defied John's orders.

 

"You treated as soldiers, to be the monsters what they hunt down! You paint a target at our backs just to attract this hunter but didn't it occur to you that it might attract other hunters and kill us or do we not matter enough?" It hurts Sam and was feeling dizzy but fortunately enough she was thrown out of the man's grasped. She sucked the oxygen like a starved man, Lucas was beside her, patting her back.

 

 

"... You're not the only one who lost a loved one, a husband that lost a wife, children without a mother... At least yours wasn't killed by a demon who did it to countless others." She spat viciously and as she stares at the man's eyes, hers were burning like the fires of Hell, burning with a resolution that it hurts to look at without seeing your own sins. "I was a mere six-month-baby that had the unfortunate luck to remember how my own Mother died, she died _slowly_... Cut open like an experiment and strung up on the ceiling and I had to watch the light in her eyes faded! I thought it was just a dream but no dream lasts for years, repeating like a broken record, a haunting reminder that I didn't do anything and do you want to know the worse part of it all..."

 

 

 

She panted from lack of oxygen and the burning hatred for Azazel ripped through her like a knife thrust into her chest letting all those emotions flow out. "He burned her and as my Father carried me out of my nursery... In my mind, I heard her screaming... That night we lost the normalcy she represented instead we became revenge ridden, do you really want your sons to suffer for something that's going through with you? Turn them into the monsters that the hunter that killed your wife, their mother?" Years and years of pent-up aggression came pouring out.

 

"How would you know and I do whatever it takes to ensure that my family stay alive-"

 

"You know absolutely _nothing_ about Hell or the demons that rule it, how we took it upon ourselves to save many people as we possibly can and how we risk our lives to make sure that it doesn't happen, hundreds of hunters from around the world do their part because we were forced to take a responsibility that we didn't choose and you spread this propaganda that we kill your beings without a second thought? If you didn't act too recklessly, so inhumane then we didn't have to pull the trigger but you force us to, do you think every single hunter enjoys taking a life? Do you?! Because I'm telling you now, not every hunter is the same and not every creature is a bloodthirsty killer and if you're going to say that we had the choice and decided to kill anyway, think about the other hunters who hesitates to kill because they are finding a reason not to kill you when they see that you have your own family, others kill without hesitation because time and time again their soft-hearted nature nearly gets them killed."

 

 

She didn't care that she ranted, she didn't care that John, Bobby, and Dean heard her or the family of vampires stood unable to do what they're supposed to do when they were verbally slapped in the face...

 

 

 

Sam lost herself in her own emotional turmoil, was it the stress? The lack of sleep or the fact she was alone in this matter?

 

 

 

"Just take your sons and go, be the Father that they need..." She said while the man narrowed his eyes. "And what do you know about their needs, Hunter?" He didn't spat but he was struggling to keep the venom when all he felt was weariness and tiredness down to the bone. "I wouldn't be speaking if I didn't go through what they're going through but unlike you, my Father managed to piece himself back together and became the pillar of support along with my brother, Uncle and I's help... He became what we needed and it doesn't matter if he thinks it's still not good enough but my brother and I remind him that we don't need anything more except for him to live through each day despite our occupational hazard so don't tell me I don't know when I've crossed that bridge." 

 

 

 

She felt sore and thirsty, she didn't break down like that before so this was a first in her new life.

 

 

In the end, her family busted in and the vampires fled but as she struggled to keep her consciousness, she saw the grateful look that the brothers sent her...

 

 

_"Thank you, Sam..."_

 

 

She didn't see them again after they fled since they left the town for their own safety. "Oh, Sammy..." That night, Dean drove and Bobby's in the passenger seat while John hugged his daughter in fear of what might happen should he close his eyes, Dean felt conflicted because of what Sam told the vampires, she didn't want to kill unless she was forced to and all he did was pressure her.

 

 

How many vampires did he kill that mirrored their lives with them being the demon that took everything away from the family? How many families did they ripped apart because they lose themselves in the adrenaline or the pent-up anger that they stowed away only to let those prejudistic thoughts rule them?

 

Maybe he should take a page from Sam's book?

 

 

 

Unbest to them, Fate and Destiny smiled upon the change that is occurring.

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

She was in some sort of limbo in her mind.

 

 

 

But that wasn't the case, she was in the middle of a circle where mirrors surrounded her, blocked her path and what she saw made her froze...

 

 

She didn't see her reflection but the reflection of her former self, the six foot four height and shaggy hair, the blood and the haunted expression...

 

 

_You can't stop the inevitable._

 

 The in another mirror was Dean...

 

 

_You can't save everybody, Sammy._

 

 

 Cas...

 

_The abominable one_

 

Bobby...

 

_What did you do, you idjit?!_

 

 

 Dad, Mom, and Jess...

 

 

_You killed us because he wants you!_

 

 

 

Their voices gradually rising until it turned to a deafening shout that it forced her to her knees, she tried to cover her ears but it was too much, the truth hurts and her heart feels like it was about to explode...

 

 

She screamed and the mirrors shattered.

 

 

Amidst the broken shards, Sam tried to stand but it was far from over...

 

 

The shadows in her mind didn't cease except now it keeps replaying every death that occurred by her hands, by being associated with her and by her mere touched...

 

 

_You are cursed!_  

 

 

She fell once again of her knees unto the shards, her hands covering her ears as she hunched over with eyes shut and tears continuously falling down as she screamed for it to stop...

 

"I know it's my fault, I'm sorry I caused your deaths, I'm sorry I can't help it that I'm cursed! I'm sorry! I don't know what do...please tell me what should I do?! I'm weak without a purpose but now I try... Give me a chance to change it all... I'm begging you.."

 

 

She knew begging would just entice it to do more but somehow... It stopped but she didn't dare open her eyes until something or someone was caressing her cheek.

 

 

 

_Sammy._

 

"No...."

 

_Open your eyes._

 

"You're not real, stop it."

 

_God, why do you have to be such a bitch?_

 

She started to shake, too afraid to even look at the next kind of torture but when she opened her eyes and met with the familiar green hues and freckled face. "Dean?" She had to ask because the nightmares went for hours and she didn't trust herself whether this illusion is going to kill her or not.

 

_It took awhile but I can't stay long._ She tackled him, illusion or not, this was  _her_ Dean! 

 

 

"I lost it, Dean... I don't know if I can do this alone..." She said while Dean patted her and nodded.  _You went batshit crazy like Harley Quinn to the Joker minus the make-up and clown wear but anyways... I fucking hate to say that I'm dead but I am, I asked Chuck if he could help me contact you even if it's for a bit... Where I am is fucked up sure I have Mom, Dad, and the others... It doesn't have my bitchy brother -er... Sister there._

 

 

She smiled even if it's a bit strained. "You need rest but I'm hiding so much from your younger self, Dad, and Bobby. I don't what should I do when Cas appears." She said despondently while the older Winchester snorted.  _He wanted to come see you too but Chuck said only one and this is the only time I can get to contact you so I came to deliver the message._ He brought out his phone and went to the saved voice recordings.

 

 

_Sam,_

 

_The mission that you have is heavy and the fact remains that you have to face it alone bothers me and the others. We are not saying you are weak but the fact that allies are scarce from experience alone, it has taught that being wary leads to unyielding paranoia. I pleaded with Father to let us help but he said things must be done and after that then we will be able to help._

 

_You are my friend Sam Winchester and I apologize to you if my other self will be hostile to you once more and a thousand more apologies should my actions affect your relationship with your family but know this, you are not cursed, you are loved and strong._

 

_Remember that you've faced a lot of obstacles in your life and should you need guidance, pray to the Father, he owes you that much._

 

_Good luck, Sam._

 

 

It was sweet and mixed with a Dean-ish way but that's what you expect when the angel spends more time with Dean.

 

 

_Hey Sammy, I know things can get rough and fucked up... There are times when you really want to throw the towel but I know you're a tough son of a bitch that can handle the things that every asshole threw at us, bitch you better not give up on me._

 

She hugged her brother and laughed a bit despite the sadness in her heart.

 

"Don't lose faith in me, Jerk."

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

When she woke up, she was surrounded by her Father with Dean. They were in some sort of home-y motel, they were in the living room and John was leaning back on the sofa while she was laying on his lap while Dean connected a separate couch and was beside her...

 

 

She felt the love and basked in it.

 

 

She carefully extracted herself from her Father, it was a task but wasn't much of a hassle since she already spent a lifetime being Hunter she sneaking out from someone is a breeze despite being a person who's a light sleeper, she washed up and prepared breakfast...

 

 

"Sam?" She tilted her head to the side seeing Bobby, he was haggered like the other two who's in the living room. "Morning, Uncle Bobby." He hugged her and sighed. "You scared the living crap out of us, I broke nearly every law just to get in time but thank some God that I had a job in Vegas." He muttered while she smiled a bit. "Thanks, Bobby..." The old hunter can see that the events of last night still made her wary.

 

In all his life, he didn't see Sam break until last night.

 

Of course, he Goddamn knew how rough her life is, how some kids make fun of her by being tall and having thrift shop clothes or how she's smart and mature that she barely does anything or how some teachers actually believe those stuck-up snots since Sam hardly does anything since she always tells them it's pointless since they move around some much that she'll just forget those snots.

 

But eventually, John yielded to let Sam stabilize a bit and thankfully, the house wasn't so lonely when he had an adopted sorta ish-daughter. 

 

 

Even in her new school, those snots were no good with their self-entitled pride that's no good when it comes to hunting and if only those snots knew that the very girl they're bullying was the girl who's also protecting them like how she did with the vampires.

 

When John and Dean woke up, they had a sit down with Sam.

 

 

"... Sammy, I-I'm sorry..." Sam knew Dean wasn't a fan or at least a person that apologizes much but she knew that even he Dad felt the same but the important thing is that they both try...

 

"I know that you both try your absolute best to protect me and I hate to say this but I'm a human being capable of thinking for myself, I may be young but I'm not blind or deaf... I don't like killing but I will if I have to, only if the situation calls for it because I don't know whether or not I'm gonna gank something that has a family of his or her own." She said despite the raw disapproval that John wants to say.

 

He couldn't deny that Sam was right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How many of those things that he killed and turned those seemingly deadly by lore or tale that's actually living a nice quite life into something that mirrors their own?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 


	6. War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #5
> 
>  
> 
> Years passed since then and I'm happy to say that I made progress with both Dean and Dad when they only kill when needed, currently, I'm reliving my Stanford life because I was told so but I changed my major from Law it became Psychology because God only knows I'm going to need it.
> 
> On the plus side, I have friends that live.
> 
>  
> 
> Yay or Nay?
> 
> \- S. W

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> * * *
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> * * *
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> _War, huh, yeah_  
>  _What is it good for_  
>  _Absolutely nothing_
> 
>   
>  _War, huh, yeah_  
>  _What is it good for_  
>  _Absolutely nothing_
> 
>   
>  _Say it again, why'all_
> 
>  _War, huh, good god_  
>  _What is it good for_  
>  _Absolutely nothing, listen to me_
> 
>  _Oh, war, I despise_  
>  _'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives_
> 
>  _War means tears to thousands of mothers eyes_  
>  _When their sons go to fight_  
>  _And lose their lives_
> 
>  _ **-[War (Cover by Jack Black) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYdl4UDi4RI)**_
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dorm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

She couldn't believe she was at Stanford University with both her Dad and Dean inside her dorm room, double checking everything from the windows and doors. "Everything seems in place," John said gruffly as he put another box in the living room. "No place big enough to hide a boy, nice job picking this room, Sammy." Dean gave his sister a noogie in which she gave him the epic bitch face. "Unlike the others, I made sure to check the dorm rooms when we had our orientation so I can pick the private rooms since God only knows what I'll do if my roommate sees a Devil's Trap or a shotgun in sight." She said sourly while Dean chuckled.

 

 

John picked up the picture frame with the complete family.  _'Oh Mary, if only you could see our little girl right now.'_ He thought and placed it on the nightstand and gave the dorm one more sweep. "-so proud of you, Sammy." John smiled seeing his eldest hug his youngest when Sam was born, he knew she was going to be special and special she has proven herself time and time again by showing him and Dean that having a goal is good but a revenge laced goal is unhealthy. 

 

 

 

He was happy to have seen the error of his way before things were too late.

 

 

 

Sam made sure that they stuck like glue or super glue because they got each other's back with both Bobby and Sam being the brains while he and Dean were the brawns, together they did save lives and protected the weak by killing those evil sons of a bitches, John felt uneasy knowing that he did gank a few due to his vendetta but he amended it for it...

 

 

And Dean was spared from the guilt of killing innocent lives.

 

 

 

 

Just because they kill doesn't mean they do it for fun but out of necessity to survive another day.

 

 

 

 

It was a change that most of the Hunters that worked with them often disapproved but Rome wasn't built in a day, it was a gradual change that takes time. "Well..." John started while both the Winchester siblings looked at him. "Remember to phone us if anything happens and Sam... Please _don't_ hunt alone." He put a heavy emphasis on don't but knowing how stubborn Sam is, she'll call if she couldn't handle it.

 

"I'll try to Dad." The quirk of her slips indicated that John knew well enough that she's still going to do so. "I'll be driving by every now and then." Dean winked at his sister who rolled her eyes, ever since Dean got the Impala he's been picking up chicks but thankfully there's no handsy pansy in the backseat. "Please don't pick up any of Stanford kids, De... I don't want a hoard to form when you break their hearts." She pleaded.

 

"No worries, Sammy, not all of them are lookers."

 

 

 

John gave a hug to Sam. "I'll be going now, there's a hunt down in Michigan about some spooks." He said while Sam nodded. "Be safe, Dad." She said then John left his two kids alone. "He's proud of you, Sammy just doesn't know how to say it." She knew because that's how John Winchester is, a gruff man who lost his wife and struggled with two kids living in the backseat of the car.

 

He's alive and their bond is close.

 

 

"I don't need to hear it, Dean. I can see how he does it every day for the both of us." Sam said with a smile while Dean gave his own genuine smile, he's happy and proud of his little sister for all the obstacles they've faced, they did it together and hand in hand they battled the demons. "I'm happy for you, Sammy." He said earnestly while Sam blushed since that expression on Dean was something that made girls' blush.

 

She was fortunate enough that she can resist most of his charm.

 

 

"You know Dean, you could try and take some online classes?" She asked again with her own dimpled smile that made Dean laughed. "Yeah right, you already got away with me finishing High School, you're not gonna get away with college, Sammy." Sam resisted the urge to pout. "Even if that's what I want for my birthday?" Dean rolled his eyes. "You are such a pushy bitch." He joked while she gradually drifted to his side and wrapped her arm around his waist as they walked out of the dorm.

 

"And you are such a stubborn jerk but you love me anyway despite me being pushy." She winked while Dean couldn't deny that statement, Sam was her own reckoning force that even their Father couldn't handle just like fire, she burns bright and if you didn't handle with care she will burn you. Her fire was warm and it's his solace in the cold world when their house burnt down, he thought he couldn't find the same feeling again but he was wrong.

 

Sam made every single dingy hotel feel like a home to go back to after a long day's work.

 

She is the home he could always come back to and there's no one who could be compared to this.

 

 

She was his angel, the angel who wraps her wings and makes him feel safe... She never judges him but guides him unto a better path and he's proud to say that thanks to Sam he could be proud of himself... For all the sacrifices he had done... He glanced at his sister, who was lost in her own thoughts and those glittering emerald hues were undeniably expressive. There are times when he would get a glimpse of those light hues turn dark as if a shadow was cast and she was haunted.

 

 

It was broken and it scared him.

 

 

Deep inside he knew, he can't always protect Sammy but that doesn't mean he doesn't try.

 

 

"I'll see you soon, Sammy."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> **_Four Years Later..._ **
> 
> * * *

 

 

 

"To the smartest woman in the Psychology department!" 

 

Sam ducked her head as everyone on the table cheered. "You managed to score one of the highest scores in all time, Sam!" Jess cheered while it broke Sam's heart a little that she didn't have a dick or wasn't in her original gender because Jess was now happy in the arms of someone else didn't meet before but the good thing is that Jess is alive. "You're Law majors, why are you here?" Harry joked while the others rolled their eyes. "Because we can and Sam is our friend too, asshat!" Pete said as he shoved a drink towards Jess and Ralph's direction.

 

"I heard you have an interview this Monday for a full ride, is that true?" Kelly asked earnestly at the blushing brunette who smiled. "Yeah, Professor Hank recommended me and I have an interview with one of the sponsors." She said happily while everyone cheered. "Is that gorgeous brother of yours coming over to celebrate?" Lory asked with a vixen like a smile. In Sam's opinion, she didn't want Lory to be anywhere near Dean, not because she's jealous...

 

Lory just seemed off.

 

"Afraid not, Dean's not coming back till tomorrow, we're driving back to our Uncle's place to have a family celebration." She said a bit cheekily while the others who knew Sam enough, she was protective of her brother just as her brother is protective of her. In those four short years, she relished the feeling of absolute normalcy. "So hey, we're going on a road trip to Cummings Falls after graduation, you wanna come?" Jess asked Sam while she mentally debated whether she would go but if the timeline were correct then later tonight Dean would come barging in telling her that Dad went missing.

 

"I'll think about it, Jess. I can't make any promises but if I can't join you then I'll meet you there." She said while the others had mixed expressions. "You sure you can't just turn up the puppy dog look on your brother and Dad so you could join us?" Pete asked while she laughed a bit. "The last time I did that, they decided to tail us until we got to our destination and saw me getting hit on by a guy who looks like some sleazy wannabe Hugh Hefner and decided to become looming shadows." She replied dryly and recalled the time she did, in fact, told them she was going out of state.

 

There was a truck and a familiar Chevy Impala trailing behind them.

 

 

 

And the trip was a success on the civilians part but on their part, they had to fight a fucking witch who tried to hex Dean for killing her two covenmates while John destroyed the hex bag, she knocked the witch out but apparently, the witch was far into deep with the dark magic so they had to roast her for the sake of the seven people their coven had curse.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**Later That Night...** _
> 
>  

She was sitting on the sofa of the apartment she rented out, it was vastly different from her former life since it lacked Jess but it was safer this way so Azazel won't kill anyone else, the walls were covered with Enochian symbols that covered every room and a Devil's Trap under every rug or mat as well as doors and windows, what she lacked before she will fill now.

 

The walls were then covered by a clean crisped white wallpaper where she designed a nice Cherry Blossom tree in the living room while in her bedroom has a two Willow trees frozen in the midst of swaying and a thousand black butterflies forming the silhouette of Dean on the right side, the left side had angel wings and feathers that formed Castiel's silhouette...

 

On the ceiling was the design that she committed to memory, it was Death with Heaven's gate on the right and on the left is Hell in its fiery glory.

 

And written under Death's skeleton cloaked figure was the quote...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> ###  **_Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo_ **
> 
>  
> 
> __If I can not bend the will of Heaven, I shall move Hell_  
>  _

 

* * *

****

 

 

 

 

The quote was faded.

 

 

In her heart and mind, she knew has branded this saying because she knew if she yielded to the events that Heaven wanted then she would lose more than she could gain and Heaven isn't exactly on her side even from the beginning, she is the bringer of the Apocalypse by being Lucifer's true vessel unlike Dean who was blessed by the Angel's grace by being Michael's vessel.

 

 

Was she peeved?

 

 

She was indeed if only a little because, in her mind, she never chooses to be who the others wanted for their apocalyptic game and as she leaned back and got lost in her own memory of the past and compared with how vastly different it was from the original timeline and wondered how will everyone be since she had the knowledge, she could prevent or avert but deep inside.

 

She was scared.

 

Even with the knowledge of the upcoming events, she worries about breaking from the pressure or how easily she gets possessed, she can't allow this knowledge to be passed unto different beings...

 

 

A quiet click alerted her that Dean's here.

 

 

_'It's show time...'_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> **_"Dad's gone on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in days."_ **
> 
> ****
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> [ **The Woman in White.** ](https://exemplore.com/paranormal/The-Woman-in-White-A-Legend)
> 
>  
> 
> _The general term for this mythical creature is a "White Lady." She is also often known as a Woman in White or a Weeping Woman. A White Lady is a type of female ghost/apparition and is often seen in rural areas and associated with tragedy. The most common story behind this legend is that of a woman being betrayed by a husband or fiancé and then taking her own life._
> 
> _In some myths, the women murder their own children after the betrayal of their spouse and then commit suicide. These apparitions are often said to be harbingers of death. It is also often found under "Ghostly Hitchhikers" and the like because, in some stories, she is seen by the side of the road, waiting for unfaithful men to pick her up._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sam reread the same paragraph and sighed.

 

 

Constance Welch was a mother of two driven crazy by her husband's infidelity, drowned her kids and jumped off a bridge. A poor unfortunate soul who couldn't move on from the tragedy that struck in her life and decided that instead of owning up for her own flaws, she decided to inflict the same pain onto others even if they had no mistakes... She cannot face her mistakes.

 

Constance reminded Sam of her own flaws.

 

 

The times when her pride won over logic or clear thinking that it cost her much and she didn't want put the blame on herself so she put it on others just for the sake of not wounding her pride...

 

Like Constance.

 

 

 

 

She didn't want to face her mistakes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>   
>    
>  **[The Wendigo or Windigo ](https://www.backstoryradio.org/blog/the-mythology-and-misrepresentation-of-the-windigo/) **
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _The windigo originates from spiritual beliefs held by Indigenous peoples who inhabited large parts of both the northeastern seaboard and continental interior, especially the region around the Great Lakes and St. Lawrence River. A diverse mix of many different cultures and nations, the people share a set of similar dialects of the Algonquian language. As a result, they’re often referred to as “Algonquian” peoples._
> 
> _The windigo, sometimes spelled wendigo or weendigo, is believed to be the spirit of winter and a symbol of the dangers of selfishness. Although beliefs vary, the windigo is generally considered a horrifying entity with an insatiable taste for human flesh. Anyone who encounters a windigo risks being devoured or even being turned into a windigo._
> 
> _One usually becomes a windigo as punishment for dishonorable or taboo activities, such as engaging in cannibalism due to starvation. According to[Shawn Smallman](https://www.pdx.edu/intl/shawn-smallman), author of Dangerous Spirits: The Windigo in Myth and History, “it was a means of defining moral social behavior, which could serve as a warning against greed and selfishness.” One could also become a windigo if a shaman cursed them or if they dreamed of the windigo. The myth was also used to explain mental illness and other serious afflictions._
> 
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> * * *
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A cannibal born from greed.

 

 

She remembers the time when she would be so greedy with her money, her space, and the other things. She cared less about how much Dean sacrificed for her or how her Dad tried to become the Father she needed, she pushed them away because she didn't see how much they sacrificed until they were gone...

 

 

 

Her greed caused her so much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
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> _**Dead In The Water...** _
> 
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> * * *

 

 

 

Drowning. 

 

 

How many times has she felt it? When the pressure got too much that she drowned or downed, sinking into the dark abyss with nothing left to blame but herself and the calls she made to sacrifice those people who didn't even deserve to see the darker side of life. "Sam, are you alright?" Andrea asked as she saw the brunette sighing deeply. "... I wish I could say that I'm alright..." Sam knew better than to lie.

 

The way Sam leaned on the side or the way the light reflected on her eyes, Andrea knew that those eyes have seen horror despite how young Sam is, the huntress saw things that could make a grown man beg for mercy. She and her brother saved her son and herself, it was a twisted event that claimed not only her late husband but her Father and their family friend's family.

 

Karma was surely a bitch.

 

 

 

 

 "Sammy, you alright?" When they drove away from the town, Dean took noticed how quiet Sam was. "... Dean, I'm just worried about Dad." She replied and inclined her head to the side, it's been weeks and there wasn't a single sign of their Father except for the journal...

 

 

Sam then paused. "Dean, do you remember that there's a part of Dad's journal that was ripped off?" She asked and the gears in her head were turning since she thought of Adam. "Yeah, what about it?" He asked a bit puzzled by Sam's sudden change of mood.  _'Must be that time of the month.'_ He thought and watched as Sam dug through the backseat to get the journal. The driver-in-question tried to avert his eyes as he saw a nicely shaped thing on the mirror.

 

 

Sister or not, Sammy did have a nice plump behind.

 

 

"Quick question, Sammy... How many times has your ass been slapped?" The time-traveler that turned female groaned. "Far too many times and for the record, I gave them the nutcracker so you don't have to threaten anyone on my account." She replied and cheered a bit when she found the journal but her victory was short when she felt a burning sensation on her ass, she was sure there was a handprint there.

 

 

 

"Did you just slap my ass?!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

 Before they headed to Minnesota.

 

 

Sam knew that they needed to finish off the demon causing trouble in the airport, she bemoaned that she couldn't use the angel blade or Ruby's knife much less the demon gun that she was accustomed to, it was back to basics with the incantations, holy water, Devil's Trap and salt... Pounds of salt. This was really it, this was a redo of everything that's ever happened in her previous life, it felt nice for once.

 

"Dean... we may have a demon on our hands." She replied as she showed him the sulfur-like material and he cussed. "What do we do when we're fifty-thousand feet from the ground?" He asked and his face set on the familiar scowl. "We do what we do best, gank it or at least exorcise it." She replied calmly and gave him the look of  _'what-do-you-expect?'_ Dean had to commend Sam for her calmness, he missed hunting with his sister but before he could go down that road.

 

 

They have a demon to gank and a plane full of people to save.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
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> _This **INTERLUDE**  is brought to you by the leading stars of **Casa Erotica's**_
> 
> _new hit series..._
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>  
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> **_You Kill Me With A Kiss_ **
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> **_&_ **
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> **_My Forbidden Fruit_ **
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> _Dean Smith & Samantha Wesson_
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> _"I can't... Dean, you're my brother." She gasped feeling those hands grope her ass and the hot mouth teasing her sensitive neck. "You told me... You would do anything for me, Sammy and what I want is you under me and screaming to the heavens with my name." He said as he hastily unbuttoned her flannel top while his other hand didn't waste time in teasing her bra-clad chest..._
> 
>  
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> _"Oh Dean....this is wrong but why does it feel so right?" She asked while Dean hummed in appreciation seeing Sam all red and wanton for him-_
> 
> "CUT!"
> 
>  
> 
> The two actors stopped and as the cameras were being adjusted, they gave a bit laugh despite being underdressed sitting on the bed with a cold beer. "I never thought we'd be doing a scene together so soon." She said while Dean gave her his signiture flirty smile. "I had to pull an few strings and bribe a few people since you were only in town for a few days."
> 
>  
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> "Wanna go out for a beer sometime?"
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> _That was a sneek preview of what's to come in the future so stay tune!_
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> _WE NOW COMMENSE TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAM_
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> **_The Choices We Make..._ **
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> * * *

 

 

They were here in Minnesota.  
  
  
  
  
"Mind telling me why we're in the middle of no-town, Minnesota?" Dean asked as he saw Sam sitting on Baby's hood with a bunch of papers. "I'm just...following a hunch, Dean." She replied softly and she did research on the Milligan family to confirm her curiosities and even printed out a copy of a birth certificate. "A hunch about what?" She looked up seeing the frustrated look Dean had when there was something she knows and he didn't.   
  
  
  
"First of all, I need you to calm down." She said and Dean knew something was up seeing how serious Sam is. "Second of all, did you know we have a brother?" Dean looked as if a bombshell was dropped on him. "We have a what now?" He asked and went over to Sam's side to look at the papers she was fussing about. "I was looking through Dad's journal and saw the ripped pages, normally Dad doesn't rip pages out even if it has inkblots on it so I scavaged where he could possibly hide it and I did, turns out we have a little brother name Adam and he lives with his Mom." She replied and stared at the expressions Dean made whether he'll explode like the last time or...  
  
  
  
  
  
"The why didn't Dad tell us we have a brother?" It was very unexpected to see Dean  _not_ explode but then again this was different, Dad was dead before they even knew Adam was alive or dead... They had to make sure to take care of those ghouls. "Maybe this was Dad's shot of a try in a normal life, Dean and besides... If we're lucky, Dad might be there." She said positively and in her mind.  
  
  
  
  
She knew family is important, she couldn't let this opportunity pass wherein she could actually help raise Adam.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Not like the last time.

 

 

 

"I sure hope you're right about this, Sam," Dean uttered as they drove near the house, the two siblings saw a woman and her son sitting on the front porch, Sam catalogued their reactions and how surprised and shocked the Milligans were when the Winchester siblings exited the car and walked towards them in a slow, uneasy manner.

 

 

"Are you Kate and Adam Milligan?" Dean asked gruffly as always, Sam took noticed how Kate shielded Adam but despite how wary the mother is of them, she stood to protect her son first. "Yes, yes we are, who are you?" Adam asked warily as he held Dean's stare...

 

Thankfully, Sam took reign before Dean's temper did.

 

"I'm Sam Winchester and this is my older brother, Dean Winchester. We're John's kids too." She said and gave her brother the look while the two Milligans eased a bit but they were a bit defensive. "I have siblings?" Adam asked surprised while Sam chuckled a bit. "Yeah, you do. We just found about you through Dad's Journal." Dean thought that Sam was treating this way too lightly and way too easy.

 

They were different than Adam but...

 

Seeing how at ease his sister was, he couldn't place it but somehow there was an invisible weigh on her shoulder that seemed to been have lifted. "Why didn't Dad tell us about this?" He asked while Sam sighed. "Do you want to go inside for a bit?" Kate offered the siblings. "We...wouldn't want to impose." Dean wanted to protest but knew that it was overstepping his boundaries. "It's alright, why don't you tell me about Dad?" Adam insisted as he noticed how Sam and Dean were a bit hesitant but he couldn't blame them, if he was in their shoes, he'd be wary himself.

 

 

"Ms. Milligan..." Sam started as they were both in the kitchen while Adam and Dean were in the living room discussing about baseball. "Please...just call me Kate." Kate offered Sam a cold beer while she was grateful for it, she was a bit troubled. "We know that we may have imposed so I apologize but... Did Dad happen to pass by?" She asked while Kate gave a confused look. "Why don't you just contact him?" Sam sighed deeply and put the bottle on the counter. "It's a bit more complicated than that... Does Adam know about this?" She indicated herself and Dean while Kate just sighed.

 

"John's been teaching him how to shoot a gun and the basics of defense but other than that... Nothing." She and Sam looked at the two Winchesters-by-blood boys. "They have a lot more in common than they both realize," Sam said out loud watching Dean and Adam interact. She knew that being a female warranted some sort of barrier between her and her brother, it stings a bit but maybe it's for the best...

 

 

 Dean, despite his initial wariness before, seemed much more at ease with Adam's presence. The light in Dean's eyes was bright and despite the horrors of the Hunter life, it held it's optimism and she'd like to make sure it stays that way but she was way over her head.

 

 

The preparation for the Apocalypse has never been so close and so many players were yet to be revealed.

 

 

 

But there was a bigger war coming and the Apocalypse would pale in comparison to the war she'd experienced.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Fix a Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #6
> 
>  
> 
> Things are unraveling in my dreams, I could barely keep it together. I pray every night to just forget but who am I kidding? The angels think I'm an abomination, demons want me dead or to be their Messiah of Darkness, it's getting hard to fight all those repressed feelings.
> 
> Someone... Please save me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This might be a little dark.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> _Even though I know what's wrong_  
>  _How could I be so sure_  
>  _If you never say what you feel, feel_  
>  _I must have held your hand so tight_  
>  _You didn't have the will to fight_  
>  _I guess you needed more time to heal_
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> _Baby, I just ran out of band-aids_  
>  _I don't even know where to start_  
>  _'Cause you can bandage the damage_  
>  _You never really can fix a heart_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _** - [Fix a Heart by Demi Lovato](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9DBFTZTKPI) ** _

 

 

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Nightmares.

 

 

Those things never ceased to plague her every night, it was like Mystery Spot all over again but this time, it was replaying all of her mistakes and the deaths of the people she could've saved but she failed in regards of saving. She lost herself and drowned in the shadows, she didn't ask for this or want the demon blood in her system but it seems like Fate couldn't stop being a bitch for a lifetime. 

 

**Abomination**.

 

It was an ugly word that she labeled herself due to what the majority thought of her, Sam Winchester... The Girl With The Demon Blood. She didn't want it in her system, it was laughable at how those beings who were supposed to represent goodwill and mercy turns out to be a big bag of dicks with a deep seeded prejudice without even getting to know who the person truly is. A mud monkey is what those angelic assholes labeled the human kind, the new baby and prized creation of God, flawed beings that will just destroy Earth. Being jealous of Dean's luck with the angelic assholes was childish but it cut her deep, she prayed to those beings and asked for guidance and all they did was mock her and constantly remind her that she was and always will be an **_abomination_**.

 

 

"Sam!" She jumped a bit and looked at Dean. "W-what is it?" The stutter made Dean worry a bit for Sam because of the past week, she was distant and he even caught tears but said nothing because he knew she was going to tell him sooner or later. "You alright? You've been spacing out." His green hues stared at the road but momentarily glanced at Sam, she seemed more disheveled than usual and the bags under her eyes looked more bruised.

 

"... A bad dream, Dean..." It was the same answer and Dean knew it was something else either Sam was hiding it because she didn't want to be called out for her more estrogen side or it was  _that_ dream. The rest of the car ride was cloaked in dead silence which made Sam dive deeper into those thoughts of not existing at all, she knew the challenges up ahead but how can she change it? 

 

What consequences would happen if she began changing events and saving those lives?

 

 

"Hello, crappy motel," Dean said as they entered the skeevy motel room. "I'm heading to the diner and getting some grub, want anything else besides your rabbit food?" She gave him a bitchface look when Dean would say that since she prefers the healthier stuff than those heart attack inducing grease food that he loves so much. "Just some cake or pie if they have some, Dean." She replied and he nodded then headed out leaving her all alone.

 

She can't stand being apart from Dean but being with him everywhere wasn't healthy much less morally-accepted but how can she stay away from the person who sacrificed so much for her? Pieced her back together and evidently, died for her. It was honestly bullshit to think Dean thinks of himself as low when compared to her, she was scum and she wasn't worth much unless she was saving the world but Chuck told her that everything has its consequences.

 

It was getting harder to breathe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>   _Please God send someone... anyone to save me, I'm lost and I just want to be found._

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
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 In the past life, she remembered everything clear as day.

 

 

The list of fucked up things that Sam Winchester did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **\- Got his Mother killed.**
> 
> **\- Disappointed the remainder of his family and left.**
> 
> **\- Got the girl he wants to marry killed.**
> 
> **\- Disappointed his brother.**
> 
> **\- Got his Dad killed.**
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> **\- Got his brother to sell his soul so that he could be brought back to life.**
> 
> **\- Lied to his brother.**
> 
> **\- Got addicted to something that destroyed him.**
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> **\- An abomination in Heaven's eyes.**
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> **\- Killed Lilith and started the Apocalypse.**
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> **\- Lucifer got out of the Cage.**
> 
> **\- Said _Yes_ to Lucifer.**
> 
> **\- Bobby got hurt.**
> 
> **\- Innocent people died.**
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> **\- Bobby died.**
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> **\- Dean and Cas died.**
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> **- ~~~~_~~H~~_ ~~ _e shouldn't have existed._~~ _Existance._**
> 
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She's pretty sure she could keep the ball rolling on the poor choices she made and she thought of making, it was unfair but who was she to bitch about it when she clearly deserved the full brunt of it, heck, she might deserve even more for the mounting disappointment she added at every turn and now... She was looking back at all those mistakes and what she did was let out a sigh.

 

 

 Even the cooling seats of the park bench didn't elevate her spirits because she thought poorly of herself and how she thought she deserved all of this Hell.

 

 

 

It was honestly heartbreaking to see everything again, all those poor choices were fixed but not everything was as it seems. She held her brother at a distance and their dangerous codependence was in the middle rather in the danger zone, she was afraid to be dependent on Dean again because her enemies...  _their_ enemies would use it against them and as much as she held Dean close to her heart and soul, she will not allow it to break them to the point where everything would be a dangerous cycle. Sam wanted to talk to Dean, to tell him _everything_ so they could avoid it, to tell how  _sorry_ she was for the mistakes she had done, for all of the sins she had committed and how she robbed Dean his apple pie life because of her existence.  
  
  
  
  
John would not have been a hunter if Mary hadn't died.

 

 

If she could only take those awful events back, she would do so in a heartbeat. It was already dark but she didn't feel scared or anything remotely close to it because she knew what lurks in the dark and she was prepared for it but she wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotions attacking her and the tears that clouded her eyes and how pitiful sobs were escaping her lips and her body was shaking like a leaf.

 

She was vulnerable and she prayed that someone catches her before she falls into deep.

 

 

 

 

"Are you alright?" She tried to compose herself, she honestly did but when she caught a glimpse of those whiskey shot eyes, she was dead in shock of who it was.

 

 

 

"I'd say I was but I'm hardly in the shape to lie." She replied and sniffled a bit while the stranger took out his handkerchief and patted her tears away. "Boyfriend cheated on you?" He asked with a quirk of his lips while she, honest to God, chuckled. "If it were so, I wouldn't be here because I'd be there stopping my brother from mutilating the guy that'll be considered a crossbreed of Freddy Kreuger and  Jason's victims." She replied dryly while he grinned, it was achingly familiar and it seemed too good to be just a dream.

 

"Let me guess, no boyfriend since birth?" He asked and just sat at the unoccupied park bench beside her. "None, never interested nor invested my time and it'll be considered a miracle if it did happen." She replied and he snorted. "Even I'd call that bullshit."He replied while she chuckled, strained but it was genuine. "Funny, my friend told me the same thing but hey, I live a complicated life." Sam watched the man's reaction and noticed his profile, it was  _exactly_ the same as before and it was aching to see and she prayed to God that he won't know because it'll be one hell of a conversation. "Complicated, baby doll? I'm the poster boy for complications so lay it on me!" Her lips did a slight twitch and sighed. "Why the hell would I tell a stranger, you could be a killer with Hannibal Lector-like qualities?" She replied with a bit snark but it didn't much heat into it that the stranger laughed.

 

"Babydoll, the only I'll be eating is that sexy ass of yours if you'd allow me to but I'm no cannibal, I like 'em alive and kicking with a dash of screams 'O pleasure and this and that. "He stated boldly while she felt a blush creeping up her cheeks and neck. "You're adorable~" He teased while she gave him the signature Bitchface as Dean so likes to call it while the stranger gave her a cocky grin. "It's Sam Winchester or Sam, not Baby Doll." She said while the guy took her hand and kissed the back of her hand and gave the perfect gentleman smile.

 

As if.

 

 

 She knew better.

 

 

"Loki, just Loki and nice to meet you, Babydoll." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
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 What happens when God answers your prayer with a familiar figure?

 

 

Sam found herself walking down the starlit night with none other than, Loki who is actually Gabriel, the youngest and beloved Archangel of the Heavenly Host talking about the strangest things to philosophies that sounds so complicated but when given a nice and simple comparison, it was easier to understand and comprehend. "You're a Psych major then?" He asked with interest but in the back of her mind, she snorted since he knew full well what she majored in and who her family is and what they exactly do.

 

"Yeah..." She reminisced her days back in Stanford, the normality of it but she couldn't deny that the normality felt so foreign to her since she knew the consequences of the apple pie life, it didn't end well and it never does because that life wasn't just meant for her. Skipping past other topics, she felt at ease especially the personal ones but Gabriel had to bring out a topic she held close to her heart and soul...

 

 

 

Lucifer.

 

 

"Why are you asking me about this?" She asked evenly while he shrugged. "Most people would have biased opinions and it's rare to find open-minded individuals." Sam knew it was a partial truth and there was some sort of agenda since Gabriel loves his brothers, he was especially close with Lucifer and even after Lucifer's Fall, he loves his brother. "Personally, I admire how bold he was when he was the first beings to represent  _Free Will_ to God of all people, he was the favored son and he chooses to stand against the Father that he loves so dearly because they had different points of view. It was also disappointing that Lucifer decided to end it in bloodshed rather than talk it out, he made valid points that humanity is nothing but flawed that will destroy what God has created but as Lucifer had valid points, he also was wrong. Humanity represents the various choices as a person could make from the good, the bad and the ugly. Humans were born with a choice like every sentient being, we just represent it, some stand out while others follow like mindless soldiers." She said and risked a glance at the youngest Archangel who looked at her with a look akin to fascination.

 

"You're different, Babydoll and not the bad kind." He said while she gave him a smile. "Being different is better than hiding a part of yourself or running away from the truth, Loki." She replied softly and stared ahead missing the shocked expression that passed by his face. "How would you know?" She expected him to be defensive and deep in denial why she shrugged. "I don't know, I'm not God that's for sure but I know what I am and what I am is human. A human being capable of love, happiness, and mistakes that I own up so I can be a better person than yesterday's regret." Sam said and felt something lifted from her and sighed.

 

"And if you're wrong about your assumptions?" He asked and for some reason, she detected some sort of crack in his tone but ignored it for the sake of this talk, she kept it to herself. "Then I was wrong. who am I to force my opinions on someone who has their own set of beliefs." She said and gave a sideward glance at the man beside her, he looked lost and two different emotions fighting. For the first time, she got a glimpse of the Gabriel who was at lost when his family broke off.

 

"What do I feel like we've switch roles?" He asked and she shrugged. "I'm still the crying damsel and you're a man obviously dealing with his own baggage, no roles were switched since we're both in a position where we don't know what to do and hope for guidance." And handed him his handkerchief but he shook his head. "Keep it, I have tons of it, Babydoll." She pocketed it but felt something else in her pocket and her eyes widened. 

 

"Oh shit, what time is it?" Loki looked amuse at the frantic brunette who took out her phone which had seventeen unread messages and eight missed calls all from the same person that is sure to give her an earful when she returns to the motel room. Ï enjoyed our talk, truly but I gotta jet before my brother contracts an aneurysm." She said frantically while Loki gave her his signature smirk and rather than giving her his disappearing act or some smartass comment, he took her hand and gave a kiss.

 

"I know a thing or two about brothers and their protectiveness, I enjoyed our talk, Samshine, until next time." 

 

 

Gabriel watched the supposed  _Girl With The Demon Blood_ as she ran back to her brother, how wrong were his brothers and sisters were. She wasn't what they deemed even he could sense the purity and sincerity behind the words that were spoken with complete honesty, she was pure and bright, she was his brother's vessel and he couldn't deny how closely similar they are. Their words would draw attention and they have this unearthly pull that even he was threatened to get into...

 

Unlike Lucifer, Sam was hopeful for her race and she gives the benefit of the doubt...

 

 

She wasn't an abomination as the others labeled her to be and he enjoyed talking to her, she has her wit and wasn't bad on the eyes, her soul shines and he was afraid for her because souls like hers were in constant danger because there are those who would like to taint it and twist it for their own amusement, he looked towards the general direction she ran. Behind the body lies a soul so strong, so pure and bright that there was no mistaking how she was truly made for being Lucifer's vessel.

 

It was such a waste.

 

 

Lucifer would only destroy her to fulfill a prophecy. He was glad that Heaven was wrong in their assumptions on the Righteous Man's sister because years ago he would stay remotely far away from anything that would be related to his former home but for the first time in a long time, he felt his Father's presence and it led him here and found the weeping sister who suffers from dark thoughts and whatever his Father wanted was related to Sam Winchester. He should be pissed-poor angry at the Father who left them in ruins, who let it escalate to the point where there was a wedge deeper than the pit itself between the brothers but for some reason, his reasoning sounded petulant and childish, there was a bigger picture here and he has trouble seeing it.

 

 

He would leave it for now because another thing boggles his mind.

 

 

 

Why can't he read Sam Winchester's mind?

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **_Your prayer has been answered, Sam Winchester._ **

 

 

 

 

 

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>  

 

 

 

 Dean was mad, no, mad was putting it lightly.

 

 

He was livid and it was not helping her emotional case. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?!" He shouted while she stood her ground and met his livid stare. "Dean, you of all people know what I'm  _exactly_ going through and you know how it's not easy despite how I always tell you, this freaky visions are one thing but do you have any idea how it feels like to remember their deaths, the deaths I could've prevented if we have gotten there on time, Dean... You don't know, I get that you're worried about the situation, about that Dad is missing and how the Yellow-Eyed demon is involved in all of this." She replied calmly as she could but even Dean could see how she's barely restraining herself.

 

How her eyes were being consumed by the golden specs.

 

"I'm a freak and I get-" She was abruptly cut off when Dean had both of his hands on her shoulders and gave her a good shake for good measures. "Is this what this is about? Are you thinking that I thought of you as a freak, Sam? I don't see you as a fucking freak unless it comes to being clean, you are **not** like Max, Sam.  You know what I think about this situation? Crap, you heard me crap. You're beating yourself up for the things you could've fixed but you have no control over it, the point is, we can't save everyone but-" 

 

"We can try to save as many as we can, I know. It's just... I don't know what to do, Dean and I'm scared." She said and covered her face with her hands, she was fortunate enough to be sitting on the bed while Dean was standing in front of her.  _'She's right, I don't know but that doesn't mean I can try.'_ He groused mentally and sighed. "Sam... Sammy, you know I'm your big brother, right?" Dean heard her mumbled replied with an  _'Obviously'_ and he tried to calm himself down by mentally counting to ten. "And you know that I'm nothing more than a High School graduate with six dollars to my name so I don't know the shit that's going on unless you tell me what the hell is wrong because there are times when I know shit and there are times when I screw things up." He said while Sam peaked through her fingers and saw how frustrated how Dean looked at the situation.

 

"Dean we'll find Dad and we'll get the answers we need soon enough." 

 

She prayed to God that the confrontation between all three Winchesters wouldn't result in a bloodbath.

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 Cannibals.

 

 

Sick and twisted human beings with a penchant for hunting and also a step away from being a Wendigo or something much worse. It gave her a nasty feeling in the inside and watched as a child was twisted into something so horrific, she prayed for their souls, what kind of madness drove innocent beings into something so monstrous. She and Dean shared a look when the policewoman released them.

 

"Take care, you two." She said while Sam smiled at the valiant effort the woman tried to be intimidating whilst caring. "We will, Officer and take care of yourself." She and her brother disappeared because that's one of few things they were good at, make an impact on someone's life and leave. "Want me to drive?" She offered while Dean grunted in agreement and while Dean was resting, Sam was deep in thought. 

 

 

 

 She knew that Meg was waiting for them and it was nothing more than a trap for Dad.

 

 

Azazel wasn't anywhere near Chicago so instead, she sent a message to her Father that she heard of a rumor that his former mentor, Daniel Elkins had the legendary Colt made by Samuel Colt, it was better that they were nowhere near each other because it spells disaster and she tried to keep one of those haunting thoughts at bay but she couldn't deny it further when it's right in front of her.

 

It was almost time.

 

 

She wished she had more time, to be just Sam, to be with her brother, to be with her Father and her Uncle but really? Who was she kidding? She wasn't exactly fooling anyone when it was almost time to fulfill God's plan for her...

 

 

She still wasn't fixed.

 

 

"Oh God... what do I do now?" 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. After The Heartbreak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry # 7
> 
> What happens when you have an Archangel disguised as Pagan God who is acting like your best buddy? I wonder if this will complicate the plans I have and why does it feel like there's something hanging above my head besides a question mark?
> 
> I'm not going to lie, it was nice to be with Gabriel again but something else is bothering me or the general situation and it rhymes with Dean.
> 
> \- S. W

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _I am lost in the dark_  
>  _Wanna be where you are_  
>  _So hard to keep it together_  
>  _When you pulled me apart_  
>  _Haunted by your disguise_  
>  _Disappeared with the light_  
>  _Days and nights feel like forever_  
>  _All my innocence has died, has died_
> 
>   
>  _Have you ever seen the sun?_  
>  _Have you ever seen the stars?_  
>  _I've seen them before in your eyes_  
>  _After the heartbreak_  
>  _Frozen somewhere in time_  
>  _Have you ever seen the stars?_  
>  _I've seen them before in your eyes_  
>  _Ah-ah-ah-ah_  
>  _Ah-ah-ah-ah_  
>  _Ah-ah-ah-ah (Frozen somewhere in time)_
> 
>  
> 
>  ** _-[After the Heartbreak by Brielle Von Hugel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WvekeQDHpY)_**
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oddities.

 

 

They were a common thing in the daily life of Sam Winchester and one thing that's making her Hunter side itch but waking up with a plastic spoon in her mouth and her brother waking her up in a rude manner by blasting the radio on and he somehow snapped a picture, which she reminded herself that she will delete. "Not funny, jerk." She grumbled while her words hold no heat, Dean merely smirked and laughed on.

 

Sam saw the rare carefree side of her brother.

 

He was much better with a smile on. "Take a picture, Sammy. Immortalize your brother's beauty!" He kidded while she snorted and cracked her neck to ease the kinks. "Uncle Bobby is easier on the eyes than you'll ever be, Dean." She took great pride in seeing his brother splutter and nearly crashed them to an oncoming car. "Dean! Try not to get us killed while you're at it!" She shouted and hit her brother's shoulder slightly.

 

"You're a demanding bitch, I pity the guy that wants your sorry ass."

 

"How can I even get a guy when you keep on scaring them with your face and the shotgun, overprotective jerk?" 

 

The older Winchester smirked knowingly, it's not because he wants Sam to be single for life, maybe he wants to but that was in the deepest part of his mind, he's not making it easier for any guy because like all overprotective brothers, the poor bastard needs to prove himself whether he's worthy or not for his little Sammy because he's just not gonna sit around and see his sister break her heart for a bastard that wants a shag. 

 

And he also wants to see whether Sam is willing to go through hell for the guy as the guy is going through hell for her.

 

Can't say he tried to ensure his little sister would stay single, he wasn't a saint himself to tell her off.

 

 

 

"Oh, you have to be kidding me." Dean glanced at his sister who was currently nursing a bad case of bad hair day while looking at her phone. "What happened, Sammy? Date got canceled or your hair decided to text you saying today's the day you're having the worse case of bedhead." Dean said while Sam ignored him and tied her hair in a messy bun and re-read the text.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **Hey there, Babydoll. Listen, I'm in town for a few days since this God awful thing happened and I decided to crash your roadtrip with your brother. Where are you and do you want a basket or box full of Willy Wonka's candies?**
> 
>  

 

 

 

It was official.

 

 

When you have an Archangel messaging you with the  _How you do's?_ of life, you know God is laughing somewhere since you lost a bit of your sanity. "You've been staring at your phone, is it bad?" Dean asked while Sam snorted. "If you mean that my friend, the same friend I told you about who has a thing for sweets like you have for sex wants to crash our _supposed_ road trip to hide from an ex that probably wants to end him, yeah, that bad." She said while Dean, a bit suspicious of the guy felt a sliver of pity for the guy.

 

Angry exes were a lot worse than demons on any given occasion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _On our way to Richardson, Texas. Don't forget to bring pie if you want to be on my brother's good side. Trust me, it's better for everyone's sanity._
> 
>  

 

She hit send and groaned. "He's on his way to Richardson, Texas and for the love of all things good, Dean. Please don't fight him, he's fairly decent when he wants to be." Sam knew that the bad blood between Gabriel happened due to Gabriel being the Trickster and a major pain in the ass, she wondered what changed? He was far more, dare she use the word, tame? Underneath all of Gabriel's bravado, he was still the youngest and a child-like thinker with the pranks and all. He was the person in the family that's sick and tired of all the crap and decided to pack up and leave because he can't handle the shit anymore.

 

He tried but evidently, he failed. Gabriel wanted nothing more than to stop it all.

 

 

 

 A family should never end in bloodshed but in this case, one life is equivalent to the millions of innocent people.

 

 

She understood Gabriel because she lived the experienced, the pain and the sorrow.

 

 

Sam faced Gabriel when he was the _Trickster_ , she faced him as the **Mentor** who taught her the most painful lesson of all and that's how to live without her brother, she faced him when he became frustrated at how much she and Dean were denying their destinies... And lastly, she faced Gabriel the _**Archangel** _ who loved his family and his Father's Creations that he died protecting them alongside the brother who redeemed himself, Lucifer.

 

 She knew she had to at least have some dislike or contempt for the Archangel who stuck both Winchester siblings in a time loop and she had to watch Dean die over and over again that it left a psychological dent in her mind but she didn't because she understood that what he did had a reason behind it because underneath his cocky nature and the somewhat  _I Don't Care_ attitude that he's projecting, he was jealous of the bond she had with Dean because if humans could do it then why couldn't they do it? Angels especially Archangels act like a bunch of immature kids since Daddy left home.

 

 

Just because God left Heaven doesn't mean he's not watching over his children.

 

 

 

 Sam sighed deeply and got lost in her own thoughts once more. Dean gave a sideways glance at his sister, the kid he raised was in those moments wherein she was lost and those green hues were deep and dark yet it glistens like emeralds. He honestly blamed Sam for his poetic nature, the damn kid used those puppy eyes of hers to good use and he did well enough to graduate from High School. Sam, Sam... Samantha Evelyn Winchester, his little Sammy that he raised since diaper days was nothing but selfless and kind, smart and his rock.

 

Was it bad that he depended on Sam on everything? Probably.

 

He noticed how she closed her eyes and enjoyed the Highway breeze, her hair was in a gorgeous mess and hummed with whatever was playing while drumming her fingers on her lap. Dean lived for moments like this, just him and Sam in the Impala unto the next gank of the week. They didn't need anything fancy except for a cold beer and just being them but despite these happy moments.

 

Dean knew his sister was hiding things from him and it stung a bit, she always told him that she trusts him inexplicitly with no questions asked but why?

 

He would notice how she slumps as if she was hanging her head in shame or guilt and the bags under her eyes were significantly darker, she would sigh periodically and it was agonizing to see her hang back when they save someone's life, he would take the recognition while she sits idly at the back like an observer. Of course, some people were thankful for Sam as she handles and assesses the situation with ease and the patience of a saint because God knows Dean doesn't have the most tact.

 

 

Why does she act as if she doesn't deserve any credit at all?

 

 

 

 He was pulled from his thoughts as Sam's phone began to ring.

 

 

"Sam Winchester speaking, oh hey- what?" The cordial tone turned to exasperated faster than a minute and Dean noticed how Sam dragged her hand unto her hair and undoing the messy bun. "You have to be joking, don't we have a say in this?" She said almost blankly then the bitchface made its appearance. "Fine, pushy much? I'll see you there." She ended the call and leaned on Dean's shoulder in which the brother raised a brow.

 

"Dean, did I ever tell you how you're the best big brother a girl could have?" He knew something was up. "Spill it, Sammy." Sam noticed how amused Dean was and huffed. "My friend decided to book a place for us there with him and he has pie, lots of pie." She added the sweet cherry on top while Dean sighed so he tilted his head to the side and gave an acknowledgment that he agreed.

 

 

 

 He wouldn't say it out loud but he would do anything for his sister just to see her smile.

 

 

Or for her to be happy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 Hell House and Gabriel.

 

 

Ghost ** _ ~~fakers~~_**. Ghostfacers.

 

 

Gabriel and Dean.

 

 

Hell.

 

 

She was not looking forward to the confrontations because she doesn't have an ounce of patience to deal with two wannabe paranormal investigators who are just going to get one of their friend killed for shreds of evidence that normal civilians shouldn't know because God knows that humans act irrationally when fear is in place. "You alright, Sammy?" Dean exited the bathroom with an eased expression. "Peachy keen, Dean." She replied and took her change of clothing to the bathroom. "Don't bother waiting up, Loki is downstairs, so please  _try_ not to kill each other." She said and shut the door while the older Winchester muttered something incoherent and exited the room.

 

 

Dean was impressed at the amount of luxury the place had, it was a house for rent on the outskirts of town. out of habit, the siblings shared a room in which the host didn't mind but there was a spare room for a just in case situation. This is the type of house that Sammy would've liked, it was homey yet it has this touch of mystery, the walls were colored in a soft pastel brown and covered in books.

 

He wasn't kidding, one look at the living room and Sam was a kid that got her favorite toy during Christmas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>       Sam liked it and if weren't for the fact she needed a shower and rest she would've been cozy on the sofa with a book.

 

 

 

 When Dean went to the kitchen, his nose was assaulted with a delicious odor that he gravitated to the smell and saw a short guy wearing a pink apron that said  _Kiss The Trickster_ and stared, it was rude but the guy was doing some magic in the kitchen because he's having his goddamn Mickey Mouse  _Fantasia_ in the fucking kitchen!

 

 

"What the hell?!"

 

 

"It's anything but hell, Dean-o! My name's Loki, nice to meet Babydoll's beloved brother!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

"So your friend is actually  _the_ Loki?! The Pagan God?" Dean asked incredulously while Sam sighed for what seems like a hundred time. "Yes, Dean. I knew because he gave me pink hair when we had a guessing game and I lost when we were literally several countries away and last time I check, he was in India, do the maths, Dean... No human can travel that fast even if they did have the technology for it, the effects would be evident on their faces while Loki here isn't even remotely tired." She explained calmly while Gabriel liked that about the younger Winchester.

 

Big topics such as your friend is a Pagan God seems like a normal conversation.

 

"And you're okay with this?" Sam wondered how high can Dean raise his voice because he almost sounds like a squirrel. Heh. Squirrel. She hit her head on the marble table with an audible thus where both males took notice. "Dean, I never judged you and I won't start now especially since we're in a _delicate_ situation but so help me God, you even think about ganking one of my decent conversationalist for a friend who is also quite capable of helping us on hunts since he is literally  _ancient_ in human terms thus he has knowledge." How she sounded sarcastically calm and exasperated amused Gabriel further.

 

"Sam- No, absolutely, not, fuck it, Sammy!" Loki saw the younger Winchester raised her but her chin was still on the table and her damp hair framing her face, her eyes were impossibly wide-eyed and teary like a green-eyed puppy accompanied with those pouty lips. Even Gabriel had to applaud the girl for utilizing the gifts given to her so he decided to help her out by adding ears and a tail.

 

 

"You're not helping your case," Dean growled at the shorter man while Loki just stood beside Sam and patted her head. "Oh I wasn't helping my case but Babydoll here which is quite adorable and effective, very crafty, young padawan." He commented while Sam aimed a dimple smiled at the praise and the imaginary tail began to wag that Dean knew he lost the case.

 

"But seriously, Sammy. First, you have the two Vampire kids. Second, you talked with the Werewolf that was munching people out of revenge to just stop because it wasn't worth becoming what they thought he was and now this, your Friends with a Pagan God." It was a cruel thing to do but Sam rarely had the opportunity to see the look of surprise her brother had. "It could be worse, Dean for you know I might go on a date with Lucifer just for kicks." Gabriel could see the humor in that and smirked seeing how the older Winchester paled considerably.

 

"No, absolutely, not."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Meeting the two Paranormal Investigators, Ed and Harry are exactly how she imagined them to be, annoying.

 

 

Except they had Gabriel with them making the situation even more ridiculous because even he found it annoying which was surprising and she even let out a snort of amusement at the entire ordeal, God was watching this with a bottle of scotch beside him and laughing, she was sure of it. "Is something funny about this? Oh, you're making fun of us now, missy?" Ed was honestly making this worse for him and Harry.

 

"If you mean at how you basically tried to do an EMF reading when there's still juice in the transformer over there thus making your reading invalid or the fact that you're using equipment that can hardly pick up anything except the snot and pimples on your faces?" She said dryly while the two guys reached for some sort of mirror to check anything on their faces while Dean and Gabriel smirked.

 

"Babydoll, you're awesome." He gave her a wink while she nodded and Dean gave her a nudge. 

 

"Dean, take a look at that symbol, doesn't it look familiar?" She said while Dean nodded. "Does it rhyme with the Record Shop and Craig?" Sam decided to save them the time and took out their Dad's journal from the small book bag she always keeps with her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> ###  ** 1993 May 15 [ ](http://supernatural.wikia.com/wiki/Tulpa:_Tibetan_Spirit_Sigil?action=edit&section=3) **
> 
> _Tulpas created through intense ritual visualizations are known as dubthab. Variation known as dragpoi dubthab is specifically aimed at creating a thought-form with the idea of harming another person. The physical form of tulpas becomes apparent to the senses after the mind can begin to sense its spirit presence. Tulpas that are created, no matter the creator's intent, will gradually turn on the creator. Evans-Wentz wrote that enlightened magicians can destroy tulpas as easily as they can create them; also that those masters can incorporate their spiritual being into the body of another person. It's about the willpower._

 

 

"It does make sense since Mordechai Murdoch's M.O keeps changing, your thoughts, Loki?" She asked the quite Pagan God. "These things are tough fuckers to kill and since Dumbo One and Two used the internet to spread it, taking the sigil off is hardly gonna do anything, you gotta burn the place down." Helpful Gabriel was putting Sam in some sort of weird place but she didn't say it was bad, it was just odd.

 

"Well there's enough flammable things in the basement, come on, Sammy, we got to make it look it something got short-fused." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

It was too good to be in the same reality because it felt like a dream.

 

 

 

This was too good to be a dream because this is a very unfamiliar Gabriel, she was walking on a territory she didn't know how to approach, was it bad that all she keeps dreaming was Gabriel now? The cocky Archangel was still the same but something about him was different and she couldn't place it...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _"You know, Samsquatch... You'd be much more delicious with a smile than that bitchface." Sam groaned as he tried to ignore the annoying Archangel perched on the counter sucking a lollipop. "I've sucked bigger thing, kiddo~"  Great, now he has nightmares. "Don't be like that~" Sam just sighed and finally gave his attention to the Archangel that's been bothering him for the past few minutes._
> 
>  
> 
> _"Yes, Gabriel?"  He asked in a deapanned tone while the Trickster merely smiled deviously at him_
> 
>  
> 
> _He felt felt dread pool in his stomach._
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**(Author's Note: If you really want to get the feel of this conversation between Gabriel and Sam, I highly recommend that you listen to this song because it made me tear up as I was writing this part.)**

 

 

 

> **[Dear Me by Nicole Nordeman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGfawtmZBbk) **
> 
>  

 

 

Sam remembered how that ended and it was anything but pleasant. "Something on your mind, Babydoll?" Speak of the devil, she was sitting outside out on the patio with a bag of marshmallows, graham crackers, a bar of chocolate and a plate. "If I said I'm okay, would you believe that?" She asked while he snorted and sat beside her and snatched a piece of the newly cooked smores. 

 

 

"Now the truth, Samshine. What's bothering that pretty little noggin of yours?" She took a nimble bite out of her smores. "You already know that my brother and I are searching for our Dad since he found this lead about the demon that killed our Mother and how my abilities started to manifest and..." She was afraid to tell the Archangel because she didn't know how he'd react, she was afraid to lose something close to Heaven because he's the closest thing she knew she could come close to peace and Paradise.

 

Gabriel noticed how Sam clammed up and how she looked like what she did at the park they met.

 

"Sam?" He asked tentatively and the girl just buried her face in her knees, she was hyperventilating. He sighed and used a little amount of grace as he soothed the girl who was obviously suffering from something, he patted her head. It made his own heart ached to see a pure soul suffering, a soul young as a fledging suffer from a baggage that they didn't need to bear. "Oh, Sam..." He said softly as cleared the clutter and embraced the girl.

 

She stiffened at first then slowly relaxed into his embrace. "Why are you so kind to me, Loki?" She asked hoarsely and Gabriel sighed. "I honestly wish I have an answer for that but I know that you don't deserve tears, Sam. I am not a nice person, I punish those who deserve it. Sam, I don't know what you're going through but I can say, you don't deserve to cry, you are one in a million and seeing it suffer isn't just." He said while Sam gave a humorless laugh.

 

 

"You're speaking to the same girl who brought her own Mother's demise, the same girl who robbed a husband of his wife and child of his Mother and his chance of normalcy. The very same girl with  _demon blood_ running in her veins, I'm an **abomination** , Loki... I deserve every bit of suffering-" She was abruptly stopped when she lost her voice or was muted then she found herself facing the thunderous expression that only an Archangel is capable of and it shocked her from her stupor.

 

 

 "Is that what _you_ think, Sam Winchester? You deserve something that you _never_ consented to, kiddo, you hardly see the worth you have because of something you don't exactly have control over. Sam, I'm telling you this once and you better remember this, you **deserve** Paradise like every other soul who fought selflessly and you are kind, Sam, you are very kind that you would risk everything for your family and trust me when I say, you put some celestial beings to shame by staying with your family and fighting for them rather than fighting against them. You are courageous, you are brave and you are loved so unconditionally that you give them strength as they do the same to you. How many people do you think will risk their own lives to protect their family even if they are just half-blood, you shouldn't care yet you did and you risked your own life by taking care of those ghouls for Adam and Kate, what about your friends? The Harvelles and your Uncle, you would let wounds and scars cover you black, blue and red just to protect them."

 

Gabriel was making it hard for Sam to find a reason to tell him how wrong he was.

 

"You spared creatures that other Hunters taught or told you to kill on sight, you gave them a chance that no sane Hunter would do. You gave them the faith they have lost and hope that there are people out there who are kind enough to understand, to help them. Do you not see how one act of kindness goes a long way? It started small, Sam but other people are doing it because of _you_ so don't sell yourself short, kiddo. People will cry for you, people will miss you dearly should you fade and if you fall, these people will catch you and remind you that you are **_worth it_** , Sam."

 

She buried her head in Gabriel's neck.

 

 

 

 

She didn't want him to see how much his words affected her but she was lying to herself if she thought she could hide it from him. "I'm here, Babydoll, I'm here..." Gabriel looked up and saw the worried gaze of a certain green-eyed freckled Winchester brother. Dean felt like he intruded something so personal and sacred but his duty as Sam's older brother stopped him from leaving so he took a step forward, he didn't care if Sam had demon blood, he didn't care about the loss of normalcy or the apple pie life because that life would seem incomplete without Sam.

 

 

What he did care about was how Sam saw herself, his little angel was suffering and he knew Loki felt his own inner turmoil.

 

Gabriel motioned the brother to come close and he did, he sat an inch away from Sam, afraid of her reaction to his intrusion that he was surprised when got latched on by the same brunette who was like a leech to the Trickster a few seconds ago. "Sammy... Did I ever tell you how happy I was when I found out I was going to be a big brother? I was like a damn hyperactive puppy going back and forth the nursery, to Mom's stomach and baby-proofing the house. I was making sure the house was safe for you and when I first saw you through the viewing glass, you put that tiny hand on the glass as you saw me and I felt happy that I boasted it for weeks, Dad had to bribe me to shut up. When you came home, the first time I ever held you, you clung to me with an iron grip that I panicked since I didn't know how to hold you properly but thank God, you fell asleep so Mom took you while Dad was giving me advice on how to hold you properly." Sam made a sigh while Dean ran a hand through her hair.

 

"You weren't fussy as a baby so Mom and Dad were thankful, they would call you their little Angel. You were happy when you were cuddled, when Dad was feeding you or Mom was singing you a lullaby or when I was reading you a storybook. You would curl up next to me when you were having a bad dream and all I would do is pull you closer then you'd calm down and when you started babbling, Mom and Dad would always coo when you called me De. You made every day happy for all of us... Even when Mom was gone, you held us close and kept us safe, you're our angel, Sammy." He said as sincere as he could and just held his sister.

 

 

He was afraid that if he let go, she might fall.

 

 

Gabriel watched how Dean eased his sister, he watched how the older brother eased the suffering of his sibling and he wondered was this how Michael and Lucifer were before Raphael and he came, were they this close? He sighed and stood up then stood before the two, he was at a lost. These two are supposed to start the Apocalypse because it was their Father's will as Michael puts it but when he looks at the two human beings, he felt protective of them especially for Sam.

 

She didn't want this and neither did Dean.

 

But Heaven and Hell need their key players to start the end of the world.

 

 

 

But he knew whatever was thrown at their way these two would survive because their bond was strong and the question is, where does he stand?

 

 

 

Will he flee or fight?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Our Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry # 8
> 
> I lost it, a complete and utter breakdown due to stress and lack of sleep. I can't deny that it was nice that an Archangel of all people said that I deserved Heaven and Dean, the normally emotional constipated brother pulled it together and just...
> 
> He just became my rock, I can't deny it. This unhealthy codependence is going to bite me in the ass because I can't help it, I need my brother and my brother needs me.
> 
> And Gabriel, he was different but I can't deny that underneath all of his glam... He's nice.
> 
>  
> 
> I know I'm being selfish but we decided to stay just for one more day, I know that time is running out for me but dear God, let me enjoy being Sam Winchester before I play the role you need me to play.
> 
> \- S. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mentions of Attempted Rape and Bullying
> 
>  Extra Long Chapter!
> 
> With the previous bittersweet chapter, I'm going for a Chapter with Gabriel and Sam with a hint of Dean, I love these two together and it's not just their dynamic, I like the chemistry between them. How Gabriel is this cool suave eccentric guy and Sam is this awkward moose with the cute personality. 
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> You can't deny how Gabriel brings out the best in Sam and vice versa.
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> 1k hits, I love you guys. Continue on supporting this until the end, keep those Kudos and Comments coming, I value your opinions in helping this story progress.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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>  _Take a look past our innocence,_
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>  _take a step back to yesterday_  
>  _When life would move slower,_
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>  _we would never grow up_  
>  _All we knew that love was for when we're older_
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>  _Anything could happen, secretly imagine_  
>  _They could never tear us apart_
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>  _too young to fall_
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>  _This is our story that we could take back some day_
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>  _Our lonely glory that we could get back they say_
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>  _This is our story that we could get back some day_
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>  _Our hope if only that we could take back someday_
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>  ** _-[Our Story by Mako](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxLj18sK79M)_**
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Warmth.

 

That was the first sensation she felt when she woke up and it felt safe that she was blanketed with such that it felt overwhelming then there was something on her head, a hand on her head when she heard a sigh to the side, she tried to blink away the blurriness and saw those whiskey shot eyes staring back at her. Gabriel was sitting on a chair with his hand on her head. "Don't tell me you stayed there all night?" She asked softly so she wouldn't wake Dean, who acted as her pillow and blanket.

 

Gabriel merely hummed. "Don't flatter yourself, kiddo, kidding. You were having a nightmare and Dean-O here decided to be the world's biggest brother by being a teddy bear and started to hum you a song. You calmed down a bit but you were still struggling so I decided to help out, quite a nightmare there, Babydoll." He said and while Sam felt thankful, she also felt bad that she caused this trouble. Gabriel must have noticed her expression and snapped his fingers, she found herself seated on his lap while there was a big body pillow that replaced her spot at Dean's side.

 

And he lifted her.

 

 

She did **not** squeak, she swears it.

 

 

 But the smirk on Gabriel's face indicated that he won't be letting this go anytime soon.

 

 

 

 

Sam found it funny that a guy who is five foot six or was it seven? Was carrying her with such ease and she was five foot ten! If anyone saw them now it's a ridiculous sight but she just sighed and laid her head on his shoulder, she couldn't fathom how she ended in Gabriel's arms in all of the places, out of all the people, Gabriel caught her... What did she do to deserve this? She wasn't Dean, she wasn't the Righteous Man by a stretch.

 

She was nothing compared to her brother.

 

 

Gabriel took a glance at the woman in his arms who was lost in her thought. Her soul is beautiful, it was bright and pure that reflected her physical look. 

 

 

How come that this beautiful soul sees herself as lowly when she walks into a room, even he could see something in her, the aura alone was magnetizing. Father above, he noticed that everything about Sam is perfect and by human standards, she would make those models seethe in envy and she wasn't even trying! It was infuriating, what did she ever do to deserve this?

 

They were outside.

 

 

Back where the bonfire is lit and the stars were shining like a thousand diamonds. "What time is it?" She asked while Gabriel placed her on the blanketed ground that just appeared and he sat behind her, she stiffened at first but relaxed soon after. "It's 5:30 AM and the sunrise is a few minutes away." They sat in silence and Sam was confused, scared and lost because this was unfamiliar.

 

This was a Gabriel that she never experienced. "Relax Babydoll, I won't do anything to you unless you beg me to." Despite her initial feelings, she deadpanned at the flirty Archangel and she thought Balthazar was bad, Gabriel was on a whole new level. "Sam, I don't know what to do to let you see or feel that you are anything but an abomination. Don't think I can't see it in your eyes, you have to find it in yourself that you are _special_ Sam, you have to learn to accept the good things that come in your way don't let those bad things rule you, you are very beautiful, Babydoll, seeing you beat yourself up would make an angel cry." He said sincerely and Sam felt something hard lodged in her heart and throat.

 

Why was it so hard to accept his words?

 

 

Right. If he only knew the past, the past she lived and fucked up constantly. 

 

 

Then she felt something cover her. "Close your eyes, Babydoll." He said softly while she did so, she listened intently and she heard his heartbeat, it was loud.  _'What's he nervous about?'_ She thought and there was another rustle, the familiar rustle of feathers and she jerked a bit in surprise because Gabriel was wrapping his wings around her! The warmth of being covered by an angel's wings, Archangel's wings was something else.

 

 It felt intimate.

 

Safe. Protected and Loved.

 

Those were the emotions swirling inside of her. "Just relax, Sam...If I can't get through to you by saying it then I'm going for option two." He said and it was divine, he was doing something and it was like someone was pouring warm water unto her cold and tainted soul, she felt those torn pieces mend with those hands piecing it delicately and he was murmuring something in her ear, it was the same as what Castiel has spoken to her before, in old Enochian.

 

But somehow she understood what he said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _"Beloved daughter whose heart is pure and bright, your heart is shadowed with grief and plight. Take your worries to the sky as I lift you high, let your sorrows go and let your tears dry for someone so beloved as you to suffer, the blue sky dims and the gray clouds cover the land with darkness. Let me lift your sorrow, beloved daughter of the Father, let the gray clouds part to show the sun once more upon the lands."_

 

 

 

 

It was beautiful.

 

 

 

Every word spoken was beautiful even though she understood it in plain English, Gabriel uttered every syllable in the perfect Enochian dialect was soothing, it was lyrical and harmonious that even her soul sang with glee and for the first time in this new life, she slowly accepted the healing he was giving to her because she let go of the fears and doubts that ruled over her.

 

For this brief moment, before the Hell starts, she'll allow this.

 

 

Gabriel smiled as Sam gradually relaxed and he felt relieved that she has her eyes closed, she didn't even attempt to open her eyes and she accepted the peace he had to offer. He knew he took a big risk by materializing his wings for just one human being, his decades of secrets laid bare before her yet she didn't ask...

 

 

 "You gave me peace, my friend, I won't ask you to tell me anything because I'm better off not knowing but if you need someone to be your friend, I'm here just as you are here for me."

 

 

They let the embrace linger for a while and before Gabriel retracted his wings, he plucked one golden feather from it and he let his wings return to the place where it was hidden. He then snapped his fingers and formed a Triquetra Dreamcatcher Feather, he even etched protective sigils around it and the wing itself has a few diamond studs but he's sure Sam won't make a fuss about it much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>     "Perfect," He said and secure the necklace on Sam's neck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 "You can open your eyes now, Babydoll." Feeling a bit languid was expected and it Sam a while to function normally and her eyes landed on the necklace she felt that was placed on her. "You know you didn't have to do this..."She said while Gabriel just ruffled her already bird nest of a hair. "I know but I wanted to..." After a few minutes, they both stood up and watched as the sky slowly turned into an array of colors signifying a new day.

 

"Let's go make some breakfast before your brother goes Hulk on us."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Making breakfast was surprisingly calm.

 

 

 

 

 That's what Sam thought as Gabriel taught her how to cook the dishes he collected over the years and it was absolutely... Domestic. "Any idea when your brother is going to wake up?" He asked as he was adding the finishing touch to the breakfast feast. "I'll go and wake up him, no worries." She flashed him a smile and headed out towards the room where she shared with Dean. 

 

She hummed a simple song and let her mind wander.

 

 

Gabriel was something else entirely, she knew she was repetitive with that thought but it was a reoccurring thought that never leaves because she never had an answer. It wasn't anything bad but what scares her the most, what if he grows tired and promptly disappears, she lightly slapped her cheek to wake up from the spiraling dark thought before she gets consumed by it. When she got to the door, she opened it as silently and took a peek only to see Dean drying off.

 

 

"Morning, Dean." She mused as she saw Dean jumped in shock. "Christ, Sammy! Make a noise would you." He grumbled while Sam closed the door behind her and chuckled. "Breakfast is ready, get it while it's hot while I clean up." She said as she took her necessity bag and a spare towel from the closet but before she entered the bathroom.

 

"Dean?"

 

 

"What is it, Sammy?" 

 

 

 Dean was surprised at first but when his mind registered what was happening, he smiled even without Sam seeing it. His sister was pressed behind his bare back and her arms wrapped behind him, he felt her soft breathing on his bare back and he tilted his head back and they stayed like that for a while...

 

"Take a bath, bitch, you stink.

 

 

"Whatever, jerk."

 

 

They were both smiling as the door closed behind Sam.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> _**"The way you two keep sacrificng yourself for each other, nothing good comes out of it... just blood and pain..."** _

 

 

 

Those words echoed in her mind as the warm water cascaded down her body, she wanted to deny Gabriel's words or tell him that they tried so hard to prevent it from happening but she can't because that Gabriel is dead alongside his brothers instead, she has this Gabriel...

 

She had to be careful because she almost slipped.

 

Sam closed her eyes and sighed contentedly as those waters helped to wash away the stress...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just forget for now.....

 

_For now._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _'Dear God, this is Sam Winchester... again. I want to say thank you for sending Gabriel but I wonder, why him of all Angels? Why is he different or is he normally like this? I'm honestly confused but I won't ask or force answers... I'm asking for strength, for patience... You and I both know what's going to happen soon and all I ask is for everyone that I care and love about to be protected. I pray that they find it in their hearts to forgive me.'_
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When she was done, she toweled herself and for the first time in a long time...

 

She took a good long look at what Gabriel sees or deems as _Beautiful_. She looks alright from her perspective, her hair is long and her skin is lightly tanned due to being outside often but her eyes, they weren't brown anymore but bright green with golden specs, it seems so unrealistic because those golden reminded her of the familiar necklace hanging around her neck. Her body shape wasn't petite as before since now it had a bit of an athletic side that was fit for a Hunter, slim and lean with enough mass.

 

After she ogled herself.

 

Sam wore her standards underneath, well, as far as every male in her family knows she's a simple girl but like in her first life, underwear is something a thrift shop cannot be shopped at due to so many hygienic reasons, it made her shiver to think of using it and as much as Walmart has the cheap stuff, she couldn't accept that it won't last long because usually cheap things in a hunter's lifestyle usually never last and the amount of time they change in a day was staggering.

 

 

 

It might be a little petty but this was one of the few luxuries she allows herself without feeling guilty.

 

Silk and Lace.

 

 

 

God, she was such a girl.

 

 

 

 

 

She deadpanned.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 She just outed herself. Great.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dean and Loki were locked in a serious staredown.

 

 

"I don't know what your intentions are but if you harm her, will find a way to gank you, Pagan God or not." He said while Gabriel would normally tell him off with his flippant attitude but he also added in his mind that this was the very person who was supposed to be his older brother's vessel but that was a minor reason for him, the major reason was this was the very person who raised sweet little Samshine, this uncouth, brutish womanizer with an alcoholic stint a mile long but he raised Sam, the well-mannered and sweet sacrificing Sam.

 

 

"What if I told you that I cleared the demon blood from her veins, Dean-O? Still going to gank me?" He snapped a bit and that instantly shut the tyrannical litany that Dean had. "Y-you did what? Why?" Dean was a little lost but grateful nonetheless because the very thing eating Sam up was gone but he still didn't understand why Loki did it in the first place, what was his angle in all of this? There are so many questions and he's getting frustrated because every turn ends up as a dead end and what he needs is an answer, not another damn riddle.

 

"Listen here, Dean Winchester. You sister, Sam, she's special and not just the special because she's nice and giving but her soul is like a mini-Sun. It's pure and bright along with that she has a mental block that even I can't breach. Do you have any idea how close her soul was dimming faster like a blown candle and why? Here's why... She keeps beating herself up for things she has no control over and when that happens, she takes punches for you and everyone she loves because she thinks she deserves it, do you have any idea why would she do this?" He asked inquisitively at the freckled man while Dean scrutinized a bit and dug deep in his mind for any event or memory...

 

It hit him.

 

 

"Sam... She always blamed herself for our Mom's death and when she hit 22, her... abilities started to manifest that every night she keeps seeing people die, people who she could've saved if only we'd gotten there on time but she knows the motto...  _You can't save everybody but you can try to save as many as you can_ and that kid takes it at heart but that's just not it, it's the Yellow-Eyed Fucker... Sam remembers exactly what happened in her nursery and how Yellow-Eyed killed our Mother right in front of her... I don't know whether it's the demon blood or not but Sam has a photographic memory." He said solemnly and Gabriel cursed mentally because people who have Photographic memories usually have advantageous opportunities but in Sam's part.

 

She lives a Hunter life, a life of death, loss, and suffering.

 

 

She lives another day only to relive it mentally.

 

 

 

"Before I cleared the demon blood from her veins, she has this powerful mental block that keeps anything in and even when I cleared the demon blood the block is there kicking, it's a kudo for her against the things you fight because they won't know what she's thinking but you, your Sam's Achilles heel. All those beings have to do is crack your pretty little head like a can of sardine, dear little Samshine is going to spill the beans faster than you can say Hell." Gabriel told him bluntly while Dean looked horrified thinking of the prospect of torture but what amazed the Archangel in hiding that Dean thought of what might happen to his sister's mental well-being.

 

"It's not like I don't give a damn about myself, I do, it's just Sam... Think about it, Sam remembers _everything_ and she can't forget about it even if she tries." Gabriel watched the older Winchester clenched his teeth and sighed aggravatingly and seeing his eyes darkened meant there was a point in Sam's life where she had to go through something horrific and he took a peek at Dean's mind and sorely regretted it.

 

 

 

 

Sam was almost raped.

 

 

He's seeing what Dean is seeing and feeling, the unadulterated and unconquerable storming rage at seeing the vulnerability, the broken and shamed look that should never befall on someone so... Someone that never deserved such a bitter life but Fate just had to be a _bitch_...

 

"If you read my mind then you'd know why..." Gabriel nodded while Dean's expression morphed into disgust. "The fucker, after what Sam did for him, she helped him and he screwed it up by obsessing over her and like the polite kid she is, she turned him down nicely but that was a slap to him. Fucker didn't know that no mean _**NO**_ so decided to wreck Sam's reputation by spreading that she's a slut and it took a lot of convincing on Sam's part because I didn't care if I commit murder on the spot but she did..." Gabriel didn't wisely comment because even he was disgusted by the concept of rape and putting Sam and that word together was blasphemy in his book.

 

 

He poured a decent amount of Scotch in the mug that was half-filled with coffee and passed it to Dean, who nodded thanks. "Sam, I was so proud of the kid because she held her head up high even when those kids vandalized her locker, writing shit and leaving shit in it, she cleaned it right and moved on with her life because she keeps telling me that it wasn't worth it and to tell you the truth, Sam aspired every kid who was bullied by being better than those immature brats. Those teachers didn't do jack squat because they're riding on green dough but by some God-given miracle, they stopped because Sam proved to them that she wasn't as what the rumor pool claimed her to be." What Dean and Gabriel didn't know was that God really did intervene for Sam's sake because the stress of being a Hunter, student, and bullying was taking a toll on her.

 

 

 

"The fucker was at lost since his plan of ruining Sam's reputation was didn't do jack so he resorted to something much more fucked up but what he didn't expect that Sam has the tendency to turn heads and people notice her when she walks in the room, she was too nice to turn down a friend of hers to go to a party and if anything, she begged me to come with her because she can't stand to do it alone. After a few hours, she texted me that she wanted to go home and I waited by the car and I started to get worried, Sam would usually be out like a bat out of hell..." The smaller man didn't need to read Dean's mind because of the expression on his was evident on his face.

 

 

 

 

 

He was angry at himself and the regret was pouring out like a waterfall.

 

 

"If I'd only gotten there sooner, he hit Sam when she was alone and dragged her to one of the rooms... If weren't for one of the worried bystanders, Sam was a head-turner and when she was in the arms of the person who called her a slut and unconscious was alarming and it was known in the entire school that I was protective of her and if anything major or minor happened to her, her hellhound of a brother is on his way and trust me, the party was something no one would ever forget. The fucker was almost dead and trust me when I say that the entire student body heard of what he did to the Sweet Angel of Vanderviere Private Academy of South Dakota, the football team had a new punching bag." Gabriel filed the person in his mind for later as well as the others who decided to make Samshine's life hell.

 

 

They were both silent, a heavy topic in the morning was a mood dampener but something popped in Gabriel's mind. "Babydoll has a trouble of seeing herself as a pretty girl... I was wondering..." Dean raised a brow at the Pagan God who embodies Mischief and Lies. "How about a shopping day with the credit cards of every person who decided to made her life Hell?" He said with a saccharine smile while Dean mirrored Gabriel's mischievous smile.

 

 

"Anything and everything?" He asked while Gabriel snapped his fingers and a pile of platinum, golden and sleek black credit cards appeared.

 

 

 

"Buy something nice for yourself too, Dean-O and on another thought... How do you feel about going to Paris? I heard they have great sales today."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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 Shopping.

 

 

How the ever bloody hell did she find herself in a clearly expensive Tailoring shop with Gabriel and Dean in Paris... I mean she can see Gabriel doing this for the Hell of it but Dean? " _Oui_ ~ Mademoiselle, such a pretty face, so many styles would fit you!" She had a personal shopper or clerk? The woman with her was enthusiastic as clothes came pouring in and she felt like Barbie, trying everything and her audience was a few of the shop ladies who was commenting things in French but she guessed from the tone, it was positive and when certain... exotic styles came out they were ruled out, she thanked Dean for that.

 

 

"What did you do to my brother for him to agree to do shopping of all things?" When she had the chance to ask Gabriel who just smiled. "We just agreed that you need some things to enhance your prettiness, Samshine!" She was a little dubious but knowing Gabriel, he was allergic to straight answers like Dean.

 

Speaking of her brother.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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He came out of the changing room in a clean crisp dark blue almost black possibly navy blue suit with his collar undone and it suited him nicely. Gabriel gave a wolf whistle and a few of the ladies blushed because Dean looked stunning. "Do I look alright?" He asked a bit uncertain and his green eyes were on Sam, she knew had the unconscious habit of using the puppy look especially when he's insecure or uncertain. "Dean, you look... Wow, it suits you." One of the French ladies leaned towards Gabriel and whispered something and they both giggled.

 

Gabriel had to admit, if these two weren't related they'd make a fetching couple.

 

"Sam, back to the stall, Mademoiselle Clarisse here picked something special for you." The woman in question sighed and obeyed even if she eyed the green fabric with a hint of suspicion. "Ah, don't worry, Mademoiselle, this dress would bring your eyes out more!" Clarisse said and helped Sam into the dress which seemed alright...

 

She didn't know how alright seemed lacking.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> _Elegant Emerald Green Off-The-Shoulder Side Split Chiffon Dress_

 

 

 

Gorgeous.

 

 

Dean and Gabriel had to admit that seeing Sam in a dress was a great look for her, even the ladies around them agreed. The woman in question already turns head with her presences and with a clothing to match, her magnetic pull was stronger, if only she saw herself in a better light then it'll make the look complete. "You have to add that to the bag," Dean said while Gabriel nodded. "Already ahead of you." He gave a signal to Clarisse that he wanted the dress.

 

"Dress number two!" 

 

 

"Seriously, how many dressed do I have to try on?"

 

"As many as you can, Sammy!"

 

 

"Clarisse, was it?" Dean flashed her a good-hearted smile that made the woman blush. " _Oui, monsieur?_ " She asked and Dean whispered softly so Sam couldn't hear what they were talking about. "Can you find something sexy for her? Nothing too flashy but something that suits her." He asked while Clarisse nodded happily. "I have a dress in mind for the kind _Mademoiselle_ , no worries, _Monsieur_." She assured him and disappeared to another section.

 

In a few minutes, Clarisse came back with a black dress and entered Sam's stall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Long-Sleeve Lace Dave and Johnny Short Prom Dress_
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Dean was sure that Sam could be a model if she wanted to.

 

Another was added to the bag and then next came in the sea of feminine clothing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Cream Trench with Black Denim Jeans, Black Polo, and Sleek Leather Chelsea Boots_

 

     _Black Off Shoulder Bodycon Dress_

 

 __ _Formal Pant Suits for Women Business Suits Formal Office Suits Work Black Blazer Ladies Office Uniform Styles OL Pantsuits_

 

 

 

 

They even got a few plaid shirts, jeans, boots and a few more... And in the end, they got more than what they needed but the scheming duo wasn't done they dropped Sam off at a Spa... "Oh, you guys have to be joking..." She bemoaned but they waved her off. "Don't worry, Babydoll, you're in good hands so let those professionals do their job." They didn't tell Sam where they were going exactly going so that the woman wouldn't go after them.

 

"No offense, Loki but Sam isn't the accessory type besides the necklace you gave her." Dean noticed it but didn't comment anything but Gabriel waved him off. "All those clothes need some accessories, Dean-O and as much as I want to agree with you, Samshine is stubborn and tomboyish in nature but that doesn't mean that a deep part of her wants to be pretty and dressed up." He said casually while Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine, Sam has an eye for Dreamcatchers, pentagrams, wings and her birthstone." He relinquished the information while Gabriel flashed him a 100-megawatt smile.

 

"I'll handle the accessories, there's a weapon store two shops down, go wild, kiddo!" He gave Dean several cards and the Hunter nodded.

 

 

 

When Gabriel entered the shop who looked elegant in its own way on the outside but the inside was different and he knew the owner was something else and very familiar...

 

" _Bonjour, Monsieur_ , how may I help you?" _An alchemist_. He thought and smiled at the man who shared his smile. "I'm looking for Dreamcatchers jewelry or any jewelry with wing-like designs, pentagrams, and emeralds." He said straight to the point while the man nodded and went to the back room and emerged several minutes later with a few boxes.

 

 A very familiar face.

 

 

 

   

 

 

  

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

Eight pieces were picked under intense scrutiny.

 

"The lucky mademoiselle must be very special that you've picked ones with _add-ons_ , _Monsieur_ Gabriel." The older man said and his eyes twinkled in mirth seeing the celestial being in front of him squirm. "Shush! I don't want anyone to know." He whispered harshly while the man gave a good chuckle. "After all these years, you doubt my own security measures, I value **all** of my customer's privacy." He replied while Gabriel pouted. "You can't really blame me because these are for the woman whose soul is pure and bright like big brother Lucifer before he fell and she is _his_ true vessel, after all, Nicholas." He said solemnly while the old man's eyes widened in surprise.

 

"It is true then?  _Mademoiselle_ Samantha Winchester is Lucifer's vessel?" Gabriel hissed while the old man raised his hands in a surrender position. "How on Father's name did you find out much less travel here?" He asked while Nicholas, as old as he was, was also very cautious of the celestial beings especially one that is in front of him.

 

"Witches that serve under demons have been congregating all over the world, the Yellow-Eyed demon called Azazel has been announcing that the _Girl Queen of Hell_ will ascend to her throne soon and she will seat by the Morningstar's side and they will shine bright and baptize the lands in fire and those who serve under him will be saved from the purge," Nicholas said in a terrified tone while Gabriel shook his head. "Sam is far from what the bastard is preaching, she is kind and she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. Azazel wants nothing more than to corrupt her pure soul." Gabriel seethed at the prospect of someone dictating the fate of another being who has the capacity of thought.

 

 

"I will bring Sam here and you will tell everything alongside her brother, Dean." 

 

 

 

 

Because it was the right thing to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

Mortification.

 

 

Sam was speechless when the old man named Nicholas, an alchemist, told her what's going on in the Supernatural rumor pool. "Wait, vessel? Girl Queen of Hell? The Apocalypse?" Dean asked the man while Nicholas explained that Lucifer is still an Archangel and Angels need consent before they occupy a vessel, unlike demons. "You're telling me those Halo wearing cloud sitting and harper playing winged beings exits?" Sam wisely didn't look at Gabriel but if she did, she would've seen the major eye twitch.

 

"Dean, I think it's wise not to insult them if any of those Lores were right, they could hear you and smite you on the spot." She chastised her brother while he scowled because he did, in fact, know a few Angel Lores. "Monsieur Nicholas, thank you for telling us this because it will help us greatly to be cautious of future manipulations." She said sincerely while she felt faint.

 

 

This never happened back before, what is God planning?

 

 

 

The Boy King of Hell is now The Girl Queen of Hell.

 

 

 

Gabriel noticed how terrified the younger Winchester looked and frankly, she was ready to faint so he appeared beside her while Dean was ready to catch her if she did in fact faint. "Sam, you are not what Azazel claims you to be because unlike what that demon says, you would save lives then let them burn." He tried to soothe her while Dean nodded. "Remember Sammy, this fucker is twisted and delusional, look what he did to you, to our family. Imagine that he's been doing it for years now, we have to do what we do best." He said while Sam looked at brother and collected her thoughts and nodded.

 

"We gank him because if he bleeds then he can die."

 

 

Nicholas is fascinated.

 

The very woman who was told that the very demon who murdered her Mother was telling every witch that she is the Queen of Hell, the woman was ready to faint but pulled herself together when her brother reeled her back in, he can feel that these two are a force to reckon with. 

 

But something that Dean said struck a chord in her.

 

 

Azazel has been doing this for years now and there are probably hundreds of his Special Children by now and if her hypothesis is correct, those kids hate him for forcing them into a life they never wanted, to be wrenched away from their own families and to be infected with something they never wished or consented to...

 

"Then we need information about Angels because we already have sufficient information for the Demons." She said while Dean raised a brow. "Sufficient?" He echoed while she rolled his eyes at his skepticism. "We know how to send them back to Hell and trap them but do we have a way of actually killing them?" She asked while Dean was stumped.

 

"If I may, _Mademoiselle_ Samantha?" Nicholas asked and the woman looked at the old man before them. "I know a Weapon Smith, a friend of mine who specializes in killing demons but he lives in Kyoto, Japan in seclusion, up in the mountain tops and you'll know it's him, that man loves monkeys." He said as he scrunched up his nose in disgust. "Just Sam would be fine, sir and thank you for the information, we don't know how to thank you enough." She said kindly while Nicholas merely patted her head in a grandfather like fashion.

 

"Non-sense! A true gentleman always treats a woman like a lady, you can ask this  _garnement_ before I met him, _Oui~_ , his manners could make a saint weep at how atrocious it was." Nicholas waved when Gabriel squawked indignantly. "I am not a brat and I was the definition of an angel, old coot." He shot back while Sam giggled because she knew that it was a pun intended.

 

"That's a beautiful piece you have here, _Mademoiselle_ , if I may?" Nicholas saw the golden necklace around her neck then shot Gabriel a knowing look then laughed seeing the reddening face of the Archangel. "Quite the protective sigils but as diamonds are pretty they represent in the Greek culture that diamonds were tears of the gods; the Romans believed they were splinters of fallen stars and that they brought courage and bravery during battle but today, diamonds are used to symbolize **eternity** and  **love** , being often seen adorning engagement rings." It took Sam to process it and blushed while Dean scowled at the Pagan God.

 

 

"Do you have any idea on how to ward off Pagan Gods from courting my sister?" 

 

"Dean!" 

 

Nicholas gave a hearty laugh seeing how the older brother stood over his sister and looked at the Pagan God with the typical  _Stay-Away-From-My-Sister_ and it gave Nicholas a sense of nostalgia then something hit him, there was a certain piece locked in his vault, a certain set that picks its owner.

 

"Excuse me for a bit." He bowed to his guests and disappeared to the back room, there was a secret passageway that led to his workshop and within his workshop was various vials and chemicals as well as herbs that lay in a disorderly fashion but that was bypassed because Nicholas headed towards the vault sealed with various protective sigils lies one of his greatest creations from the famed Philosopher's Stone and the rumored Morningstar.

 

 

 

 

  

_Morningstar_

 

 

 

 

 

The Morningstar is a very sentient piece that was made from the very blood of Lucifer himself and when Michael pierced the side of Lucifer with his blade, blood poured on the ground and the stones turned into majestic rubies that enticed one's greediness, the very stone itself was cursed to those who have a black heart and soul, they will be damned to the Pits of Hell because only a person deemed worthy will be able to wear it.

 

Nicholas had heard that the previous owners of the pieces had met with a terrible demise, they have succumbed to greed and arrogance. 

 

He was fortunate enough that the previous owner sold it to him without a second thought because the beautiful piece has killed off three of his customers and his business was crumbling ever since he acquired the piece and when Nicholas took it off his hands, the owner thanked him and told him to never show the piece to him.

 

When Nicholas opened the black velvet case it was placed in, he felt the pulse of power and rather than succumb to its greedy curse, he placed the various seals and locked it away.

 

 

It just an irony that the state of the jewel piece was the same as it's Master.

 

 

 

He took a great risk and opened it. "I am not selling you nor am I giving you away to a person who knows not of your origin but a person who is said to be your vessel." Nicholas gasped as he felt the pieces of the jewelry illuminated the room with such brightness it that it felt like, it was celebrating and he quickly closed it and walked hastily back to his guests.

 

"Whoa there, Gramps, where's the fire?" Dean asked but Nicholas waved it off. " _Mademoiselle_ , please sit." He urged Sam to sit on the antique chair facing a full body mirror. "What is this-?" Sam was cut off and the other males were quiet when Nicholas opened the black velvet box that had sigils etched on it, it sent alarm bells in Gabriel's mind but before could do anything.

 

Nicholas has already placed the necklace around Sam's neck.

 

 

The beautiful floral-like Ruby dropped necklace glowed in immense pride as it was placed around her neck. "It's very beautiful..." Sam said in awe and as she gently caressed the jewel, it grew warm to the touch and something inside her felt happy. A piece of her rejoiced...

 

 

"Here are the earrings to match, _Mademoiselle_." And when Sam put it on even Gabriel had to admit that Sam was glowing, Dean saw the glazed expression on Sam's face as if she was remembering something happy but he knows Sam, she isn't the fancy jewelry wearing kind.

 

"This jewelry set has an interesting story, would you like to know?" Needless to say, Sam, Gabriel, and Dean were shocked but the older brother wanted to remove the necklace that was placed Sam and throw it as far as possible. "You said that the piece entices greed and all other negative emotions but I don't feel any of those, it's the exact opposite, I feel like... I'm happy." Gabriel and Nicholas shared a look.

 

"Could it be because you are Lucifer's true vessel?" Nicholas asked while Sam tried to remove the necklace but somehow the clasped was sealed. "Can anyone try and remove it?" She asked while Nicholas tried, he felt his hand got burned and when Dean tried, he fell into the same treatment. "This is a tough bastard, ain't he?" Gabriel added a few of Grace into his hands and released the clasped and the earrings.

 

"Thanks, Loki." She said while the Trickster God flashed her his good old smirk and put the necklace into the box. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I can't let that piece stay with me now that it has already claimed an owner," Nicholas said solemnly while Dean scowled. "Can't you just put it back where it came from?" He asked a bit rudely because not only was he afraid for Sam but for whatever reaction their Dad might have that the Devil is still an Archangel and his number one meatsuit is Sam and this shiny set of rubies is a part of the Devil. "What do you mean that this piece can't stay with you anymore, Nicholas?" She asked him curiously and eyed the black box which hid the piece that sang when it was placed on her neck and ears.

 

"The piece is sentient, it punishes those with a black heart and soul. The damned is cursed while those of pure heart and soul are given blessings, the piece brings out the inner light or darkness of a person. It would be imprudent to keep something that already has an owner,  _Mademoiselle_  Samantha, this piece is  _considered_  cursed for it has the Devil's blood but I beg to differ, The Devil or Lucifer is considered The Lightbringer and shines brightly as he is considered Heaven's Brightest Star. " Sam mused a bit making Dean a bit perplexed and Gabriel, a bit impassive.

 

"That he brings out the good or bad inside a person, a being that was once the favored son now punishes those who brought it upon themselves and this is an instrument of both blessing and curse." Nicholas smiled and handed her the box. "You are a good woman,  _Mademoiselle_ , good and bad things will happen but I know you'll pull through and besides... Anyone with a brother like yours is blessed, everyone needs someone to ground them,  _Monsieur_  Dean is good for you as you are good for him." 

 

Before they left the shop in an enlightened spirit, Gabriel told Nicholas that he still going to get those eight pieces while Nicholas waved it off. "I have met women who brought good and bad when that necklace was placed on their necks and  _Mademoiselle_  Samantha is different, she is special, you will get those eight pieces after I have made it fit for someone like her." He said sincerely and eyed the Winchester siblings who are talking at the other side.

 

He noticed how the box itself radiated a calmness.

 

 

"Are you sure that piece will be good for her?" Gabriel pressed on a bit worried for the woman and a little bit for the people around her. " _Oui_ , Gabriel, fret not. You and I both sense that the piece itself is calm with her and like a loyal dog, it will stay with her and protect her." Nicholas gave a knowing look at the Archangel who sighed, a bit troubled but he couldn't deny that when that necklace was placed on her neck, Sam was radiating just like Lucifer.

 

"I'm still getting those pieces, old man." He said while the olden Alchemist chuckle. "Of course but before I give them to you, I have to make some adjustments, one befitting for someone who shines like the Morningstar himself." He replied while Gabriel nodded and walked towards the siblings who were in a bit of a debate.

 

"I'm just saying what if this thing brings more harm than good." The unspoken message was  _I'm only looking out for you and I just want the best for you._ Sam shifted the bag to the side and a few of her weight to the side since she was still adjusting to her newly acquired heeled boots. "Dean, I know you're worried and as my brother, I respect your opinion but my own conscience won't let me rest if I know we let a cursed object that is clearly alive in its own way and killing off people even though they might have deserved it and you heard Nicholas, it won't rest until it finds a way back to me even if it means killing innocent lives." She replied while Dean groaned. "Then how are we going to explain to Dad that you somehow got a ruby set that must've cost a fortune and with a history, no less?" He wasn't being rude because the way Dean speaks is just protective.

 

Sam sighed. "Then I tell him the truth, Dean. I didn't start lying to you because I'm a girl and I'm entitled to secrets, I omit the truth because I want to gather facts before I tell you and before you or Dad go in with your blazing macho bravado. You know me well enough and if I start hiding things as big as this, nothing good comes from it because we'll end up in those stupid chick flick moments you hate so much." She said pointedly that Dean opened and shut his mouth, conflicting emotions raced through his eyes.

 

"How are you going to tell Dad that your friend is a Pagan God and that we have the identity of the thing that killed Mom and the fact that Heaven and Hell want to start Armageddon and that you're Lucifer's dress to the Prom?"

 

"Point and Shoot.

 

 

"You're a crazy bitch.

 

 

 "We're all mad here, jerk, better start accepting the fact that crazy things will happen.

 

 

Gabriel mused at the siblings, they were truly complementary to each other. One was verbose and would take longer but logical explanation while the other is straight to the point, crude and blunt. "Alright ladies, you're both pretty so let's get a move on." He announced while the two turned at him with their own bitchface. "Where to?" Sam schooled her face and was curious about what he was planning. "I was thinking we pay a visit to this Monkey monk and I started craving sushi." The Winchester siblings deadpanned but for Dean, it was momentarily.

 

Japan.

 

Japan = Busty Asian Beauties.

 

Gabriel smirked at Dean's direction and nodded. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea." Alarm bells were ringing in Sam's head but the two were already outside leaving her with a painful intuition that it concerns with Dean's favorite porn magazine.

 

It does not bode well.

 

Before she started walking away. "A moment, _Mademoiselle_?" Nicholas called her and walked back to the old Alchemist who placed an aged box with demon and angel proofing sigils that she raised a brow at it. "You may think of me as a crazy old man when I give this to you but know that I have no heir nor do I have any family that I can trust with this knowledge but I know you will keep this safe." Nicholas opened the box and there was a book that was clearly has seen better days but it was something else.

 

"Is this?" She asked in wonderment when the information sank into her. " _Oui_ , my notes, and official statements as well as other information. I think this book will help you in your quest." His eyes twinkled knowingly which made her a bit queasy but pushed it back because she held the one and only copy of Nicholas Flannel's journal. "How did you feel about your Harry Potter version?" She asked while laughed heartily. "Shocked but the rest of my reaction is for another time, your companions are looking for you." He said and even though he looked like an elderly, he was strong enough to carry the box with ease.

 

"I could take that-" "My grandfather would rise from his grave and beat my buttocks red for allowing a pretty lady to carry such a heavy thing." He reasoned while she felt her lips form a gentle smile, she wasn't used to good things because it was still deeply engraved in her to work hard for everything, to work for her keep.

 

She may be smiling on the outside but she was lost and terrified on the inside.

 

Sam wasn't used to this at all.

 

People spoiling her, people giving her things that have more value than her own thrift store things. It was overwhelming and if she didn't get some space soon, she will break down, she doesn't deserve this but it's still happening to her...

 

"Thank you very much, Nicholas." She hugged him and the grandfather-like Alchemist chuckled. "You're welcome, Mademoiselle Samantha but before you go..."

 

 

His silver-blue eyes were piercing her and made her froze.

 

 

 

"It was the Beauty who killed the Beast but it is also Beauty who saved him and gave him redemption."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Everything seemed surreal.

 

Two countries in one day and she was pretty sure it was Gabriel's doing on how they're not experiencing any form of exhaustion from traveling because previous experience told her it wasn't quick adaptability or soullessness but Angel mojo or was is Pagan? She frankly did not want to know at the moment. She was going to be honest because the situation is downright odd since it's been exhausting from her morning moment with Gabriel to the shopping in France, she did try to question where they got the money from but she got the weirdest twin-like answer from both of them.

 

Gabriel and Dean were like two volatile chemicals and when you try to combine them together, they explode but these two? She was counting the creatures she had met before and wondered was there any creature capable of being a shifter with Pagan/Angelic power other than Gabriel himself because this situation is making her feel weirded out.

 

Okay, time-travel and genderbending are straight out of a fanfiction but Sam can't help but grumble mentally because this is her life now...

 

 

It was barmy as Crowley would say.

 

 

Where was she now?

 

In an authentic Sushi shop in Kyoto, Japan with Dean making flirty looks at the waitresses who were giving him the time of day and Gabriel was doing the same, in all honesty, if they wanted to go to Japan and flirt why couldn't they leave her with Nicholas? Asking about his Alchemy discovery is better than being leered at by the locals, some good looking and others just, just no.

 

Maybe she could pick up a few English-to-Japanese dictionaries or How To Speak Japanese? 

 

Nicholas was fortunate enough to add those into the box since his notes were all in French. "-was thinking we could head to some shops, you up for it?"  _More shopping? Christ! I thought the girls in my class are bad._ Sam thought as her expression morphed into a horrified one that Gabriel caught in which he wiggled his finger. "Now now, Babydoll, you can't come to Japan without getting yourself an authentic Kimono of modern and traditional design."  _Crap._ She shook her head.

 

"I have enough clothes already, Loki!" She reasoned while the Archangel in hiding merely smirked at her. "Do you honestly think you can stop it from happening?" He asked while she gave him the bitchface she was known for. "Does a stake to the heart help?" She asked sarcastically while Gabriel's smirk transformed to a Chesire like grin. "You can try but I doubt that'll help." He said in an honest asshole tone that Sam was gratingly familiar with. "No harm in trying and it'll make me feel better." Dean watched in disgusting fascination as the two of them flirted in their twisted way of death threats.

 

Wait. Flirting?

 

 

He was supposed to be verbally denying it or at least showing it but the way they flirted.  _If you call death threats flirting._ He thought and glanced back at the other Japanese ladies who was eyeing him in such fascination that he was sure that all his sexcapades for the week would be solved here but as he glanced at Sam and her friend, Loki. 

 

They were lost in their own world, he scoffed mentally, friends they say. He called it unresolved sexual tension a mile away but Sam was a stubborn one and she didn't even venture out to find romance like other girls her age, she was more into books and singing, yes, if Sam thought he didn't know then she was dead wrong, he taught her to play the guitar after all.

 

Books and music were her hobbies and if she had other more when she went to Standford then he'll find out soon enough but seriously, of all the people that Sam had to attract, a Pagan God... Jesus, he wondered how their Dad and Bobby will react.  _'Probably with a shotgun.'_ He thought and while he was thinking loudly, Gabriel didn't bother snarking at the older brother because it did bother him a little.

 

Attraction?

 

I mean he knew Sam for a few weeks and their meetings were usually sporadically but each meeting has a lasting impression, she has this pull and for a reason that his Father knows, it's like he knows her and for some reason, he sees her with big brown eyes rather than those green and gold that she was born with.

 

Stanford Psychology graduate seemed off because his mind was thinking of something else...

 

 

_Law._

 

She wanted to be a Lawyer. She wanted to be normal.

 

There were conflicting emotions and images appearing in Gabriel's mind but he pushed it away, he can think about it later. "So how do we find this Monkey monk?" Dean asked breaking whatever staredown those two had because he felt really uncomfortable with the tension and the last thing he needs is other people picking it up and questioning them because he is sure as hell he won't be able to answer it. "Well, we do know that he lives specifically in Kyoto's mountain tops filled with Monkeys, we can just narrow it down to that," Sam said helpfully while Gabriel smirked. "Luckily for us, I have a few contacts who owe me a favor just give me a few to get them so while I get cozy with them, try enjoying the scenery." With that, he was gone.

 

And the meal was paid for.

 

"Didn't the prick realize we don't speak a lick of Japanese?" Dean said as they both stood up and Sam shrugged. "He'll find us eventually, Dean."She said very assured while Dean raised a brow. "you sure got a lot of fate in your boyfriend, Sammy." She rolled her eyes at him. "Dean, he's a good friend, not my boyfriend." She replied almost automatically and the older Winchester didn't believe her, it was like she was convincing herself rather than him. 

 

He let it slide for now.

 

 

 

When they exited the restaurant, there was a car waiting for them with a familiar person and Sam realized that she forgot that Gabriel had the ability to be in two places at the same time but Dean doesn't know so he had this jaw-dropping stupid fish out of the water look. "Close your mouth, De." She nudged her brother while he glared at her. "You know something about this."He pointed out while she shook her head. "No, I didn't know but if you connect the dots, Pagan Gods have perks." She said while Dean marched off without her and she let him.

 

His pride has been wounded.

 

 

"Where are off to now, Loki?" 

 

 

"Somewhere you're gonna love, Samshine." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

She did, in fact, love it.

 

 

It was an entire town filled with supernatural creatures of Japanese folklore and she even spotted a few humans, possibly hunters or half-bloods, it was amazing and Dean... 

 

Dean was equally fascinated as she was.

 

"Where are we?" She asked in awe while Loki looped an arm around her waist. "Welcome to Yokai Town but don't be fooled by its name! This is the Las Vegas of Japan's supernatural community, you got your Gods and Goddesses that want to mix and mingle, demi-gods, humans with special bloodlines and your favorite, Hunters but the Hunters here are different, can you guess what difference you guys have?" Loki said happily as they passed by various creatures who looked at them with varying degrees of stare.

 

"The Hunters here mix and mingle, I take it?" Dean asked dryly while Loki gave a nice 'HA' and nodded. "Some of these Hunters are Halfies, they take mingling into a whole new level, Dean-O!" Sam ignored the heat of the arm wrapped around her waist and even if it's just a clone, it was still giving her that weird drop feeling and the way Dean was giving her that stare wasn't helping.

 

 

God above, what did she do to deserve this?

 

 

"Here we are~" They arrived an elaboratively designed place which Sam could guess was a shop and she could only groan. "No. please..."

 

Apparently begging was a futile attempt.

 

 

No wonder he had an arm around her waist...

 

 

So she couldn't run away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>   

 

 

 

 

 They were both gorgeous.

 

 One was in white where it reflected the innocence and purity of Sam's soul while the red reflected the burning magnetic personality that she had even Dean agreed with him. "We'll get it both," Gabriel said finality as he let his gaze set on Sam as she was wearing the white floral Furisode, it was artfully placed on her. Despite the various vixens laying around trying to tempt him, he ignored them in favor of the beautiful woman in front of him.

 

 

Except for Dean, Dean was giving them his award-winning smile and it worked like a charm.

 

Sam was on a pedestal and Gabriel circled her. "Very beautiful, Babydoll." He said earnestly while she blushed. "It's still very constricting and how I do plan on wearing this back in the US?" She asked a bit hesitant since she didn't want to sound ungrateful and all but she had a point, what was she going to do with a kimono. "Well, there are festivals in Japan that makes one wear a kimono as per tradition." He pointed out while Sam raised a brow at him.

 

 _'Is he...asking me out?'_ Sam thought and looked into his whiskey shot eyes, it was like how she remembered them, it oozed with confidence and mischief like the Trickster he is, it's brimming with life. She missed his eyes. "Of course, the Hulk comes because it's not like he'll go anywhere without you." Her lips did the dimpled smile that Dean told her would be her own undoing.

 

 

_Attracted? Maybe._

 

 

"Thank you for everything, for today and for the previous happenings." She said sincerely and did something that was usually reserved for family and close friends, she pecked him on the cheek. It was an innocent gesture that showed her gratitude but from her brother's perspective, it was a slow burning ember that would soon turn into flames, he prays that Sam wouldn't get burn.

 

A part of Dean knows that Loki wouldn't do that because of the smile present of the Trickster God's face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

They didn't find him.

 

 

 

The monk apparently died five years ago but luckily, his apprentice took his place and like Bobby, he helps Hunters in their hunt of the week. "A demon infestation?" The monk named Momoshiro asked in a horrified tone. Thankfully, he speaks English. "Yes, the Hunters in America only know how to exorcise and trap them," Sam replied with a grimace while Dean shared her sentiments, meeting Meg was crucial but fortunately for her, that little fight with Dean had to occur.

 

Sam had to meet Meg.

 

But that didn't mean she liked it, she avoided the trap that was meant for their Father but at the risk of several people's lives, she managed to save Daniel Elkins and they have the Colt with them. The vampire pack was avoided but the other happenings would soon happen.

 

 

She was running out of time.

 

 

 

"The origins of these blades are unknown but they have been proven great help against killing demons," Momoshiro said as he uncovered the box that Sam noted had it seals even in the inside. She felt something cold washed over her as she saw those blades, specifically, the smallest ones. ' _Ruby's knife?'_ She thought as she gingerly picked up the blade. "Sammy?" Dean saw how Sam looked troubled as she set her eyes on the blade, how clouded her eyes look. "I've seen this blade before..." It took Dean a while to process then he looked at the troubled looking Loki and the calm yet worried Monk.

 

"How did you see this blade before, Miss? This blade has been sealed for almost a century." He said while Sam put the blade back alongside its brother blades. "I've seen that it was held by a she-demon named Ruby, Ruby is one of Lilith's most loyal supporters." The sharp look that Dean sent her was something she knew she'll be in trouble for. "You have psychic abilities?" Momoshiro asked in awe while Gabriel narrowed his eyes a bit.

 

How powerful is Sam's precognition ability really is?

 

"I thought you said that you cleared the demon blood?" Dean asked the Pagan in an accusatory tone while Sam sent a surprised look but it morphed into a dismayed one. "I take it there's a story?" Momoshiro asked the female while she sighed deeply. "You need alcohol for this one."And sake was brought out and everyone took a quick gulp of the first cup before taking another round. "There is a demon named Azazel, we don't know his reason but when an infant is born during the sixth-month that marked his or her birth, he would go into their nursery and give them a few drops of his blood and kill the mother by burning them alive. When the child reaches the age of 22 their powers would manifest others would deny of its existence because it drove them crazy, others would use them for unsavory purposes and there are those like me, we would try to help." Sam said softly while Momoshiro sighed.

 

"A fate that is truly unfair, to use a child of all things but I don't understand, your brother has stated that you are cleared from the demon blood and yet your abilities remained?" He asked while they both turned to Loki, he shrugged. "My guess is that Babydoll always had psychic abilities, genuine ones from premonitions, empathic, telekinetic and if she trains more the other abilities would most likely manifest." He sent a sorry look at the woman who thought she could escape the fate of her abilities.

 

 What he didn't know was that Sam already knows the bouts of her abilities from past life experience.

 

 

After a brief silence. "Hey Sammy, can you see dead people?" 

 

"Dean!"

 

Momoshiro laughed seeing how the younger sibling hit the back of her brother's head. "What? Can't I crack some Jennifer Lovegood jokes or some Sixth Sense ones?" She scowled at him and while the mood was better than it was before Gabriel wondered how did Sam know about Ruby and Lilith?

 

How many secrets does she have and does his Father have to do with the mental wall?

 

"You can take the blades except for the katanas, I take that you two don't have lessons to wield it." The Winchester siblings have sheepish expressions befitting them. Momoshiro shook his head fondly. "If one of you or both of you were to stay with me so I could train you properly then it won't worry my conscious that you poked each other's eyes out or well, one of you." He eyed Dean carefully while Sam mused and Gabriel had a thoughtful look. "If I could train them and if you tested them to see how far they are?" He asked the monk while Momoshiro considered it.

 

"That would be a timesaver." He replied while he noticed the woman looked at Gabriel with a look akin to thankful. "You're too nice, Loki, are you sure you're not going to tire with us quickly?" She asked while the Pagan God smirked. "With you, of course not. I'm going to teach you how to handle  _all_ types of blade, Sam-a-lamb." The innuendo wasn't lost while Momoshiro stayed silent and observed hoe the woman turned red and the brother had a disgusted look on his face.

 

There was something about her that was unique and he won't ignore the fact that there was something forming between Sam and Loki.

 

 

 

When they were about to leave with several more bags and weapons in tow, demon killing knives strapped in their belts and many thanks were said before they finally left Japan.

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

They were back in Richardson, Texas.

 

And the living room was packed with the number of things, namely clothes, they bought as well as the weapons. "We can't fit these in the Impala," Sam stated the obvious while Dean grunted. "Let's just eat first before we think about anything else." And they got pizza and varying amounts of sweet from Japan and France. "I'll start with the weapons first," Dean said and he took several bags with him, he enjoyed the heavyweight because it was real and this wasn't a dream.

 

They have something that can kill demons.

 

Sam watched her brother walked away while she walked towards the familiar path that leads to the bonfire that always seemed lit. "You know that mountain of clothing is the least of my worries." She said out loud and Gabriel handed her a cold beer. "Then what is?" He asked and sat at one of the vacant chairs. "How do I tell my Dad everything?" She asked a little worried while Gabriel didn't honestly know how could he help her with this one, this was a topic that couldn't literally end the damn world.

 

"I know your Dad loves you, Babydoll and he will do whatever it takes to protect you but you have to know that he can't make decisions for you." 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 Waking up the next day seemed like a chore.

 

They showered, double checked everything and closed the door but before they leave, Gabriel tossed them a key. "Rather than staying in those flea-infested motels, just insert this in any keyhole you'll find yourself here again." One thing he forgot to mention, Gabriel bought the house and gave them the room so they could store whatever things they needed.

 

It was a relief.

 

With fresh supplies and new weapons they were off.

 

 

 

"How are you going to explain this to Dad, Sammy?" 

 

 

How indeed....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea of Gabriel's gift comes from https://www.laurelnymph.com/product/bronze-triquetra-dreamcatcher-feather-pendant/  
> which is not mine, this credit is solely for the creator.
> 
> Female Sam Winchester isn't mine either. I give credit to the respectful owners of the pictures.


	10. Bleachless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #9
> 
> These emotions and confrontations are maddening.
> 
> God help me.
> 
> \- S. W

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _I'm not the face with secrets,_
> 
>  _Too scared to read your mind._
> 
>  _'Cause when your life's on the table,_  
>  _Then there's not much left to hide,_
> 
>   
>  _Begging for contagion,_  
>  _These hospitals won't save us._  
>  _And when these toxins leave us,_  
>  _It's sad when we'll be bleachless._  
>    
>  _'Cause all you have to say is that it's gonna get better,_  
>  _It's gonna get better,_  
>  _But it never does._
> 
>   
>  _And all you have to say is that it's gonna get better,_  
>  _It's gonna get better,_  
>  _But it never does._  
>  _It never does._  
>  _It never does._
> 
>  
> 
>  _**-[Bleachless by Elizabeth Grace](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EjNtByUaGk)** _
> 
>  

> * * *
> 
> * * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

_**Something Wicked...** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

Dad sent them on a hunt in Wisconsin.

 

 

 

Sam didn't say anything as they drove in silence, it was a sore topic even for Dean because even she could recall what happened to her, her almost death at a young age. Bobby was out on a hunt and he couldn't watch over Sam so the Winchester men had to bring her along but she thought she would be okay but she underestimated the situation and with that small miscalculation, she almost lost her life.

 

A Shtriga almost killed her.

 

 

"Dean... You know I don't hold you accountable for anything that happened." She said softly while she noticed how her brother scowled. "But Dad does, Sam, if I didn't leave... Dad could've ganked that thing." He hissed through his teeth, he was angry, very angry at himself. His selfishness nearly caused Sam her life, he loves both his Dad and Sammy and the thought of losing them was Hell enough. If he arrived a second late, Sam wouldn't have been seating there and her death would be on his conscious for years to come.

 

"You told me and you keep telling me that I have no control over the things that happened, Dean. Now I'm telling you the same thing, you didn't know it would happen and I don't hold any bad feelings, you were just a kid that was bored out of his mind and you know if I was in your place then I might've done something similar."  She laid her head on his shoulder as he drove while Dean looked at the rearview mirror to see his sister's forgiving eyes.

 

How can someone this forgiving be the Devil's vessel?

 

 

Sam was kind, too kind and too trusting but despite those double-edged aspects. she would always make the situation better. It makes him angrier at himself, he almost got her killed several times but one of his biggest regrets was when he pulled her back into this life, a life that promised nothing except for untimely deaths and severed bonds. He pulled her back and she was too nice to say something about this...

 

He wondered how times Sam had a breakdown from the stress, the nightmares? How does she manage it because he is sure as hell can't manage his own demons? 

 

"Keeping it in never helps, Dean and I'm not saying this because of the chick flick things you love to comment on but as a human being. You have people who love and care about you, don't shut us out because it won't help you in a long run, brother." She said and her words sounded as if she'd seen it happened and he glanced at her only to see those vivid green hues shadowed. Sam felt like a hypocrite, who was she to tell him that keeping it in doesn't help when she does the same exact thing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _"Sam... my heart breaks for you. The weight on your shoulders: what you've done, what you still have to do, it is more than anyone could bear. If there was some other way... but there isn't. I will never lie to you, I will never trick you but you will say yes to me."_

 

 

 

 

Lucifer.

 

He was haunting her.

 

Taunting her with the memories, with _his_ memories of their time in the Cage, in Hell and essentially, of him. He was the second oldest of the bunch but he had a bigger Daddy issue than everyone on Earth, he thought every human is nothing but flawed and should burn from the paradise his Father made, he promised that he will spare her life except that everyone else will die. She should she be angry, right? Livid? Or hold at least contempt for the being who made her past life so hellish, pun not intended.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 This is a new kind of torture for her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _"I was a son. A brother, like you. A younger brother. And I had an older brother who I loved. Idolized, in fact. And one day, I went to him and I begged him to stand with me, and Michael... Michael turned on me. Called me a freak. A monster. And then he beat me down. All because I was different. Because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something Sam, any of this sound familiar?"_

 

 

It was achingly familiar.

 

 

She knew that feeling, she tried so damn hard to let both see that blind obedience and a life driven by revenge would just severe them. It caused her enough triggering moments that... that she reverted back to that bad habit, the razor was still in her pocket as a reminder of her bad habit, she knows that she couldn't escape it anymore, the horrible truth of being a masochist.

 

 

Those words, those touches...

 

The emotions, the trauma, and the torture.

 

Lucifer.

 

 

 _How can I give you redemption?_ She thought forlornly as her thoughts drifted to the black velvet case hidden deep within her bag, the piece of him that she wanted to throw away and never see but she was at lost, she was very lost, he was basically a part of her and to deny him that was rightfully his was catastrophic but seeing and living his intentions were traumatizing.

 

She wanted him and at the same time, she wanted nothing more do to with him.

 

 

Sam knows she screwed things up when Gabriel came into the mix, what was she gonna do?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

He could see everything.

 

 

From the Home, he was banished from and Hell, a place made for damned souls. Lucifer may live in this prison that barely contained him but this prison was basically made for him, a free bird that was now caged and he was taunted, he could see his Father's creations and how it was slowly being destroyed by the very things his Father loved, it was disgusting.

 

 

He could see them, hear them but he can't touch or feel it.

 

This was the absolute Hell for someone like him.

 

 

 

The green pastures turned into ash and covered in concrete, holy hypocrites who abuse their power and sully his Father's name and his family, brothers, and sisters stuck in blind obedience like his dear older brother, a sneer formed on his face. All he wanted was nothing more than to open their eyes to the ugly truth and he gets called out like a petulant child and they call him ungrateful. He shifted the image of the cage into something else, more importantly, on someone who Azazel frequently reported on.

 

His vessel, his _true_ vessel, Sam.

 

Lucifer took his time in studying the profile of his vessel, she was perfect and it may be a bit of a biased opinion but the gentle nature she has to her deadly skills were similar to him. Beautiful yet dangerous but what caught his attention was her eyes, it radiated power and they said the eyes were the window of the soul and that is true, her bright green eyes coupled with golden specs were an indication that her soul was bright and pure.

 

And they call her the abomination. _Pah_

 

He shook his head at the foolishness, the prejudice that his brothers and sisters show were baseless because it was only word from the mouth declared by Michael, it was disappointing, he still chases the approval of their Father rather than think of the greater good. Then there was himself, the being who called out his Father for creating something destructive but who was he fooling?

 

He can't say humans are disgusting without labeling his vessel the same, a mud monkey.

 

 

She was sitting on the hood of the vehicle they always used, her head was tilted upward and eyes lost in thoughts he wished he could dive into, they were helping a group of teenagers who had a flat tire, well her brother was the one helping them. "Dude, nothing offensive but your sister's hot." Lucifer shared Dean's scowl as he looked at the dirty blonde haired male. "And my sister is off limits." He noticed how Sam snapped out of her thoughts, he was fascinated with her eyes, it reflected life and light.

 

 

"So, Sam, right?" One of the girls asked Sam, who gave her a polite smile. "Yeah?" The three girls in the group were talking to her about seamless things that even she thought was pointless but she was far too polite to turn them down. "So, no boyfriend or anything?" The brunette asked the female Hunter while she had a rueful smile. "Sadly no, I have a hellhound for a brother, he scares them with his face and a shotgun." Lucifer saw how a few of the males paled considerably and smirked.

 

With the tire fixed in no time, the teens were off and the Winchester siblings headed to their location. "Sam... what's bothering you?" Lucifer indulged the moment, Dean was every bit of Michal as he imagined, he loathes and missed it. "A lot of things bother me, Dean and I don't know where to start." She replied in a clipped tone. Lucifer could take a hint that she was stressed and troubled but why?

 

 

What could possibly stress her out?

 

"Then start with something, your Ms. Psychology after all." He replied while Sam scowled. "Let's start with the demon blood that was in my veins, then the Yellow-Eyed Demon named Azazel who apparently has plans for me and oh, the Apocalypse and Lucifer. Satisfied?" 

 

 

Oh... _Oh_ , wait... How did she even find out? 

 

 

Lucifer narrowed his eyes and the energy crackled around him, someone told Sam thus his plans would be ruined in no time flat and Heaven would, well, he already knew that Michael is a good little soldier boy so he'd most likely manipulate the events just like he would. 

 

 

"I don't want the world to end, Dean, I don't want to be Lucifer's dress to the prom and I don't want to fight. Heaven or Hell, why do they want the Apocalypse of all things to happen, my mind can't comprehend it." She said despondently and Lucifer wished he could connect with her, to know what emotions are running in that mind of hers.

 

 _"I don't want to fight my own brother as well, Sam."_ He said hoarsely because Lucifer knows no one could hear him and it was agonizing, he wanted to be heard, to interact and by his Father's name, he just wants to talk to someone else other than himself!

 

"Then what are our options? Praying won't do us good because that's gonna clue the angel squad, demons aren't an option either. Basically, Sam, we don't have any good ones and you still haven't figured out how to say everything to Dad, the demon blood cleared from you to the Azazel and the damn Apocalypse." Sam hissed out in aggravation. "I'm sorry, Dean but when someone told me I was going to be part of this rodeo they completely missed the fact that they haven't told me and you're not in a better position too, you know." The car abruptly stopped and Dean glared at his sister.

 

Lucifer could feel the heat and the tension even if he wasn't there.

 

"What is that suppose to mean?" He growled out while Sam narrowed her eyes at him, daring him to do something irrational. "Think about it, Dean. Who was the one that cast Lucifer out of Heaven?" She asked in a cold tone while Dean felt something cold washed over him. "Michael." He didn't want to even think about the possibility or possibilities of what Sam could be implying. "And who was Michael to Lucifer?" She asked again.

 

_"A bastard of a brother that wanted nothing more than Father's approval."_

 

 

"Sam-" "Answer the question, Dean, who was he to Lucifer?"

 

 

"His older brother."

 

Lucifer could see the pain in Sam's eyes. "His older brother, like you are to me. Do you understand what that could possibly mean?" She asked tiredly as if the problem of the world was suddenly dumped on her. "No, Sam and I don't even want to think about it." He slammed on the gas and they speeded off and they were in a tense silence.

 

"Dean, you may not like to hear it much less think about it... If I'm Lucifer's vessel then there's no denying you are Michael's vessel." 

 

"Then why does it have to be us of all people?" 

 

"That's a question we can't answer." 

 

 

 

Then it vanished.

 

Lucifer was left with passing thoughts and the prominent one was, of all the things to show him was his vessel and that she knows. "How could she possibly know?" He asked out loud and expected silence but was surprised...

 

"Sam knows a lot more than that granted the fact she lived through this before." There was someone else in the cage with him, a man in his late thirties, spiky blonde hair and an intense piercing azure gaze that reminded him of his own, was this one of the creations of the cage or was it because of him and his need to talk with someone else?

 

Or was it his Father's convoluted thought of a joke to torment him?

 

"Father above, Dean was right about me having major daddy issues and need to blame for someone else." The man mused while Lucifer narrowed his eyes as he observed the new occupant. "Did Father create you to torment me or is it just my sanity finally starting to crack?" He asked with a seething tone while the other occupant raised his hands in mock surrender and shrugged.

 

"We're all our Father's creation and who I am, simple. I'm you... Well, a different you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
> **Heavenly Thoughts...**
> 
> * * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **Starring:** _Chuck Shurley_
> 
>     _Michael_
> 
> _Lucifer_
> 
> _Raphael_
> 
> _Gabriel_
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>       

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
>  
> 
>                                                                   ** _O_**
> 
> **_O_ **

**_O_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>   
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>   _"Sometimes I wonder why I made my kids so much more good looking and then there's me, their Dad, who looks like your ordinary Joes only that I'm drunk 80% of the time."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

Kids. Whining and Soberness.

 

 

Three things that Chuck has to live with since he was basically forced by his own sons to give up drinking for the millennia and he has to do his job as Chuck Shurley the Writer and the Heavenly Father of all Creations, completely and utterly sober with no ounce of alcohol and endure it.

 

 

Crap wrapped in unholy dong.

 

 

He told Dean that he couldn't go to where Sam is and Sam... She took it rather. Shittily. It really wasn't in his intention to make her feel that everything is her fault and that she should do it alone, fuck, he didn't want her to be suicidal or intended for any of the bad things to happen to her on a constant basis.

 

 

He honestly has nothing against Sam, the fact that she has everything from the knowledge to the weaponry but for some reason, she continues to surprise him by doing thing manually, sure she gets hurts but she endures it but that didn't mean he wanted her to become a masochist! Dean and the rest who knew and loved Sam very well banded together and he was sure as hell that even with his status as God he couldn't stop a raging Mother from threatening him and his balls.

 

 

Sam thought she was unloved, undeserving of kindness and goodwill. If she'd only seen the townsfolk with torches lit by holy oil and pitchforks that was ready to gun hoe him at any time of the day!

 

 

 

Heck, even his own sons drove him to the corner while they were tapping their respective Archangel blades on their hips or heads, it was a scene out from The Godfather and he was the poor unfortunate sap that was about to be beaten! He expected Castiel because that angel spent the majority of his time with the Winchester siblings especially around Sam if they were doing research.

 

But.

 

The four Archangels? Anna? Joshua? Balthazar? Uriel was neutral but he was respective. If only he'd notice how alluring Sam's aura is then he would've protected that instead of letting it dim, they were impressed by her intelligence, her stubbornness and drive but what lures them to her was her kindness. She lost her life, she was a Blood Junkie, she became Soulless, she was infected by the Leviathans and yet she still managed to stand even if the one trying to put her down was her own brother. 

 

What she did was hard for anyone and he didn't wish for a fate like that to befall on any of his creations.

 

 

Sam did something that even brings tears to his own eyes and tear open a hole in his heart.

 

She managed to forgive.

 

 

Forgiveness. Something so easily said with insincerity but when said genuinely, the impact is cataclysmic. 

 

 

 

And he was the great Almighty Father, who felt remorse for his own actions and he wished he could take that back but consequences would happen both good and bad. The only thing he could do to help Sam was to send someone to help her but what he didn't expect was the others to do the same thing...

 

He wondered how it will go?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I can't believe you let Lucifer deliberately piss himself off while you told me I can't do that to myself." Chuck Shurley a.k.a God sighed as his youngest Archangel son whined, well the Trickster side of him wasn't amused by the missed opportunity of pissing himself off since he was told not to. "This is Lucifer we are talking about, Gabriel, do you really think he would just listen to me?" Chuck said while Gabriel had this thoughtful look and scowled.

 

"Damn, even Michael and Raphael pissed themselves off." He grumbled while Chuck rolled his eyes. "I didn't realize that Lucifer's subversive attitude was infectious." Chuck drawled while Gabriel howled seeing what Michael was doing. "Did he really just-" "Well damn, Free Will indeed, I hope that Sam would forgive me for this." He said a bit rueful while Gabriel, he let a short sigh and put a hand on his Father's shoulder.

 

"Didn't Samsquatch say that rather than beating yourself up, just owe it up and make better of yourself or somewhere along the lines?" The Winchesters were rough teachers on his sons but they did the job right, after years of denial and pent-up teenage angst, they did learn their lesson even if they had a few... bumps but lesson learned on all their parts. "I have a question for you, Gabriel?" Chuck asked his youngest who was just lounging on one of the sofas and eating a pack of M&M's idle.

 

"Of all the human beings or being to fall in love with, why does it have to Sam?" From the corner of Chuck's eye, he saw his youngest choked on the M&M's that he was eating. "Psst, really Dad... I'm not in love with the Moose." Even that sounded like doubt from a mile away. "You know you can't lie to me, right?" Gabriel scowled at that then generally shrugged his shoulders. "To be honest, I don't know... Sam, he or should I say, she, she always put others before herself and when she does try to do something for herself, she gets the short end of the stick. This person was too giving, so unsure and reckless but her nature... It was just appealing and now that she's doing what she's supposed to be doing, it's hard to ignore her now." It was true.

 

Sam is hard to ignore now.

 

"How long until all of them will have their memories?" 

 

"Before or somewhere in the middle of the Apocalypse..." 

 

 

 _Well damn_. They hope that Sam could endure it even if it's only for a while.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

  

 

 

 

Sleeplessness is a bitch.

 

 

 Sam knew it all too well from past experience, she left Dean to go back to the safehouse that Gabriel provided. It's one of those days when they couldn't stand to be near each other, the case and how it home and this whole pre-Apocalyptic mess. It was maddening, what was God thinking? Right, he can't help her now.

 

For some reason lying down on the Impala's hood starring at the star-filled sky was much more relaxing than being inside the space as Dean.

 

 

It was painful being able to remember also those fights that ended up in fistfights accompanied with harsh words that couldn't be taken back, each word was painful, scars and bruises can heal but emotional and mental attacks can't be healed with a band-aid. The guitar in her hands was something that Dean bought while they were in Paris, it a was surprised to see it in the back seat of the Impala but seeing a pretty yellow bow and music sheets in the case was enough for to realize that he bought this for them.

 

Like old times when they were just kids sitting on the front porch of Bobby's house.

 

 

He managed to find an old yet working Gibson when he and dad went out on a hunt, he fixed and cleaned it until it looked brand new then on a warm sunny summer afternoon in South Dakota, they sat on the front porch while he taught her a few chords of the song  _Carry On My Wayward Son_ by _Kansas_ , Dean actually sings pretty well when he wants to but most of the times he just sings off key to annoy the hell out of her.

 

She strummed the guitar and let the toneless sound echo in the parking lot.

 

It gently escalated to a familiar song that speaks about her past life experiences...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**On the first page of our story**_  
>  **_The future seemed so bright_ **  
>  **_Then this thing turned out so evil_ **  
>  **_I don't know why I'm still surprised_ **  
>  **_Even angels have their wicked schemes_ **  
>  **_And you take that to new extremes_ **  
>  **_But you'll always be my hero_ **  
>  **_Even though you've lost your mind_ **

 

 _'Let me tell you the story of my life in a song.'_ She thought bitterly from her early life, the questioning, the unsatisfactory life of being a drifter then when an opportunity arose for her to better herself from the life she had lived only turned out to be the worse mistake she made, she left them in pieces for her own selfishness and the consequence was great, she lost Jesse, the very woman she wanted to marry.

 

Dad disappeared and Dean came knocking. Her powers manifested, the demon who she thought she could trust only lead her astray, she became the very thing she hunted. They died and went to Heaven only to come back to Earth broken and frail, the very beings who she prayed to had dangerous intentions and they manipulated at every turn for a destiny that none of them wanted.

 

Dean sold his soul. Dean died. Dean managed to get a taste of an apple pie life.

 

And she pulled him back and the cycle repeated until there was no more.

 

Because they died.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> _**Just gonna stand there and watch me burn** _  
>  _**But that's all right because I like the way it hurts** _  
>  _**Just gonna stand there and hear me cry** _  
>  _**But that's all right because I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**Oh, I love the way you lie** _
> 
>  

 

Hell. Cage and Lucifer.

 

They all burned her that she didn't think much of it at first but now that she had time to think about it, the burning sensation was addictive like those sweet lies, every damn lie was sweet as forbidden candy but the sweet taste had a left a bitter aftertaste and every time she remembered it, it burns her in the inside. Was she that foolish to believe in those lies rather than the bitter truth?

 

Lucifer was the fire of both hatred and desire while Dean, Dean was the person who brought great ease and pain while everyone else is just the ingredients to make the bittersweet dish.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> _**Now there's gravel in our voices** _  
>  _**Glass** **is shattered from the fight** _  
>  _**In this tug of war, you'll always win** _  
>  _**Even when I'm right** _  
>  _**'Cause you feed me fables from your head** _  
>  _**With violent words and empty threats** _  
>  _**And it's sick that all these battles** _  
>  _**Are what keeps me satisfied** _

__

 

 

 Her voice was starting to leak the emotions of the lyrics.

 

 

 Every fight they had, every argument left more scars in heart and mind than what both angels and demons had done to them. They were far too prideful to admit their own mistakes or to even say _I'm sorry that I screwed up_ but even if they did apologize to one another there's always a hidden agenda behind that apology, there were more threats thrown at each other than comforting ones and the sick reality of all it was.

 

They were addicted to it.

 

She repressed everything, her emotions and her thoughts because Dean always countered her by saying she didn't have the right to make the major decisions when she caused the majority of the world's population to suffer the Apocalypse she ended by jumping in the Cage, that wasn't enough for him, it never was. While she was the ex-blood junkie that made bad decisions.

 

Dean was the poster boy of deniability and high school dropout with six dollars to his name. Golden boy and favorite son while Heaven adored him despite his rash brutishness in approaching things, he lacked tact and subtlety yet he was blessed while she was labeled as the abomination. She tried all that she could but not even Heaven wanted her, she told herself that she'd rather burn in hell with Lucifer than to feel Heaven's bittersweet paradise for her that awaits her if she was granted access.

 

She wanted to kill, swift and easy while Dean wanted to spill and relish the moment of every kill.

 

When they couldn't take it out on each other, they took it out on their prey.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**Just gonna stand there and watch me burn** _  
>  _**But that's all right because I like the way it hurts** _  
>  _**Just gonna stand there and hear me cry** _  
>  _**But that's all right because I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**Oh, I love the way you lie** _
> 
>  

 

 

 It hurt, it started to hurt so bad.

 

Every repressed emotion that was kept under lock and key was always triggered by events like this, the fighting and the blaming. It was the damn cycle all over again, they're both burning themselves to the ground, they're both addicted to the familiar heart, the burning awareness that one of them was soon going to erupt, they were sick in the head with that because for all its worth, they liked it.

 

They savored the feeling like it was some big juicy steak. 

 

 

While Dean was the sadist, she was the masochist.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**So maybe I'm a masochist** _  
>  _**I try to run but I don't want to ever leave** _  
>  _**Til the walls are goin' up** _  
>  _**In smoke with all our memories** _

 

 

 

 

 Hunting.

 

It was a life they could leave for a while but it always comes back and haunts them but the moment every Hunter spilled their first Supernatural blood, they know they couldn't get out even if they tried because the only way out is through Death's door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**This morning, you wake, a sun ray hits your face** _  
>  _**Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction** _  
>  _**Hush baby, speak softly, tell me how awfully sorry** _  
>  _**That you pushed me into the coffee table last night** _  
>  _**So I can push you off me** _
> 
>   
>  _**Try and touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me** _  
>  _**Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy** _  
>  _**Baby, without you, I'm nothing, I'm so lost, hug me** _  
>  _**Then tell me how ugly I am, but that you'll always love me** _
> 
>   
>  _**Then after that, shove me, in the aftermath of the** _  
>  _**Destructive path that we're on, two psychopaths but we** _  
>  _**Know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs** _  
>  _**That we'll have each others backs, 'cause we're that lucky** _  
>  _**Together, we move mountains, let's not make mountains out of molehills,** _
> 
>   
>  _**You hit me twice, yeah, but who's counting?** _  
>  _**I may have hit you three times, I'm startin' to lose count** _  
>  _**But together, we'll live forever, we found the youth fountain** _
> 
>   
>  _**Our love is crazy, we're nuts, but I refused counseling** _  
>  _**This house is too huge, if you move out I'll burn all two thousand** _  
>  _**Square feet of it to the ground, ain't shit you can do about it** _  
>  _**With you I'm in my fuckin' mind, without you, I'm out it** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _This is the story of Sam and Dean Winchester, two brothers who lived a very unhealthy codependent lifestyle, too prideful to say I'm sorry and too stubborn to die and live without one another. May they rest in pieces._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> _**Just gonna stand there and watch me burn** _  
>  _**But that's all right because I like the way it hurts** _  
>  _**Just gonna stand there and hear me cry** _  
>  _**But that's all right because I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**I love the way you lie** _  
>  _**I love the way you lie** _

 

 

 

She let the last line lingered a bit and stopped.

 

She felt something wet on her cheek and wiped it with the back of her hand, it was tears, she was crying again. But the truth was that she never stopped crying in the first place, she held it in because she was afraid, afraid of someone finding out and afraid of losing this second chance. "Why is it that every time I see you, you're always crying, Babydoll?" Gabriel asked solemnly, he was there the moment Dean told him that he and Sam had a fight.

 

The song that she sang was sung with every fiber of her being, it was just sad. The way each lyric reflected her life and the way she struggled, it was enough to even make him cry and nothing makes him cry unless the event was truly heart wrenching but with Sam, she wears her emotions like it was her everyday plaid, it didn't matter to her if it got hurt, she was too nice, too considerate but one thing no one and can deny was that she's genuine with her words and actions.

 

"Come down here, Babydoll." He said softly as if he was coaxing a fledging. He noticed her reluctance but waited and when she slid down, she was still glued to the car with the guitar clutched tightly in her hands. He took a few steps forward and sighed, he could damn his height later, Gabriel tucked the loose strands of her hair at the back of her ear. Yes, he was on his tippy toes just so he could reach her, she was a tall woman, sue him.

 

He thumbed her tears away and she sighed. _Even when she was just crying, she still looks beautiful._ Gabriel thought and pulled his hands back only to be surprised when Sam put her head on his shoulder, her warm breath tickled his neck but luckily he wasn't sensitive there. "Why do I feel like I suddenly have the fate of the world in my hands?" She asked while Gabriel ran a hand through her hair. "You don't have to carry it if you don't want to, Sam, no one is forcing you to carry it." He replied while she took a shuddering sigh. "Then who'll take my place, Loki? Who can bear my cross for me when I can barely stand on my own two feet?" He removed her from his shoulder and had an eye to eye with her.

 

 

Golden whiskey shot eyes met bright expressive emerald hues.

 

"You don't have to do this alone, Sam, you have to let someone in to help you carry that cross."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

He stayed with her.

 

 

Even when she told him that she'll be alright, he didn't want to take a snowball chance in hell. He held her close in his arms as she slept soundly and he noticed that when she sleeps the mental block is weaker, enough for him to see what she's thinking but stopped himself. He won't let curiosity get the better of him, he didn't want to betray her trust by going through her mind.

 

He busied himself by taking notice of her, her long light brown hair fell like curtains and it was soft to the touch and does justice on how it looks. Her lashes were naturally long and curved, she was pressed unto his side and he's drinking in her sleeping sight like a thirsty wolf but he'd rather like her awake and let those expressive green hues grow big and he's not going to deny himself that a woman like Sam gets him going but she was different.

 

Gabriel felt unsure of what's really happening to him, there was a certain block in his own mind that bothers him and images, he keeps seeing another version of Sam and another version of reality. _Was it Dad? What does he want?_. He thought and sighed, seeing things and emotional assault wasn't good. He was seeing himself as Gabriel, not Loki and dying. It wasn't his memories but he could speculate that it came from another reality, a reality where he died to protect Sam and Dean.

 

 

He wondered whether these feelings were even his? 

 

 

He turned to his side where he saw this beautiful creature sleep soundlessly, it was all tied to her. A person who made bad decisions, a person who beats herself constantly, he was lost on how he could help her when her own brother causes her pain? Speaking of, his golden eyes narrowed with the thought of Dean, he knows that the older Winchester was frustrated with a lot of things but the last thing he'd expect from him was to pull a Michael and blame it on Lucifer shtick.

 

He brushed her cheek with the lightest touch, skin so soft yet exposed to such a rough life. If he wanted something, he always got it and what did he want with Sam?

 

What did he want with this person when the feelings he's feeling might not be his own?

 

 

He needed a distraction.

 

 

Gabriel carefully got out of the warm embrace and snapped a pillow to replace his spot and smiled seeing how Sam snuggled to the pillow, he pulled the blanket to cover her and thought of Sam being alone made him scowl as the feelings were against it so he decided to let his dog, Sir Maxi Spot, a full grown corgi with brown-yellowish and white scheme, watch over the sleeping woman. "Keep an eye on her, Maxi." He ordered and the corgi laid down on the foot of the bed.

 

Satisfied, he disappeared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

Dean was uneasy as he left Sam alone.

 

 

But a part of his mind told him that Loki was probably there with Sam but he shook the feeling of the doubt so he sat up with the key in his hand, he went to the nearest door and inserted the key, a slight hesitation...

 

Sam was already in a tough spot and stressing her out wasn't his intention, he loves his sister but the problem was that there are too many questions that need answers and he took it out on Sam, Sam who always let him take the lead, she who always has his back and he just did a dick move, fuck. He turned the knob quietly seeing it as it was late, she was probably asleep.

 

But a dog barking loudly and loud crashes met his ears.

 

He rushed to the scene and saw a tiny pooch barking while Sam... Sam! He saw his sister was fighting a cloaked being and struggling. "Sam!" He shouted and was pushed back hard and his vision was slightly blackened but pulled himself together when he saw the bastard was trying to suck the life out of Sam, she was struggling. "D-dean..." And he saw red as he took the shotgun hidden under the bed and aimed at the bastard.

 

He almost lost Sam once, he wasn't going to lose her permanently.

 

 

It took three bullets and the bastard died while Sam was taking in the oxygen she'd missed. "You alright?" He asked while she did a thumbs up and took a shuddering sigh. "Who's the pooch?" He asked noticing the tiny Paris Hilton dog who made his way to Sam and nuzzled her leg. "P-probably Loki's dog." She croaked and he helped her sat up.

 

They stayed in silence for a while. "Sam-" She just laid her head on his shoulder. "Can we just get some sleep?" He chuckled and carried her to the bed while the dog obediently followed them and peered at Sam who was looking at the pooch and rolled her eyes, she patted the bed and he jumped on it. "Really?" Dean asked while she raised a brow at him. "He's adorable, what do we do about the witch?" She asked, as much as she was glad that it's dead, she wouldn't take a chance in sleeping with a corpse in their room. "You rest while I burn this sonvabitch." He said while Sam was about to protest, Dean gave her a stern look of _Don't Argue With Me_ while she sighed. "Fine..." Dean carried the body out and she, she just cleaned the room as best as she can.

 

Then she laid down and felt something wiggled in her arms, oh right... She looked at the dog curiously and searched if he had a dog tag or something. 

 

_Sir Maxi Spot_

 

The dog tag said while she deadpanned but shrugged it off. "Let's go to sleep then, Maxi." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Gabriel found himself in bed with his on again and off again lover, Kali.

 

It was an intense passion that he was addicted to, the woman was sure as hellfire kinky but one thing he didn't like about Kali was the amount of pride and ego that she has that could match Lucifer or outmatch him. "What's on your mind?" Her voice was sultry and could give any man a hard-on by it but fortunately, he wasn't just any man or just a Pagan God.

 

He's an Archangel for his Father's sake!

 

"Nothing except your beautiful ass, love." He replied in his usual flirtation gimmick, Kali hummed in approval as she let her hand wander to places that would make any man groan but he knows all of Kali's tricks especially when in bed because when she wants something, she tries hard to get it because she knows she can. "Is there anything you need?" He asked while the dark-haired beauty turned to him with narrowed eyes. "You have been with another woman, Loki."  _Not this again._ He thought morosely and losing the last bit of lust in his system. "You know I don't like exclusivity, Kali and I know you've been with countless others especially with Baldur, don't pull the exclusive card on me." He said while the woman settled herself on his lap.

 

"What does this woman offer you that I can't possibly do?" _H_ _ow about some humility?_ He simply gave his signature smirk and pulled the woman closer. "She can't, think of her as a plaything, naive and innocent are two of my favorite combinations, Kali and I love my woman with brains, not hearts." It felt bitter when he said that and Kali was pleased with his words but even when he laid with her.

 

All he could think of is Sam, her humility, her kindness and one-of-a-kind personality. He wanted to do wicked things to the woman who denies herself of pleasure, he imagined what her screams would sound like as he brings her to a cataclysmic orgasm or how dark would her green eyes be if it was shrouded in lust? He imagined it was Sam in his arms and not Kali, it was a cruel thing to do but he'll ignore the fact that Kali is doing the same thing to him.

 

He wanted Sam but he didn't know what he exactly feels, sex and lust he knows but love?

 

Father help him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

The room was a mess.

 

 

Gabriel was shocked when he found out that the Shtriga attacked Sam when left, it also filled him regret that he shouldn't have left her in the first place because if Dean didn't arrive in time to save Sam... She would've died because he left to do business and now thinking of what happened a few hours ago made him feel dirty and guilty. "I'm fine, I swear." She was telling the truth, just a few bruises that'll heal in time. "I have this little guy helping after all. " She added and maxi barked happily as he let Sam gave him a belly rub.

 

He eyed Maxi. "You are such a slut for rubs, Maxi." Dean snorted while the corgi just barked and eyes Sam with those beady eyes of him begging for a cuddle while Sam laughed for a bit, she indulged the little pooch and when she turned around carrying the dog gently, Maxi peered from Sam's shoulder to stare at his Master with a look of satisfaction and a paw tapping saying _Mine_ and for adding insult to injury, he nuzzled the same side where Gabriel laid his head.

 

 

Dean will pretend that he didn't see Loki and his dog having a staredown because of Sammy.  _'_ _Of all the being on planet Earth, you gotta attract with power-ups.'_ He thought then smirked seeing the blush that dusted his sister's cheeks, he can't say it was one-sided when the guy basically introduced his dog to her, it's like a Dad introducing his kid to his potential new Mom...

 

But wait, didn't Loki have kids?

 

 

"So, where are you guys headed now?" Gabriel asked as he snacked on a Twix bar. "To the next hunt that Sam finds." The said woman with the corgi in her lap smiled knowingly. "I got a call from a friend of mine in Upstate New York, her name is Sarah Blake, apparently her Dad auctioned off a painting called _Provenance_ and the said painting has a lot of dark history since whoever owns the painting dies with slit throats. After the painting was sold to the Telesca couple both of them died in their bed with slit throats inside their state of the art security locked house."  Dean and Gabriel were looking at her with varying degrees of impressiveness.

 

"Wait, Sarah Blake? That chick who kissed you after you ganked the witch who almost killed her, Stanford Days Sarah Blake?" Dean asked while Sam coughed awkwardly and nodded while Gabriel raised a brow then wolf whistle. "You. Innocent little sweet Sammy batting for the same team?" He may be joking in the inside but what Gabriel felt was something akin to jealousy, someone other than him kissed Sam. The burning ugly feeling didn't leave him and it didn't fade away due to an insistent brother's teasing.

 

"Sammy's a happy Bi, she bats for both teams, ain't that right, Sunshine?" She was red as a tomato but even if she tried to glare at her brother, it only served to amuse him more seeing as she looked like she was pouting than glaring murderously at him. "Come one, Maxi, let's go get breakfast." The dog happily barked and they walked away with Sam trying to gather the rest of herself before embarrasses herself more, she didn't want to give Dean any more ammunition much less Gabriel!

 

 

What she didn't notice as she walks out from them was they both had eyes on her ass. 

 

 

 

"Impressive"

 

"I better hope you're referring to Sam's hidden side and not her ass." 

 

"Why can't it be both? You were eyeing her ass too, Dean-O!"

 

 

Outside the door, Sam heard a cock of a shotgun and sighed. "They're crazy, aren't they, Maxi?" She asked the pooch who was happily trailing behind her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  _ **Provenance...**_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **Loki/Gabriel**
> 
>  
> 
> **Sam & Dean Winchester**
> 
>  

 

 

Luckily.

 

They were in the guest list this time but the look on Sarah's face when she saw Sam was a complete and utter surprise, the last time she saw Sam was two years back and she was wearing plaid and jeans like your average girl with a cute dimpled smile and those puppy dog eyes that could melt anyone's heart but seeing dressed up like a woman on a mission, granted she was on a mission but this was different.

 

Heck, even her brother was different and their friend wasn't bad on the eyes either.

 

She wanted to go to them but she had to get the records that Sam asked for and besides, she seems to be busy with her new company.

 

 

Sam mused at Gabriel's style because it reminded her of a certain blue-eyed angel, a nostalgic memory turned bittersweet when she was reminded of the fate that had befallen on Castiel, he died for Dean and Dean died for her... The back seat of the Impala, she pushed back the memory and focused on what happens now.  _Team Free Will 2.0, A Trickster_ _Who Is Really An Archangel In Hiding, A Supernatural Tolerating Dean and A Time-Travelling Genderbent Ex-Blood Junkie On The Verge of Insanity_. She thought and despite the memory of the past haunting her, she managed to smile.

 

 

Gabriel noticed the quirked lips of the female Winchester and raised a brow. "Something amusing, you?" He asked while Sam blinked for a bit then hummed. "Just a thought, Loki." She replied and while she eyed the other paintings, she also took notice of her brother talking to the Upstate elites and chuckled because her brother could charm anyone well except for a certain someone who was obtuse to any form of flirtation.

 

 

 

She and Gabriel were browsing through the various paintings but one particular painting stood out, they both stopped in front of it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **The Archangel Gabriel**
> 
> _Sheila Diemert_
> 
>  

 

 

Gabriel wanted to snort.

 

He'd seen so many of the paintings, sculptures and various other forms of art with him or his brothers, some exaggerated and others were just weird in his general opinion but he'll leave it to those religious fanatics, it's hard to correct them after so many centuries had passed. He was ready to move on and forget but woman beside him had her eyes glued to the piece. "Is it silly of me to say that I still pray to the Archangel Gabriel?" He was surprised at that comment and it was another painful stab of guilt in him, the majority of the world is still praying for an angel that no longer wants to be who he was before.

 

"Why's that?" He kept his voice in neutral while Sam never took her eyes off the painting. "He's the Archangel of Guidance, Clarity, Deliverance and at times Healing and Mercy. I pray to him because I ask if he could deliver a message to my Mom, to tell her how sorry I am for getting her killed and how I'm taking care of Dean and Dad when they're both recklessly rushing into things and at times, to God... I just want answers for why my life is this way and generally, to him. Asking him if he could watch over my brother and my Father, both of them have scars that run deep and I can't heal them alone."  _Especially with what I'm about to do._ She said softly and glanced at her silent companion.

 

He looked like he had a forlorn expression and he was trying to mask it but was failing.

 

"Are you always this devout?" He asked while she gave a bittersweet smile. "I'm not a church-going type if that's what you're implying, I... I just want to believe that there is some place out there to go to after this life, a place where there are beings that could watch over the people I care about when they have passed on and beings strong enough to make sure my brother and Father stay there and not go back to the land of the damn." Gabriel gave her a sharp look while she sighed. "Samshine, we already had this talk." He said evenly and tried to get his temper in control, this woman was unnaturally stubborn.

 

"I had demon blood in my veins since I was an infant even if it was removed from my veins the likelihood of my soul being tainted is there and I'm Lucifer's vessel, do you really think I'd passed those golden gates without scrutiny?" Even she had to cringe at the thought of being back in Heaven, Zachariah ruined that experience for her while Gabriel mentally counted to ten and back. The woman had a squeaky clean bright pure soul and she thinks she's going to hell? He was going to smite Azazel on the spot if he gets the chance.

 

Because he was also getting a memory, a male Sam and him talking about Heaven and how that self-important jackass of a brother he calls Zachariah ruined it for him.

 

 

  
"We are talking about this later, Sam."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

Talking with Sarah relieved her of some stress.

 

 

 

And she also missed talking to the sass and class woman, she was a sure spitfire that could give any man a run for their money and once upon a time she managed to kiss her but she prefers this casual friendship, she can talk about all those meaningless things that Dean doesn't want to even know. "These are all the records of the painting." She thanked Sarah and smiled. "Thank you, Sarah. We'll manage from here on out." The two of them talked some more and it seemed to relax her further and take some time before her impending talk with Gabriel.

 

"So..." Sarah dragged as she eyed Sam and the stranger in the trenchcoat. "So?" Sam mimicked out of good humor while Sarah nudged her. "Who's the new member of the exclusive Winchester business?" A waiter passed by them and offered some refreshments they thanked him for it and walked around the auction house. "He's a friend of mine..." She said a bit perturbed at the thought if she accidentally blurted out the fact that he's actually a Pagan God like he introduced himself, so far, Sarah didn't question it.

"Just a friend? Sam, even if I'm not around much to tell what's going on between the two of you the heated looks he's sending to any guy with the intention to talk to you is a red card." Sarah pointed out while Sam raised a brow. "I thought it was Dean, didn't realize Loki was doing it too." Sarah wanted to facepalm.

 

 

Honestly, the girl had the most uncanny blindspot.

 

 

  
"Didn't he take you out shopping?" Sarah inquired, she was silently thanking the guy who managed to make Sam sit still and dress the girl up other than her jeans and plaids. "Yeah, France and Japan." She replied softly and a small smile tugged her lips remembering the day that transpired. Sarah noticed that smile, it was like the woman just fell in love for the first time and honestly, she prefers Sam smiling than being aloof. "You got it bad, girl." Sarah pointed out while Sam blushed and shook her head. "No... just no, my life is complicated as it is and adding the unneeded romance would just be unfavorable." She said while the black-haired woman sighed at her friend's stubbornness or in this case, a big dosage of denial.

 

 

 

 

After they talked a bit, Sarah noticed that Loki took her friend away while Dean was left with her, scowling. "Just because I tolerate the prick doesn't mean I want him to be around my sister, alone." He said while Sarah giggled, it was so like the older brother to protect his little sister. "You know that Sam is a grown woman, right?" She said while Dean rolled his eyes. "Woman or girl, I'm still her older brother." He stated while Sarah sighed exasperatedly. "Even I can tell there's something between them and I know that you've noticed that too." She said carefully while the older Winchester surprised her by sighing.

 

"I know, it's just that our Dad told me that I have to take care of Sammy and like any older brother who wants the best for their sister, I want her to be happy... I don't want to see her in a relationship that's half-assed and with a guy who doesn't deserve her." Sarah knew that Dean was a tough nut but hearing the older brother's statement made her think he was a cookie with a soft and gooey center.

 

 

"Aw."

 

 

"This does not reach her ears." Sarah made a zipping motion but when they both saw the two, Loki and Sam, they were both stuck in some sort of awkward tension. "Honestly, they said they're only friends but even I can sense the sexual tension even from here," Dean said with an almost amused tone while Sarah agreed.

 

 

"It's still cute, a short guy and tall gal."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

After the talk with Sarah.

 

 

 

 

Gabriel smiled pleasantly at her friend which gave her a small painful lump in her chest but brushed it off when he looped his arm around her waist and they promptly walked away, outside.

The next thing she knew they were in a garden full of flowers and some of which she knows that grows only in a certain region or country in a specific season. They passed by the flowers and headed towards the gazebo. She opened her mouth to ask something but found it hard to since she didn't have a voice, to begin with, and looked at Gabriel with a surprised and annoyed look.

 

 

"Apparently, the last talk with you didn't help at all." He stated while she sighed and sat on the chair that appeared out of thin air, might as well since this will be long and the heels aren't helping her case. "Samantha Evelyn Winchester, how many times does a supernatural being capable of sensing souls and their states have to tell you that you're pure, your soul and generally, you are a pure person." She thankfully didn't have a voice to protest because she was anything but pure, college does that to a person.

 

 

She just settled for looking away and gritting her teeth, it's not because she was ungrateful of what he did or that amounting trust he put on her, it was because of past life experiences.

 

It was her general reaction.

 

She's a damn Winchester too! Emotional redundancy and trauma stay even when they get help for it, it's permanently ingrained for her since she can thank God for the photographic memory.

Gabriel was seriously questioning himself, the _how's_ and _why's_ of his life and the big question...

 

Why in his Father's name is he attracted to this stubborn woman?!

  
She has no trouble in helping someone see their own self-worth but when it comes to her own well-being, it was just talking to a brick wall that he wanted to smash but sadly the brick wall was made by his Dad so it's smite-proof! He wanted to take a peek in her mind just so he can see why he does this to herself?

 

Just a small peek damn it!

 

"Sam." It was a tone she was familiar with, it wasn't laced with mischief or mirth but pure unadulterated seriousness that speaks Archangel Gabriel. She turned her head to his direction and yelped in surprise when he was just centimeters away from her face. She tried to back away but she was technically pinned by the sofa and him. She pushed him a bit that indicated he should back off a bit.

 

Did he listen? No.

 

  
He rested his hands on the armrest and his gaze was absolutely smoldering because those normally chill whiskey hues were bright like melted gold. "You're lucky you have a mental block, Sammy girl because if you don't I'd settle for you being pissed at me for invading your mind than letting yourself dive in a dark pool that you can barely swim out of." He whispered in her ear while she was surprised by the mental block, the threat made her raise red card and one thing she didn't think she'd do.

 

She kneed him in the crotch. _Hard_.

 

 

 

And he howled in pain.

 

 

 

 

 

  
What the... hell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

They were stuck at a standstill.

 

 

 

 

He returned her voice after he got some ice pack for his little buddy and they didn't speak to each other for a while, Gabriel sat on the chair she had previously occupied, she was sitting on the armrest and biting her lower lip nervously. He was worried yes but having him invade her personal space and threatening to read her mind without consent warranted a kick to the balls and honestly, she thought it wouldn't work but unfortunately for him, it did.

 

 

"... I guess I owed that." He started off while she scoffed a bit. "... Loki, you threaten to read my mind, if my brother was anywhere near the vicinity he'd be emptying the shotgun in your face and balls." She said evenly while Gabriel cringed knowing full well that Dean wouldn't hesitate to do so.

 

A few more minutes passed.

 

 

  
"I'm sorry I kneed you in the crotch." She said and Gabriel chuckled despite the pain in the lower region, he couldn't stay mad at her. "Stop apologizing, I know I can be a grade A douche when no one stops me, I'm the one that supposed to be the one apologizing, Babydoll." He said and when the pain finally subsided the ice pack disappeared and he rested his back against the chair and for good ol' measure, he wrapped an arm around Sam's waist and she landed on his lap.

"You seriously want me to anywhere near your buddy after I just kneed you?" She asked as she twisted around to look at him. They were in an odd position, Gabriel was sitting with both his feet planted on the floor and arms around her wait and her body was facing to the left with her legs were dangling freely while she was facing Gabriel with a questioning look. "You did that out of self-defense and it's even in my book since I was being a douche." He basically buried his head on her shoulder.

 _'Take that, poochie, she's mine again!'_ He smirked knowing that Maxi is going to smell that soon but relished the moment, he never had moments like this with Kali because with that woman it's always burning intense rigorous sex.

 

 

Sex, not lovemaking.

 

 

 

As much as he loves Kali when they have their fun time, they both know that a relationship that's only sexually filled is a relationship that's going down South but he crossed the line when he imagined that his partner wasn't the _Indian Goddess of Destruction_ but the kind, compassionate, witty and undeniably sexy woman on his lap.

It was a cruel thing to do to a partner, imagining someone else in their place because you can't have or get the person that you want, he could try to turn up the seduction and get what he wants from Sam but that didn't even feel remotely right. The woman already has self-worth issues and if he did something that vicious so he could figure out what he remotely feels about her, who knows what damage she could do to herself.

 

 

He sighed deeply, he knows she wouldn't blame him but she'll blame herself before she'll put the blame on him and he feels like he'd been dumped with spoiled chocolate, he didn't like it at all. "Loki, what's wrong?" Her leather-clad hands touched his cheek and rather than her shoulder, he was faced with those, honest to his Father, unearthly green hues sprinkled with golden specks were going to be his undoing.

 

 

 

He can't cheat an honest man.  _Much less, Samantha Evelyn Winchester, Miss Who Wears Her Heart On Her Sleeve._

 

 

It was just so expressive, every emotion displayed was something that Kali will never be, he would be considered a fool to let someone like Sam slip through his fingers. "Honestly, Samshine... There's a lot of things wrong with me and you're just here being you making me feel that I've made bad decisions." Sam didn't honestly know how to respond but gasped in surprise when she felt those lips briefly on hers.

 

 

 

 

"But I know what I want and I'm not letting you go that easily."

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Dilemma.

  
After their moment, Gabriel snapped them back in the auction house and what seemed like hours for them was only a few minutes by the clock and as much as she wants to be happy and to stop the pounding of her heart, she didn't want this to happen. It was too soon and she can't afford any distractions from anyone, she just can't because one little mistake could cost her _everything_.

 

Did she want this or need this?

 

 _'But you liked it even before, you'd wish that he would just kiss you rather than tease you endlessly, right?'_ Her mind was being a traitor and reminding her of the previous life, the life when she held annoyance and contempt for the angel who sacrificed his life for them.

 

 

 

The annoying cocky son of a bitch who ate too many sweets that by just looking at him eating it made his teeth ache, the person who admittedly cared about him and his brother and died by giving him a sweet lingering look before he faded away. And here was a chance that presented itself with a pretty bow, a chance that Samuel Winchester lost but Samantha Winchester gained.

 

 

 

 

Would she really risk it?

 

For a love that never happened, would she really allow herself to be happy? She groaned in pain as the situation was giving her a headache and heartache... Why didn't she see this coming?

 

_God, you are such an assbutt._

 

 

They managed to eliminate the problem with two additional members who kicked some ghostly ass even if it was just one little deranged psychopathic little girl. Rather than staying with Dean and Gabriel, she opted to stay with Sarah in her family penthouse, it wasn't the fact that the kiss bothered her but it was just the emotions... She was comparing and calculating the _what-ifs_ of her life and epically failing, sure she had a lot to say to reject Gabriel but that was in the _past_ , the past that had yet to exist in her new life. "What's eating you, Sam?" Sarah asked as she plopped down on the bean bag near Sam with a bowl of strawberries and three kinds of chocolate dips on a tray and placed it on the carpeted floor.

 

She contemplated whether she'll tell or not but with her previous experiences with women, they were _relentless_ when trying to pry information.

 

 

"It's Loki-""Ha! I knew something was going on!" Sarah cut her off excitedly while Sam had an annoyed expression at first for being cut off but the annoyance morphed into confusion. "What do you mean?" She asked while Sarah just gave her a _'Are You Serious?'_ look while Sam honestly gave her the puppy look of confusion. "Both your brother and I can sense something going on between you, Hell ... _Your brother_ can sense it, Sam, didn't you say that Dean was _emotionally_ _constipated_ when it comes to feelings?" Sarah said while the green-eyed girl bit her thumb and furrowed her brows. "He usually is..." She mumbled a reply while Sarah waved it off. "Tell me what happened between you and Loki, I want details, every single one." And they say demons were scary, they haven't experienced the relentlessness of women when it comes to finding out the truth or details.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
"....He..kissed...me..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

The entirety of Upstate could hear a squeal so loud that it originated from the Blake residences.

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

She didn't get to sleep very well.

 

Sam wasn't even remotely prepared when she saw both Dean and Gabriel together, she prayed to God that the Archangel didn't say anything to Dean because it would just mean hell for her, she approached them with tentative steps because Sarah, the vulture, she was right behind her with a smirk that could make a demon cringe. "Wow, you look like crap," Dean said while Sam flipped him off. "" You're not even remotely pleasing to the eyes without moisturizer." She said evenly while Dean scowled at her which was easily brushed off. "Everything good?" Gabriel asked while it took Sam a while to process.

 

A long while to process that caused Dean to be suspicious and Sarah giggling.

 

 

 

"Peachy..."

 

 

 

The four of them went out breakfast before the Winchester leave to another case but what made Sam queasy was the booth style seats and Sarah wasn't making it any easier for her when she insisted that Dean goes in first and Sarah was facing her since Loki insisted that she goes in first. The _'U'_ shaped booth was cozy and spacious but the fact remains that Gabriel was literally glued to her side and Sarah was just giving her the wiggly brows that she groaned in embarrassment and hid her face in the menu. "Alright, Samantha, what have you two been doing last night?" Dean eyed the two women with a questioning look. "Girl Talk" The way Sarah said it like it was normal made Dean guffawed at the fact that his sister, bookworm, and logic ruling extraordinaire would do something ... He hasn't seen.

 

 

God.

 

 

 

"Seriously, Sammy?" The said woman ignored them happily hiding her flushed face behind the menu but the nudge on her right, a glance and she cursed mentally. She has a mental block but Sarah doesn't so that means that the God beside her knows _exactly_ what happened during the night. "You could've just talked to me, Babydoll." The amused tone in his voice made her shrink and Dean remained happily clueless. Thankfully, the waiter came and took their order but when her food came, there was something else on it that made her raise a brow.

 

 

"Excuse me but I didn't order this." She stated politely seeing the bowl of strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries with a whip cream top and chocolate syrup and a single white rose. The rest of her companion looked interested and one mildly irritated, it didn't take a genius to guess. "It came from the gentleman over there, Miss." The waiter happily replied, he probably got a good tip for that one.

 

"Oh damn... Sam, remember that guy who I told you about, Blaise Bass?" _Oh damn_. Stanford Days are catching up to her fast. "I didn't see him for three years, what happened?" The two men were oblivious but let the women do their thing. "Drugs, Public Property Damages, Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment. Like he was possessed, his life turned a 180 degree by stopping it and now he's the bad boy of the Upstate Elite and what he wants, he gets." Sarah said while Sam looked up from Sarah to see those silver-blue eyes stare back at her.

 

 

 

"It may be a possibility that he is possessed but don't rule out the possibility he may be human that did those blue moon transformation." She said while the black haired woman puffed. "Done? Great. Now tell." Dean said while Sam lightly nudges him with her leg. "Rich spoiled brat that I met during my Freshmen Year, the same year I met Sarah when we have this _Meet-Ups_. Blaise was this party animal who likes getting shitfaced drunk, stoned or high and hedonistic acts that'll shame the Greeks. I blame Brady and Lory for dragging me to a party." She said with a wave of her hand then sat back remembering the first meeting.

 

  
The half-naked crowd, ear-splitting music and people who lost all of their inhibition for logical thinking...

 

 

 

  
"I wish I could forget some of those parties," Sam uttered while Dean cocked a brow. "Some?" He parroted while Sarah snorted. "I heard from Jess that one party was raided, is that true?" The scowl that Sam had was an indication that they needed. "It was sickening, they'd use a party as a disguise to distribute drugs to the customers... That one party that was raided was my first introduction to Blaise and the second one was when I hauled his beaten ass off the road and dropped him off at **Health Services** and since then he'd be this unexpected bomb that drops in every now and then." She said a bit troubled while Gabriel took her unoccupied hand and gave a comforting squeeze.

 

 

She squeezed back.

 

 

 

 

"Want me to threaten him?" Dean asked with a serious expression while Sam smiled endearingly at him. "It's not worth it, Dean. We're dropping off the grid anyway." She eyed the dessert, it was such a waste if it was untouched. "Anyone want one?" She'll just indulge with the people she cares about.

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

After breakfast, Dean and Sarah went off to God knows where since dear big brother wasn't satisfied with the information given and rather than pester her, he'd pester the woman who wasn't immune to the Dean Winchester charm. "So..." Gabriel started while he eyed the tall woman who was looking straight ahead, she inclined her head to the side to indicate that she was listening to him. "Are we talking about with what happened or not?" He asked while Sam slowed down and halted to a stop when they reached an empty park bench. "Normally, it's the girl that asks." She said as she sat down while Loki remained standing, looking at her with those eyes that haunted her.

 

 

 

 

"Let's not be a sexist here, Samshine. I'm not a patient guy nor am I the sharing kind." He said with his ever-present smirk that faltered a bit seeing Sam sighed. "Loki... With my kind of life, there are times I'd be doing things that normally cause a question in one's sanity and besides, you're a great guy do you honestly see yourself being monogamous with a mortal woman?" It was a valid point and seeing the emotions that passed through her eyes made him sigh.

 

 

 

"I'd never hurt you, Sam."

 

 

 

 

"But you might whether it's consciously on unconsciously. What makes me so special from the rest apart from the pure soul you keep telling me?" She was pleading some sort of answer because it hurts her if that's the only reason why he's staying. The Archangel cursed softly and sat next to the woman who is so unsure of herself, so unsure of her own worth. "Because you're one-of-a-kind, I may have been around for a long time but I have never met someone so ready to be a shield and forgive those who strike her down, someone who keeps everyone so close and protected like an Angel who's shielding her charges with her wings." She peered into his eyes, his eyes were sincere that she brushed his cheek.

 

 

She felt the warmth and the closely hidden Grace under the skin and she took a chance by tracing a finger to his lips and thumbed it softly. "Calling me an Angel is a bit of a stretch when you're the Angel who caught me when I was falling..." _Literally an Archangel._ Sam said and leaned in a bit with her forehead on his.

 

 

 

"Close your eyes..." _And let be selfish._

 

 

  
It was just perfect.

 

 

 

> _Didn't Judas give a kiss to Jesus when he betrayed him?_

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

  

Her lips were the sweetest thing he added to his list.

 

It was soft like bubblegum but he wondered what she'd taste like? Gabriel held himself back when their innocent kiss lingered, by his Father's name, he wanted to devour her. Her smile at the end was something he'd want to see every day and with the bloody Apocalypse on its way, he doubted that Sam could smile like that again and that made him scowl.

 

 

His Father left them with the _End of the World_ Scripture but he never said they have to go through with it because no one was setting it in motion but if the news in the Angel Radio was right, Michael and Raphael were preparing for it. And those two thousand years of peace was going to end with a big bang.

 

 

He didn't want that. He likes Earth a lot and it's people, especially it's people...

 

 

 

 

They had the capability they never had and that was the capability to make a choice.

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 Sam and Dean were on the road when Dean's phone rang...

 

 

"Hello?... Dad, where the hell have you been?"

 

 

Crap.

 

 

 It's time to meet up with Dad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Forgiven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #10
> 
> Dad wanted us to meet him and that we did, Bobby told us that he'd follow us and I can't begin how I'd start to explain the Apocalypse, vessels and everything shitty including dickbag Angels and manipulative Demons? 
> 
> Hate me for all I have done but please protect my loved ones.
> 
>  
> 
> \- S. W

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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>  _Forgive me now cause I_  
>  _Have been unfaithful_  
>  _Don't ask me why cause I don't know_
> 
>  _So many times I've tried_  
>  _But was unable_  
>  _This heart belongs to you alone_
> 
>  _Now I'm in our secret place_  
>  _Alone in your embrace_  
>  _Where all my wrongs have been erased_  
>  _You have forgiven_
> 
>  _All the promises and lies_  
>  _All the times I compromise_  
>  _All the times you were denied_
> 
>   
>  _You have forgiven_
> 
>  _ **-[Forgiven by Skillet](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8CkEbto2L0)**_
> 
> * * *
> 
> * * *

Meg wasn't pleased one bit.

 

 

The trap set for either of the Winchester but namely for John failed since neither showed up but some hapless Hunters in a big group that she had to retreat and rethink her plans to drive out the Winchesters because Azazel has been grating her nerves with his endless and redundant speeches of the Girl Who Would Be The Queen of Hell and she's not going to deny the raw potential of Sam Winchester, she had that similar aura of her Father, she was smart and most importantly from the news she heard from the grapevine, she was a rare case of Benefit of Doubt and Psychic. The she-demon saw what happened to the children who ingested demon blood, some succumb to the dark allures while other thrive and others, perished.

 

 

Sam was another case.

 

 

 

 

She didn't use a lick of her ability even when it manifested, of course, she was careful when she tracked the Winchester siblings until they disappeared and reappeared with a Pagan God of all things by the woman's side! Meg had to shake her heard in an absurd manner but when she was near enough to feel Sam, she was shocked beyond belief when she didn't sense a bit of profanity in her veins, the woman was clean as crystal water and her soul was nothing but mouthwatering pure that she wanted nothing more than sink her teeth into it. 

 

 

 

 

But other than the purity, she sensed power, clear untapped power waiting to be used. She waited patiently in the shadows for a chance, Azazel was wasted his time in trying to guzzle down demon blood in a person who just cleared it from her veins and not just that, the yellow-eyed fucker was creating an army trying to pit them against each other for a title meant for one person.  _'He finally lost his marbles.'_ She thought and scoffed, he's been on top for so long that the power got into his head and as far as she could see it, it'll be his undoing.

 

 

 

Sam Winchester is the true vessel of _their_ Father, it's an insult to think someone else could fill it and Sam will bring their Father back, as much as she didn't want to say it out loud but the said Winchester woman has a lot more followers than Azazel while that fucker rules with fear than respect, he preached more of Sam's greatness that his only mistake that he is unconsciously giving her more power but it's his mistake. She smirked as she cleaned off the blood from her hands as Pastor Jim laid dead, another plan forms in her mind, what if she brings Sam to her side?

 

To let the Huntress see that she has more sway than Azazel? Sam could rule and kill, hitting two bird with one stone but there's another hick in her plan since the Huntress was too smart for her own good, she didn't trust demons and for a right reason but the what if's haunt her mind...

 

 

She needs a word with Sam, without her brother or Father, Uncle and that annoyance of a Pagan God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

They were in a motel near Salvation.

 

 

The families that would be targeted that John managed to track down then it hit her, well, the damn vision hit her hard... The families and the car crash that would've been Dean's first encounter with Tessa the Reaper. "Sammy?" John went beside his daughter while Dean gave her the look in which she sighed, gripping her Dad's hand, she sought comfort and John understood that whatever she might tell will be huge. "You're going to need alcohol for this and anger management, Dad." Luckily, Bobby arrived on time and while the two paternal figures of her life sat in front of her, she didn't know what to do at this point.

 

Some things are easier said when it's in said in the head.

 

 

"How about I tell you the major thing... A friend of mine managed to get the demon blood out of my veins." She started out with the good one, the two were relieved of that. "Well, that's one thing to piss off the Yellow Eyes," John said with a slight twitch of his lips but Sam shook her head giving them both a somber look. "The demon blood may be gone but the abilities didn't go, my friend told me that my powers will grow in time and training." She said quietly letting the information sink in their minds, Bobby and John both took a long gulp of their beers.

 

 

"How is that possible?" Bobby asked curiously and worried for his adopted daughter and also keeping an eye on John, seeing the Winchester patriarch silent was making him worried for Sam. "I was born special and Dean is in the same pickle, he has superb sense and a top notched intuition." She said looking at her brother, who Bobby noticed was quiet through the explanation. "... Before the demon blood was cleared from my veins, I had a couple of visions that lead to... kids like me... Yellow Eyes infected other kids and by the time they reach the age of 22, their powers manifested and their mother killed and burned alive."  She still remembered Max, Andy, Ava... Jake and the others, their deaths by some sick twisted power hungry bastard.

 

 

She didn't realize she was shaking in angry when John just hugged her.

 

 

 

Sam expected him to be pissed off, to be more vocal or anything remotely far from what he's doing right now. "It wasn't your fault, Sammy." Those words just cracked her because those days of waterworks just fell and she clung to her Dad. "You didn't see what I saw... Those kids, those people... They didn't deserve it." She hiccuped while John just rocked her gently. "You can stop, for now, Sam-" "N-no... God, there's a bigger picture." She whispered hoarsely and Dean gritted his teeth, he hated seeing Sam like this or anyone he loves in a state of helplessness.

 

 

"Then what's the bigger picture?" Sam was quiet and buried her face unto her Father's chest, she'll miss this warmth when tries to kill her. 

 

 

 

"Azazel... That's his name, Mom's murderer. He's building an army of Special Children, an army for me." She didn't want to say it but things had to be different, they had to know so they could be better prepared. "...What the hell are you talking about?" Bobby was the one who asked while she pulled away from John, afraid to even look at her own Father's eyes, to see how monstrous he sees her. "Azazel has been spreading a propaganda among the entirety of Hell that I was going to be the Girl Queen of Hell that I was going to start the Apocalypse." Her voice wavered, she hated the sound of it and how each word felt heavy then the next. "Dean, is it true?" John asked his eldest and saw how downcast he was.

 

 

"Every fucking word. We don't have a choice on the matter." Dean hated it, hated the fact that some higher beings wanted this shitty throwdown to happen and they have no jack squat knowledge on how to stop it. "Why Sam of all the fucking people on Earth?" John felt his temper rising, he lost his wife to a demon and now he was going to lose his daughter because the same demon is going to take her to be the Queen of Hell? 

 

 

"Vessel, Dad, I'm going to be Lucifer's vessel to the Prom called the Apocalypse." She said and looked him in the eyes and John felt cold, her eyes were dead and defeated as if life was wearing her down. " You have to start explaining because we don't get the shit you're talking about, Sam," Bobby said while Sam launched a feeble explanation. "Remember how demons could possess a person without consent, Angels, on the other hand, need consent and from sources... Lucifer isn't a fallen angel but a banished one and locked up tight somewhere and he needs a vessel." The two men were a bit skeptics. "Sam, angels don't exist."Sure there are lores but the Apocalypse? Lucifer and Vessel?" John was losing his senses with the explanation his second oldest is telling him while Bobby is in the same boat.

 

"Maybe I could help on that matter?" Sam was surprised alongside with Dean when Loki appeared looking undoubtedly serious. "What the fuck?!" The two veteran Hunters jumped to their feet to grab the nearest artillery to fight the unexpected guest but the younger Hunters shielded Loki even if the God could take the bullets doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a bit. "Sam, Dean, back away from him-" "Don't! He's the one who helped us!" Sam was the one who said it while John and Bobby shook their heads. "Back away from him, Sammy, he might have just planted those thoughts in your head." John tried to reason with his daughter but Dean shook his head. 

 

 

 

"No, Dad, it's all real and no mumbo jumbo crap. This is Loki, Sam's best Pagan God friend." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
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This was not expected.

 

Loki sat at the bed near her while he explained everything he could to both stubborn hunters who refused to believe in the fact that the Apocalypse is fast approaching and that both Sam and Dean are major players in the field. "Why them? Why my kids?" Gabriel could feel the anguish the man felt hearing the fact that his son would be Micheal's vessel and his daughter would be Lucifer's vessel and they would be locked in a death match that could literally destroy half of the world. "If these two would refuse then you and that other kid of yours, Adam would be a candidate in being the head honcho's vessel" He felt sorry for the man who rapidly paled but Sam put a tentative hand on his shoulder and sighed.

 

 

 

"Yeah Dad, we know about Adam." But Bobby didn't and John got a good slap at the back of the head for that. "You big idjit!" Gabriel noticed how some of the tension left Sam's shoulder but some remained because her Father still hadn't made any major move but if he did, he'd take her far from him and all of this. He put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, those eyes were worried and hoped for the best, he offered a small smile and he wanted nothing more than to run a hand through her hair or pull her close for a hug but those would be considered inappropriate especially in front of her Father.

 

 

Dean snorted a bit, those two were stuck in their own comforting moment that they didn't realize that Bobby and their Father stopped arguing and noticed them too.  _'Jesus effing Christ, Sammy. Way to be obvious that you're interested in the prick.'_ He thought but smirked a bit, at least the prick helped calm Sam down before she explained the rest. "So all that time I tried to reach both of you, you were in Paris because he took you out shopping?" Bobby's voice raised a couple of decibels as he wanted an explanation on the new wardrobe that they acquired as well as the weaponry.

 

"Not just Paris, we also went to Japan to find some weapons to kill demons," Sam added while Dean chuckled. "I got pictures of Sammy in a dress!" "Wait... What?!" John watched his children bicker and it made him uneasy, he may not have the _Father of the Year_ award but that doesn't mean he loved his children less and hearing the news that his daughter is the Devil's meatsuit and his eldest son was going to be the Prince of Heaven's meatsuit gave him a near conniption, they were good kids that didn't need this crap but it still happens.

 

"Then how can we stop it?" John's question made the others quiet down. "What do you mean by that, Dad?" Dean asked while John locked eyes with Sam and the Dean and soon pulled them close to him.

 

 

"Like fuck, I'll let Heaven and Hell drag my kids into their pissing match." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
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He was lost.

 

 

When John married Mary and had their first kid, he felt that life was perfect with the woman he loved and a son he could raise then Mary announced that she was pregnant for the second time, times were rough before he married Mary and even when they were married, they struggled but when Dean was born, things looked up for them. But when Sam entered their lives, she was just like Mary.

 

She loved them unconditionally and even when Mary died that night, Sam clung to both of them and at that time he didn't know that she remembers every single thing about that night. The reoccurring nightmares and she blamed herself, his little girl who tried to make everything work without making a lip and he cursed himself for being blind on the matter. His little Sammy understood their situation and patiently stood by the side, she helped them back up.

 

Then she told them about her nightmares and how she remembers that night and what the demon did to her.

 

 

Apparently, Bobby knew for months now and Sam, she was afraid that he'll treat her like a monster for having demon blood in her veins, she was afraid of losing him and Dean, she was so very afraid and didn't know what to do. Bobby gave him the look and he knew he can't blame his little girl for something she can't fight off, he remembered that he hugged her closed and tight with Dean by her side as they comforted her.

 

Because no matter what happens, they are still a family.

 

 

Sam cried her heart out, she apologized so bad that it wasn't like when she got kidnapped by the Vampire who reminded of him of himself. It wasn't her fault and he was angry at the demon for a lot of things but what had him was the fact that Sam blamed herself for Mary's death and for the demon blood in her veins, he fought the thought of seeing his daughter as a monster because all he saw was how sacrificial she was...

 

How she sacrificed her future just to find him, out of all of them, Sammy was the one who had the shot to be better than any of them and she risked it all just to find him, Dean didn't even have to coax Sam, she didn't give second thoughts and just let the chance of that full ride to Med school. It made him feel guilty that his daughter who had demon blood, sacrificed a lot for him, for them... How was she was the monster in all of this?

 

Lucifer's vessel?

 

It wasn't fair.

 

 

 

Even they found out about Adam, Sam accepted and Dean eventually yielded because family is family and Adam has Winchester blood in his veins thus making him part of this crazy scheme. He ran a hand through his hair, Micheal and Lucifer, Dean and Sam... They were the key players and he was going to lose both of them if the Apocalypse happened but what was he going to do? 

 

He was just human, he made mistakes that he amended by being a better person and a better Father.

 

 

He is a Father of three and he didn't want to lose all of them in one major event, he just couldn't bear the thought of it because even with their minimalistic lifestyle, they were happier and closer... No, he won't lose them.

 

He'll fight both Heaven and Hell because unlike God, he isn't going to let his children fight this battle alone much less a deathmatch with each other.

 

John watched as the Pagan God, Loki... He wanted to get drunk because it seemed so surreal that this God was sure as hell making cow eyes at his daughter and even if he threatens the guy, Sam was most likely going to give him those puppy dog eyes that she inherited from Mary, he just can't say no to that, heck, even Dean and Bobby can't say no to her when she cranks those puppy eyes. Just because he cleared the demon blood from her veins, took his son and daughter to shop and gather information doesn't mean he gets a free pass on dating his daughter.

 

But seeing Sam smile like that, he felt doomed.

 

 

Of all the people and beings on Earth, she just had to fall for something supernatural but that doesn't mean he'll make it easy, after all, he is a Father and there's always a special shotgun in the truck reserved for threatening boys and he was a bit glad that he was going to use it...

 

 

Gabriel resisted the urged to shiver, it was the type of shiver when he knows he was about to be threatened by a Father or Brother or when he was about to be shot at by the said people...

 

He looked up from his conversation with Sam and eyed the direction of the Winchester patriarch and he was sure as Hell the look he was giving Dean was something that he should worry about if he didn't want bullet holes covering his vessel. "You alright, Loki?" Sam, who was inexplicitly was relaxed that she managed to get things off her chest. "I feel like your brother and Father are going to find ways on how to kill me." Bobby snorted and raised a brow. "Heck, I might just join them but Sam would just give me the stink eye." Cue the bitchface. "He helped us, Uncle Bobby. Why not give him the benefit of doubt?" Gabriel wanted to hug the woman but then again, a bad idea.

 

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for that." Sam was a bit of a skeptic but remembered something else and whispered something to Loki and the guy disappeared. "Where did your lover boy go, Sammy?" Dean asked while she scowled. "Friend, not lover boy, Dean." All three men snorted while Sam was confused. "What? It's true." It was a weak defense since all three of them knew that Sam was attracted to him too. "I'm just going to ignore the fact that the Pagan God is looking at my daughter like she was holding the Sun and Moon," John said while Sam tried to fight back the blush.

 

"Daaaaaaad." She said in embarrassment that Dean and Bobby laughed because it's rare to see the girl embarrassed. 

 

 

 

A box appeared in the middle of the room with Loki eating a pack of M&M's like no one's business.

 

 

 

 

"One magic box as the lady requested!" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Bobby was having his own nerdgasm.

 

 

 It was an Alchemy book from a bloody real alchemist with no demonic ties and the two bookworms were gushing, Dean shivered at the thought of seeing Bobby gushing and he shared a look with his Dad, who equally shared his displeasure of the thought but seeing the two happy just put them on a neutral mood. "Next time you go to Paris, whether that lover boy of yours drags you, you tell him I'm tagging along."He said gruffly while looking at some of the incantation, spellwork.  _'Oh damn, Rufus is going to have a cow with this one.'_ The prospect of having something that the other Hunter didn't was making him downright please and a bit of a traitorous by being pleased that the Trickster God dragged his adopted kids to Paris.

 

"We also got these, from a Monk in Kyoto, actually demon killing knives." Dean showed the knife to his dad and Uncle while handing it to Bobby for further inspection, it was like Christmas for the two older Hunters. "Well damn, tell Sam's lover boy he won't get shot at- Where the hell are they?" Bobby just noticed that the said two were gone while John looked a bit alarmed and Dean shrugged. "Probably back at the safe house, he gave a key to Sam that transports us directly to the safe house, save us both the money and better beds... Wait, nevermind, she left the keys and a note." He looked at the note that read.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Loki needs to talk to me for a bit. Swing by after you guys are done fan girling, we have beer and snacks._
> 
> _\- S. W_

 

 

He looked at the clock which read 3:45 PM and crushed the note. "Sammy and Loki are back at the place..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Gabriel was a little envious of the family bond that the Winchesters have.

 

 

 

It may be jagged and shaken but it was still there, no matter how many mistakes one made, the other forgives and they just move on from that point. If only his family was like that if only one brother learned to be a bit open-minded, one learns forgiveness and one that would give a benefit of the doubt but they didn't, they let themselves go and in that process, their bond was shattered. "Are you alright, Loki?" He felt a warm hand on his cheek and saw the worried gaze of the one named Sam Winchester, smart and resilient, beautiful and trusting, Sam Winchester.

 

 

 

 

They were outside by the bonfire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He was laying down on her lap while she was sitting on the blanketed ground.

 

 

 

 

It became their place where open space and the fresh clean breeze made talking easier. "Just wondering about a few things, kiddo." He replied while she tilted her head to the side as if she was peering into him, those green eyes could be oddly perceptive. "Is it alright to ask?" Polite, Gabriel forgot that Sam would always ask first and it was an endearing quality of hers and at times he wondered how she was related to John and Dean. 

 

Gabriel placed his hand on hers as her other hand wandered to his hair, she was touching him as if this moment wasn't real. He thumbed the back of her hand, it wasn't too rough nor it was too soft, it was somewhere in the middle... The scars on her hand were healed but he could still feel the bumps of it, the cuts that were made and the burns that scorched her. This was the hand of a Hunter who'd risked it all for her family, he let a contented sigh out feeling her other hand play with his hair. The warmth of her hand was welcoming...

 

It was in this moment that she knew, she fucked up.

 

 

 

 

She was running a hand through Gabriel's hair, the golden mane that she wanted to touch for so long and his hand was very warm and... dare she say, loving? She dreamt of this moment, it was simplistic and it was real... She didn't care for romantic dates at expensive restaurants or expensive gifts but she wanted moments that leave a lasting impression like this one. They were connecting, simple touches and conversations that lapse into a comfortable silence. "I was thinking about my brothers and sisters, the good times we had when everything was... peaceful." Gabriel stumbled a bit and Sam saw how those golden whiskey shot eyes lost in thought, lost in a memory.

 

 

"It must be nice to have a big family." She said and Gabriel looked at her with a nostalgic smile. "Family dinners were rowdy." She mused at the thought of all those angels sitting on one big table while God sat at the head while trying to stop all the fighting but fails. "I can imagine you starting a food fight." Gabriel gave a mock pout. "Lies, Sam-a-lamb, it's usually my two older brothers doing it first, I just throw the candy to sweeten things out." He replied while the side of her lips twitched, she can imagine that with no problem.

 

"Even when your brothers fight, you still love them, right?" Sam asked while Gabriel hummed. "They're still my brothers at the end of the day as much as I hate fighting, I never stopped loving them." Sam smiled and kissed his forehead. "As long as they know that someone loves them, cares them even if the situation is shitty... There's always hope to mend the broken road." She told him while Gabriel closed his eyes and let the feeling wash over him. "Spoken like a master, eh?" He missed the pained expression that crossed her face when he said that.

 

"I speak from experience..." _One hell of a lifetime for an experience._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 This was one of those moments where she was completely alone.

 

 

She fought the thought of pessimism and how she never deserved such sweetness when all she caused was misery, the choices she made before caused a lot of destruction... How was this any better? Closing her eyes as she tilted her head to the sky, it wasn't fair that she lives in a constant nightmare of _what if's_ and _what could have been_...

 

 

 

Jess is alive and with someone else, Brady and the rest of the demons surrounding her were unsuspecting of her knowledge and she's protecting her family, Jo and Ellen are alive, Ash is with them, Dad is alive... Gordon is wary of her and she doesn't give a damn to the psychopathic nutcase... Bela is running around... Sam cursed at the last thought, the supernatural thief is bound to steal something from Dad's storage soon, perhaps she could convince him to hide it here under Loki's well-warded abode?

 

 

 

"So many things to do..."

 

 

They were back in Salvation, they managed to save the family from having the same fate as theirs but the bad side was she finally met Azazel, it was a burning hatred that threatens to consume her as she saw him. He took _everything_ from her in this life and the previous one but her only consolation was that he noticed that the demon blood in her veins was gone and she took great pleasure in seeing him frustrated... She took a cigarette pack from her jacket and sighed, it was a bad habit that she can't quite quit...

 

She scowled seeing as she forgot her lighter...

 

 

 

"Need a light, Sammy-girl?"

 

If Meg was surprised at the fact that Sam knew she was a demon, she hid it well.

 

 

 

Sam looked up and went on full-defense. "Meg." Her voice may be on neutral but she was still on edge. "Why the defensive stance thought we were gal pals?" Her mocked tone made her reach for the knife hidden in her belt. "What do you want?" She put a good distance between her and the blonde demon who gave her the same coy smirk. "I like you, Sam... Much better than that bastard, the same bastard that killed Mommy dear." Sam narrowed her eyes but spoke nothing. "Silent treatment, sad. I was hoping for a pep talk but seeing as we both don't like beating the bush... I want to have ... an agreement with you." If it's possible for Sam's eyebrows to reach beyond it would have.

 

"A deal...with a demon?" It sounded ridiculous if she considered it with Meg of all demons, she'd take her chances with Crowley! Meg noticed the incredulous expression on the brunette's face while Meg raised both her hands in a mock surrender. "Somewhat... But I don't want you soul as delicious as it is... I want Azazel dead like you want him six feet under." Meg said in all seriousness while Sam nodded in a way that she was confused. "Uh-huh... Isn't he the ruling Hell? Want the throne for yourself, Meg?" Sam asked a bit peeved at the thought of the she-demon ruling Hell while Meg barked a laughter. "Oh honey no, Hell no... That's where you come in, don't you know that the moment found that you were big Daddy's favorite toy he's been spreading the news of our Dark Messiah, our Girl Queen!" Meg gave her mocked bow with the blonde's hand on her chest and bowed while Sam choked on her own spit.

 

 

"I don't get the propaganda." Meg honestly thought that this was supposed to be the Queen of Hell? She's cute and all but her buffering is going to get her killed. "I don't know whether you know or you're acting like you don't know, which is it?" Meg asked as she crossed her arms and eyed the brunette who was significantly taller than her while Sam scoffed. "I know the gist of it but what's your angle? Your cache? You're a demon, Meg, you don't make deals unless it's going to be beneficial for you." Sam tapped the bud of the cigarette on her thigh as she eyed the demoness with a knowing look while Meg wasn't at least affronted but pleased that Sam wasn't a stupid human that jumped on the chance for a deal that won't involve her soul.

 

"Hell needs a new boss and you're on the candidate list." Sam stilled and her baffled look made Meg laughed a bit. "Don't look so surprised, Sammy-girl. Azazel paved the way and everyone knows he's losing his marbles, someone has to step up before this turns into a Chicago gang war, a battle of territories and all. No one is better equipped to rule Hell than you, you're special, Sammy-girl...more than you know." Meg eyed the brunette who was silent when she explained her reason while Sam, she released a humorless laugh.

 

"You think this is funny?" Sam stopped laughing and eyed the blonde demon with a deadpanned stare. "Are you hearing yourself, Meg? You want _me_ to rule Hell, a _human_ to rule the land of Damnation?" If it's possible to let her voice go any higher then Meg would think she's a chipmunk. "Yes. Azazel is essentially driving everyone else nuts, killing his own demon followers when they think you're better off dead since he spoke with Lucifer-" "He spoke with Lucifer?" Sam cut her off abruptly in surprise while Meg nodded. "Big Daddy Luci gave the order to find a child that would be his vessel, take a good guess who won that prize?" Sam pursed her lips and a brief disdain passed her eyes.

 

"Is that the reason why you want me to rule Hell? Take control and what? Azazel is still the one who holds the power, demons are more likely to kill me than follow me, Meg." The blonde demon hummed and paced a bit while keeping her distance from the Huntress. "Easy, kill Azazel. I know Daddy Winchester has the Colt and it's fine, keep it, use it for all I care but not at me, doll." Meg said while Sam raised a brow at her. "I thought you'd be eager to follow Azazel seeing as he's speaking to _your_ Daddy and not kill him. why this?" Sam asked while Meg stopped her pacing and looked at the brunette with such an intense look that Sam was itching to get the knife and bury it in the demon but that would kill the host, who is still, in fact, alive, if her memories serve her right.

 

 

 

"He's driving us into a ditch and leaving us there, no one is going to make a move on him and he just lost it, you have no idea what's going on in his head and being around him is like being around a ticking time bomb." Sam stopped her tapping and for a brief moment, she felt sympathetic because she knows _exactly_ what Meg is telling her because the majority of the time, she was caught in the blast of emotions. 

 

 

 

"Give me some time to think about this, I'll summon you when I made my choice," Sam said neutrally while Meg smirked a bit. "That's good but try not to tell anyone about this especially that Pagan God of yours." She cursed the thought of Gabriel, he is a wild card in all of this but a part of her stilled... Could she really trust him or was he doing all of this so the Apocalypse wouldn't go on? Despite the facts presented, she pushed it away.

 

"No one will know as long as you keep it that way.

 

 

 

Meg tossed her a lighter and disappeared without another word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Demons. 

 

 

She wondered why she can't stay away from them and making deals that would just end up biting her in the ass? She thought she learned her lesson in the first life but that wasn't enough because it just keeps coming back with a vengeful force, the cigarette dangled from her lips and she tasted the bittersweet taste of tobacco and future lung cancer. The lighter in her hand felt heavy despite it being so small and she had a rueful smile, this situation was fucked up beyond reason and to think she was even considering making a deal.

 

God above, she never learns, does she?

 

 

She was about to light the cigarette when it disappeared from her lips. "You know these things could kill you, Babydoll," Gabriel said as he eyed the thing as if it was the most offensive thing there is while she rolled her eyes. "I'd be more worried about the things that could actively kill me than a single stick that's giving me a slow yet blissful death called lung cancer." She replied sarcastically and kept the lighter at her back pocket. "And they say you're the healthy one." He accused while Sam had a bit of a quirk in her lips as Gabriel was essentially being Gabriel and shrugged. "I'd rather smoke and be sober than being shitfaced drunk nursing a regret called a hangover the next day." She drummed her fingers on her lap, a habit she seemed to form. 

 

"Can I have it back now, please?" She asked while Gabriel looked at the stick dangled that dangled from Sam's lips and wondered how she tasted like after a smoke? He hummed and handed it back to her. "Does your family of Hardy Boys know that their golden girl is doing something rebellious?" Sam snorted and shook her head. "No, and I'd like to keep it that way." She didn't explain further so he let it slide for now.

 

They stayed in silence for a few minutes...

 

Gabriel let his mind wondered from a bit, who knew that someone like Sam was a smoker? A health nut that nags her family into eating and exercising only to hide that she had her own bad habit.  _'Ah sweet irony, you never cease to amaze me.'_ He thought and heard the tell-tale signs of a lighter being used and watched in fascination as this Golden Girl transformed into a rebel before his eyes.

 

She huffed and puffed with ease.

 

"How long have you been smoking?" He asked while Sam smiled in a way that shames the Mona Lisa when it comes secrecy of smiles. "A little while... It was my last year in Stanford, the stress of all those deadlines and social life then those apprenticeships and Med school... I was getting swamped with work and half of the time I looked like a zombie made for a zombie movie and majority of the Senior batch. My friend offered me a smoke and they thought I was going to turn it down but when I didn't, they thought hell was freezing when I took it like a man." She told him and Gabriel nodded. "You wanted to be a Doctor, right?" He asked while there was a brief painful pang in his chest when he was reminded of a brother who was a healer.

 

"Yeah, I wanted to help people. Psychology opens a lot of options for me from Business to Industrial, Fieldwork and all... At that time, I didn't care what branch of Psychology I fell into as long as I help then that matters." She replied and took a generous huffed and was surprised when she exhaled it was animal shaped smoke that came out of her mouth in which Gabriel laughed a bit. "Very funny," She said dryly while Gabriel gave her an innocent look.

 

"A healer of minds then?" She stopped to think and glanced at Gabriel who had his own thinking moment. She remembered that he has a brother who was a healer, Raphael as she recalled. "If the mind isn't working properly, it rots and it wastes the human being. A person who cannot think for himself is lost by blind order, a person who cannot make up his mind is lost in the thoughts of what if's and a person who swims in negativity is often lost in the seabed of anguish." She said without looking at the surprised look that Gabriel had.

 

"You seem oddly insightful." He replied evenly while she tapped her cigarette causing the ashes to fall. "It's just what I've observed, other people follow blindly without questions of the consequence, others rebel without seeing the reason and other merely stay neutral in hope of avoiding the fight. I don't speak for every human being in the world but I know it doesn't boil down to someone made me do it or because it's fated to be. The Apocalypse is ridiculous but somehow, I feel like there's a bigger picture here." She said and stared ahead...

 

 

"What bigger picture besides the world ending with two brothers having Daddy issues?" Gabriel couldn't help the bitter tone escape his lips while Sam took a last long drag before she dropped the bud and stepped on the remaining ember. "If you looked at this from the Father's perspective than the brothers perspective. I don't think God would like his sons duking it out rather... He's testing them to see if they'd make the choices he hopes for them." Sam always has this thought that God left the Apocalypse scripture for a reason because she thought it was ludicrous for him to make something he put time and effort to only to destroy it with two sons who have major daddy issues.

 

 

"... That seems plausible, Samshine." Gabriel replied and thought, what happens if ever those two passed the test? "I thought you'd say it was ridiculous." Gabriel looked at the woman who somehow helped him solve his problem if their Dad did leave a test behind it always seemed vague because no one really knows it was a test until someone else points it out. "Can you think of what test these two would need to pass?" Gabriel hoped, a tiny bit of hope built inside of him at the prospect of having this entire thing avoided and possibly, their Dad home. 

 

Sam noticed how she has Gabriel's full attention on the matter, she threaded carefully because she might spill something that she can't explain. "I know that Michael is the oldest and Dean is his vessel... _If_ and I put an emphasis on it because I don't want to assume, _if_ he's anything like Dean then all he wants is Dad's approval and to please him even blindly obey his orders without much of a lip while Lucifer, he's rebellious and essentially think humanity is a waste as lore and texts explains. If I'm right, God would want Michael to make a choice whether he can continue on with life without the Apocalypse and accept the fact that he has to question things that seem absurd because other than being a son, he is also an Archangel that leads Heaven, a brother to all of the Angels and for the humans on Earth he is the Patron for Souls, Guidance, and Protection... He has other jobs to do besides pleasing his Father." She missed the smirk that Gabriel had even if Michael is a big daddy pleaser, he is also a big brother.

 

_He seemed to overlook those parts when Dad comes into the mix_. Gabriel thought dryly and applauded Sam for her insight.

 

"For Lucifer... I think he just wants him to see that even though he was the favored son doesn't mean he can escape the consequences of his actions and that he wants Lucifer to make a choice on whether he'll continue to seek the destruction of humanity because he doesn't approve of us or he'll let them be because humans die eventually by their own hands, by others or by a force of nature related to the supernatural world. That or he wants the two of them to sort out the bad blood because like the majority of parents around the world and across time and space, they want their kids getting along and more importantly, they want their kids home."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Italy. 

 

 

 

Gabriel was in his villa in Italy, the _Villa Bahia_ in _Sorrento_ by the _Amalfi Coast_ , it wasn't easy to buy when he had to acquire it by  human means but in the end, it was worth the effort since he really like the place that gave him a relaxing sense where he could just sit by the terrace and get lost in thought as he inhales the sea breeze and when he just wants to be human, he takes a good long walk down to the marketplace for fresh ingredients and at times, just to get to a nearby cafe for freshly baked goods and sometimes, he'd take his scooter to go to the beach or a horse ride.

 

He may be masquerading as a Norse God but that doesn't mean he likes the cold, he abhors the cold because it reminds him of when Lucifer fell and when their family became cold... How those warm hugs became a foreign thought and how smiles became blank faces, everyone became closed off...

 

This place reminded him of what used to be his home and his family.

 

 

 

His family used to be close-knit and loving... And open but one single mistake shook it to the very foundations, the fall of Lucifer and all of their brothers and sisters that followed him because Lucifer couldn't accept that their Father wanted them to bow to humanity. The paradise that humans thought was perfect is nothing but a hoax when all of the angels above are stuck in blind obedience and has no love for humanity because the creation of humanity is what destroyed Paradise in the first place.

 

  
Heaven seemed like a foreign memory to him now because of what happened and he can't just blame it all on Lucifer because all of them should've done something or at least anything to elevate a situation that was heading down South without a stop. His conversation with Sam made him realize a few things that he ignored and it seemed rather stupid that he just realized it now and that someone else had to point it out for him.

  
His Father was rather fond of tests.

 

If the Apocalypse was a test then it was a rather big one and Gabriel hopes that it might end of all this nonsense because he really likes humanity, he is fascinated and awed at how things could shake them to the core, break them and scar them... They always pick themselves back up and move on.

 

 

Like the Winchesters.

 

 

 

  
There a lot of things that could break them and tear them apart but they managed to glue themselves back together and face whatever challenges that come their way because in their minds family doesn't end in blood nor should they give up on one another. Their conviction on saving each other was something he wished that his own family possessed...

 

 

 

> _"Brother... please don't make me do this....."_

 

 

Gabriel clutched his head as images appeared in his head, it was painful as fuck but it doesn't compare to what he saw.

 

 

Lucifer killed him.

 

 

 

He teleported himself to the master bedroom and by the nightstand was an array of alcohol that he continued to consume without a care, it's not he'll get alcohol poisoning. It's been a shitty few months since he's been getting memories, as he concluded, from another life and they've been ruthlessly attacking him on sporadical times that he doesn't trust himself to be around anyone.

 

That has to be one of the shittiest things he's seen because his own brother just stabbed him because he chooses humanity!

  
"Oh fuck..." If it's possible to feel anything else but pain, hurt and anger for Lucifer he's praying really hard to his Father for some enlightenment. But that didn't stop there, the rest of the memories came flooding in without any remorse, he promptly blacked out.

 

 

 

Well shit.

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

"How are we suppose to do this again?" A man asked his companion with a bit of an apprehensive tone. "To be honest, we're going through the first half and end it there." The companion said easily while the African-American man resisted the urge to twitch in a manner that is rather offensive. "Let the Winchesters break Lucifer free, assuming that Lucifer does have his memories or a part of it, how can we be assured that he'll go through with the plan, Michael?" Raphael asked while Michael looked up from his work.

 

 

"I believe that trust is an essential part of this plan to ensure that it does work, trusting Lucifer is vital to this plan and as I recall, Father is keeping tabs on us," Michael said with certainty that made Raphael mentally bemoan. "You've been toying with ideas, Michael. _Be careful_." He warned his older brother at the dangers of having ludicrous ideas at a very crucial time. "I am not toying with any ideas but merely seeing things as they could be and seeing as Sam Winchester made far better progress at that even when Father has given him numerous tools, he still uses the ones around him." Michael pointed out while Raphael sat down on the leather couch with a pinched expression.

 

  
" _She_ , Michael. If you have been keeping tabs on this new life then you should've known that Father has returned Sam Winchester to the gender she was supposed to have been born with and as I recall, Sam Winchester is careful this time around because she doesn't know what consequences she might face or do to those around her especially when it concerns the angelic and demonic side." Raphael added his thoughts while Michael placed down whatever documents he has and leaned back letting a brief pang of guilt hit him.

 

When the Heavenly Host found out about Sam Winchester's original gender some didn't care but for traditionalists like him and Raphael, they changed it for the sake of sticking to the script of two brothers duking it out. "John and Mary Winchester weren't very forgiving when Father had told them of what we have done especially Dean Winchester and Bobby Singer." Michael didn't stop the flinched from happening because even though they were humans threatening them, their Father was behind those humans giving them a very disappointed look.

 

Sure they had done questionable things in the past but apparently, messing with their Father granting Mary Winchester's prayer for a girl was a very bad thing to do because they had to face the Winchesters wrath, as well as various people who care about them and their Father, was included in all of the fray. "I don't want _another_ crucifixion, Michael, those human are very .... _creative_ especially, Mary Winchester." The possibility for an Archangel to fear a mere human seemed laughable but it was very possible.

 

 

 

 

"I know, brother..."

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  

Lessons.

 

 

  
Whatever the past taught her that making deals with demons is a very bad thing and for God knows what, she never learns because she's about to make the same mistakes.

 

 

May God forgive her.

 

She managed to find an abandoned building down a questionable road and essentially warded against anything holy and unholy with everything in her bag, she prepared to summon a demon.

 

 

  
These past few years were essentially the happiest she had ever felt and meeting everyone again and seeing them alive put an ease in her conscious but what made her waver was her family, she knows that they'll be used against her or her to them but she won't allow it because this time, she'll make it right.

 

 

Then there was Gabriel.

 

 

  
Her heart ached to know this was a betrayal for the Archangel but she knew there was no time for romance because things like that were just going to be used against her, she's going to miss all of those moments they have and his smiles... She felt the stinging sensation in her eyes but held those tears back because in her heart that no matter how she wants to be selfish to just plainly admit to the Trickster that she wants him even when he clear as day wants her, she won't love him and leave him.

 

 

He's better off with someone else, someone else better than her.

 

 

 

  
With a trembling sigh, she pushed everything at the back of her mind.

 

 

"Well, isn't this a surprise... Little Sammy Winchester."

 

 

 

The man's eyes flashed yellow while Sam steeled herself.

 

 

  
_'I'm sorry, everyone.'_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry # 11
> 
> Why does it feel like I'm dead all over again?
> 
> \- S. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season Two Everyone!
> 
> Sabriel Moments! Brother and Sister Moments!
> 
> Everyone has a Moment!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> _My love, leave yourself behind_  
>  _Beat inside me, leave you blind_  
>  _My love, you have found peace_  
>  _You were searching for release_
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> _You gave it all_  
>  _You gave into the call_  
>  _You took a chance and_  
>  _You took a fall for us_
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> _You give thoughtfully, loved me faithfully_  
>  _You taught me honor, you did it for me_
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> _Tonight you will sleep for good_  
>  _You will wait for me my love_
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> _Now I am strong (Now I am strong)_  
>  _You gave me all_  
>  _You gave all you had and now I am home_
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> **_-[My Love by Sia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c81fXTZ-74&list=RDMMLdH7aFjDzjI&index=33)_ **
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Sam was gone for an unusual amount of time.

 

 

Dean noticed that his sister was spending an undoubtedly amount of time outside and even sitting on the sidelines when he and his Dad were fixing Baby or any of the hunts he and Sam had been through, it doesn't seem to give warning bells to Bobby or to their Dad but he knows his sister even if that codependence is unhealthy, he knows that she wouldn't usually do these stuff unless something has her shaken up like a nightmare or the situation because he could still accept the circumstance but everything is different now, she seemed tense and sad.

 

So he decided to talk to her even if he generally dislikes any chick flick moments but he couldn't escape it, he grouched about that fact since Sam is a chick and he has moments with her, it sucks but at least Sam isn't too overly dramatic... well tries not to be.

 

 

"Hey..." He greeted his sister who was sitting on the Impala's hood with a book in her hands, she looked up from her book. "Hey, Dean..." She replied with a small quirk of her lips and she moved a bit so he can take the side in which he did, it was a testament to how they knew each other well enough. "Beer?" He asked while she nodded and he handed her one and they sat in silence for a while. "Got anything on your mind, Dean?" She asked while the green-eyed freckled brother hesitated for a bit then chugged his beer and shrugged. "You seem weird lately, did you and Shortstacks fight or something?" He asked and he noticed how Sam stiffened for a bit and shook her head.

 

It wasn't a secret that Loki has been gone for two weeks without a word.

 

 

He watched how Sam would clutch the necklace and let it go but then goes on and repeats it, she would even spend some time back at the bonfire pit and she would just seem closed off... He wondered if they really did fight and that the guy just disappeared leaving a problem unsolved and Sam was stewing thinking it was her fault. "... No, Dean, we didn't fight because I haven't gotten a chance to talk to him at all after Salvation." After fighting off Azazel and saving the family, Gabriel told them he'd be keeping an eye on things and disappeared but when she was alone taking a smoke break he just popped in.

 

And he seemed distracted for some reason that he didn't notice the demonic presence.

 

 

"What happened?" It seemed surreal to Sam that Dean wanted to talk about feelings when he generally wants to avoid it but she just ignored whatever negative nagging thought she's thinking of. "... Nothing much except..." It's just embarrassing thinking about it but Dean noticed how red Sam's neck is and how she's drumming her fingers on her thigh, he became curious. "Except?" He asked and her face was pink and while she tried to shrug it off and failing to do so. "... We just....kissed...." She stumbled to say while Dean was in the process of drinking his beer, he stopped and froze then swallowed. "... Dude, you're such a girl." He grinned a bit then started laughing which made Sam blushed even further.

 

Who knew that Sam could be attracted to someone and act so cliche?

 

 

 

He knew there would be a day that his sister would be attracted to someone but seriously? A Pagan God who seem too sleazy for his own good but the way Sam looks at him and those secret smiles made him a bit sad that Sam basically has someone new. "Gonna tell Dad about your lover boy?" He teased while he saw the crooked smile and she shook her head. "There's nothing to tell, we kissed but nothing more, Dean and besides... He's too good for me, he deserves someone better and someone on his caliber." She replied softly and cradled the beer with a far off look. 

 

Dean couldn't believe what his sister is saying, the guy just basically presented things that is considered Earth shattering and he spends his time with Sam and his baby sister is telling him that she's basically not good enough. "Bullshit," He said and noticed how Sam shrugged casually as if she didn't care at all. "I'm human and he's not, I'm mortal and he's immortal. I'm plain looking with no experience and he's probably gotten five or six girls from the Playboy mansion without even trying." Sam pointed out while Dean could applaud the last bit, he shook those thoughts away. "You're basically saying you didn't get at least an ounce of the good-looking genes from Mom and Dad." This is one of Dean's bane, his little sister didn't see how beautiful she is.

 

Sam is the complete package for any guy! She's smart and got a full ride to Stanford, she's tall, has great hair and body, she's sincere because he really doubts Sam could be a cheater when the girl wears her emotions on her sleeves and she thinks she isn't good enough for a guy who is giving her the cow eyes? 

 

Insecurity is something she has never shaken off.

 

 

"Sammy, if you just say you want a necklace made out of stars I'm sure as Hell this guy would do it in a heartbeat. You always keep telling me to try but why aren't you doing the same? Try to be selfish, no one is going to fault you for that since you're only human." He said but if he only knew what's going on inside of Sam's head then he would've said otherwise so Sam smiled and when Dean left, her mask crumbled.

 

If only he knew what happened two weeks ago...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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_**Two Weeks Ago...** _

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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"Well, isn't this a surprise... Little Sammy Winchester." The yellow-eyed demon surveyed his surroundings and noted that there was heavy wardings and the essential Devil's Trap, he had a pleased smirk on his face, the little Queen did her research well and judging from the number of wards, this was going to be kept private and secured. "Azazel, can't say it's been a pleasure after twenty-two years suffering without a mother." She replied curtly and he could feel her disdain from those green-eyes of hers.

 

"I did warn your Mother that I was going to pay her a visit but like all good and caring ones, she decided to ignore it, well the past is past, Sammy. We gotta think of the future." He said while Sam controlled her emotions and locked every bit of it inside, it was no use in getting pissed off. "Future?" She parroted and decided to bite her tongue before she says anything unnecessary. "I know that you know what role you're playing, Sam, don't play coy." She had a bitter smile plastered and faced the demon eye-to-eye.

 

Azazel feels something off about her and felt something boil in him when she didn't have an ounce of demon blood in her veins!

 

"Felt that, huh? No demon blood." Seeing his pissed off expression made her savored it. "How is that _possible_?" He hissed while Sam shrugged. "I believe that anything is possible when you put an effort in it and what I efforted is to remove it from my veins."  _Because I feel so much better without it._ Azazel felt something surround her, it was unimaginable and he wanted it because power like that would be wasted if it wasn't used. "Kudos to you then, why did you exactly summon me besides to gloat?" He asked curiously and a bit peeved while Sam steeled herself.

 

 _This is a very bad idea._ Even her mind was against this but it had to be done.

 

 

 

"I want to make a deal." 

 

 

If it's possible to raise eyebrows beyond their reach then Azazel would've done it because he was expecting a lot of things, be killed, tortured for information or humiliated but a deal... A deal with the very person he wants badly was something else, it was Christmas for him. "You want a deal ....with me?" Sam let the annoyance seeped pass her impassive face. "If you don't like it then I can summon another demon who can be more accommodating."  _Namely Crowley._ She said without missing a beat, the demon hissed at the thought. "No need to be hasty, Sammy, I'm assuming you have your conditions?"Azazel didn't want to lose this golden opportunity so he yielded to the woman.

 

She narrowed her eyes at him and placed it under the fact that he didn't want to lose this opportunity and whatever ulterior motives he may have will be dealt with.

 

"I want my brother, my Father and anyone connected to the Winchester or Campbell name safe. I want them to live healthily, no supernatural inflicted diseases or demonic ones, they'll die when their time is up and no matter how many demons my family or anyone concerned with me, summons, no demon will give them a deal so they could take my place." Azazel narrowed his eyes at the implications of it but if this was her conditions then she must be willing to give up something, well... other than her soul. "Quite the condition there but what's in it for me?" He asked while the woman started to pace around him, deep in thought and her heels echoing in the abandoned house.

 

 

 

 

"... I'll be whatever you want me to be, my full cooperation and I'll do whatever you want provided it has **legitimate** reasons behind it." Azazel had to clench his jaw so he wouldn't let her see how it would've dropped, she was going to be willing to be handed to Lucifer on a silver platter with a pretty bow all dolled up for her family, all of this purity and power under his command, dark thoughts began to form his mind but another thing came up, he wasn't going to wait ten years for this. "A deal as sweet as this doesn't have the standard ten years, Sammy-girl." She knows that because Dean was given just one year and she pursed her lips. "I can take a year, nothing more or less." Her voice wavered a bit but that didn't stop her resolve from dwindling but Azazel knew a year was too short for someone with a timer above their head.

 

"I'll be generous because you're my favorite, Sammy, I'll give you... the rest of the remaining months of this year and one additional year to say your goodbyes." It wasn't bad but if Sam had any other choice, she would've chosen the one where she doesn't have to betray everyone she loves. "Anything else to add?" He asked because he wants the deal to be done and secured. 

 

"No one knows about _this_ until my deadline comes." He could accept that even if he wanted nothing more than scream it throughout the entirety of Hell but accepted her terms.

 

 

"You have yourself a deal, Sam Winchester." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>   _"I chose to take the road not taken and to bear my cross alone, no one should ever go down the road that I walk."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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She tasted sulfur in her mouth for two weeks.

 

 

It was retched and if it's possible to bleach her mouth without any health consequences then she would've doused her entire body so she could rid of it because it made her so vile and traitorous. When she returned to the motel, she got the keys back to the safe house and directed herself to the shower and scrubbed and washed until she was a dried or wet prune but that wasn't enough.

 

She still felt dirty.

 

For now, she immersed herself with case after case piling one after the other because she needed to do something, she needed a distraction but she didn't want to get everyone suspicious so she did what everyone knows she does best, she reads books after books... Reading her favorite stories, savoring the peace and tranquility that is offered to her before her descent downstairs. If it sounded cliche, she didn't care, she memorized every landscape she passed by to the people she met and the food she ate, she was going to miss it all. 

 

 

She felt a sigh escape her as she was thinking morbidly again.  _Is this what Dean thought when he sold his soul for me? Living every moment like it's your last?_ She thought and caressed the necklace that weighed heavily on her chest, she thought of Gabriel and what happened if or when he finds out... Sam ran a hand through her hair, it wasn't fair that she feels something akin to romance for the Archangel who literally has it all and with a simple snap of his fingers, at that, it wasn't fair...

 

It feels like he's toying with her, the past and present emotions mixing that's driving her insane.

 

 

She dropped her book and walked away from it all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Running away.

 

 

She always ran away when things got too heated or too frustrating but Gabriel was another problem, there was Lucifer, the forces of Heaven and Hell trying to manipulate them, Gabriel, her family, Azazel's Special Children, Gabriel, her deal with the Yellow-Eyed Bastard, her emotions, Meg, Gabriel... She moaned in frustration because it always comes back to the Archangel who weaseled his way into her walls but it was also her fault because she didn't fight it off, she didn't try hard enough and that kiss was her undoing.

 

 

In the past life, it was Jessica Moore who made him so alive even with his flaws laid before her, she made him feel so complete that Jess felt like she was his Heaven and his escape from the Hunting life but sadly, she died because of him. Then it stopped until he met Madison but she... She died by his hand and Ruby, her betrayal scarred him because all those times he thought that she was saving him... Set-ups so she could get his trust and his dependence because Dean died, he was a wreck. She gave him a wrong purpose and he was too stupid to even realize it.

 

 

 

She buried her face in the pillow and released a frustrating sigh when she resurfaced.

 

 

 

Then Gabriel appeared as a Janitor as if that God forbid sign wasn't too obvious enough. His jaunty suave attitude was similar to Dean's rough around the edges charm, the humor and all hedonistic acts that left him baffled and then Mystery Spot happened, watching the very person who raised him and sacrificed his own soul die for over a hundred times right in front of his eyes and he couldn't do anything about it. It was a truly hellish lesson to learn that life without his brother brought him down a God-forbidden road of demon blood addiction and mistrust. A road paved with betrayals at every turn, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

 

She clearly defined those good intentions.

 

The TV Land, he gave up on him and decided why not play your roles since you essentially fucked up and ignored what I was trying to say. He wanted to rebuttal but if he wasn't so high strung about Dean's death and all of those fucked up things that basically decided to knock on his door...

 

It was impossible to get out of the hole he fell in.

 

 

 

Every time she looks in the mirror, she sometimes sees who she was before and how that person's eyes were clouded with disdain, hatred and pure unadulterated guilt for his sins. The mistakes of the past keep haunting her and Dean, as well as the rest of her loves ones, think she's beating herself too much... They want her to be selfish, to have something or someone to call her own but if the past has taught her anything, she could never truly have it because it either gets taken from her or it leaves her in the dust.

 

 

What makes Gabriel so prominent in her mind?

 

 

She laid back on her back, looking at the ceiling and counting every visible pattern because she just wants to ignore the petty feelings because it'll just be her own death because they think she doesn't know how Gabriel looks at her or does things for her, she knows because she isn't that blind and if this happened in the past, she could've fought harder just so she could see that smile and taste those sweet lips of his. 

 

 

She screwed it up big time, she acted on past desires.

 

 

Sam clutched the necklace and took a shaking sigh, she doesn't deserve him but a part of her really wants to claim him because he fits but it was just hopeless because she can't have nice things and rolled to the side only to yelp in surprise bringing the person down with her.

 

 

"I distinctly remember that I'm on top, Sasquatch."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> **[Far Away by Nickelback](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UHBkWrzZ-Q) **
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> _~ That I love you I have loved you all along and I miss you_  
>  _Been far away for far too long_  
>  _I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go_  
>  _Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore ~_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn't too bad being bottom.

 

Being up and close, bodies pressed together and eye to eye with the very person who drove him insane. "You've been gone for two weeks, are you alright?" She asked while Gabriel resisted to just kiss her, worried little Samshine, beautiful and sweet although a little naive. "Worried?" He teased while she sighed and rested her forehead on his. "You have no idea... How worried I was." She replied while his coy little smirk melted. 

 

 _It's not fair that you're doing this, Babydoll._ He thought and put a hand behind her, caressing her back softly. "... I was busy sorting things out, Sam." He replies with a slightly hesitant tone, he was gone for two weeks because those memories took a toll on him as he remembered and essentially relived those moments with vivid clarity. He recalled dying by his brother's hand but was resurrected by his Father then dying all over again for the Winchesters.

 

 

 

But that didn't stop there, it was the emotions that made him struggle to come to the Winchesters especially to the youngest one.

 

 

 

It took a week for everything to settle and him picking up the pieces that scattered haphazardly on the floor while he added another week to just say it's not even his emotions, his feelings, and whatnot so he elected to sleep with many women and men as possible to erase any possible feelings for the young Winchester and he even called Kali for a booty call but it wasn't enough, all of them were never enough because it feels so wrong. The pang of guilt inside of him was becoming unbearable, to think he was fooling around while someone was worried sick about him thinking the worse while all he wanted to do was to forget her.

 

It was fucked up but he still did it.

 

 

He spent his time having sex with different partners to forget the very person who, by just giving him a kiss, could undo him.

 

 

 

 

Past and Present, he knows that he loves Sam Winchester.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **[Into You (Piano Acoustics) by Ariana Grande](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxkaoWBssH8&list=RDYxkaoWBssH8&index=1) **
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> _~ So baby, come light me up and baby I'll let you on it_  
>  _A little bit dangerous, but baby, that's how I want it_  
>  _A little less conversation, and a little more touch my body_
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> 'Cause I’m so into you, into you, into you ~_
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"...Sam, do you know who I am?" He asked and those green eyes looked at him confused by his question but behind that confusion, he could sense something else and couldn't place it. "...You're Loki, God of Mischief and Lies in Norse Mythology." She replied without missing a beat but she hesitated... Gabriel traced patterns behind her back and he savored it, he didn't mind the weight because it reminds him that this is real, not a memory of someone else, this moment is something he's living not recalling. This moment wasn't like his wild rambunctious Las Vegas week, that was fun with no strings attached but the problem with it is that he wants something else, something like this.

 

He the type of person that lives in the moment, to do things he wants because he can but when he's faced with something he needs, he runs.

 

The dilemma is when he's with Sam, he doesn't need to be someone else so he could please anyone else except he can be who he was before... Was it selfish that he wants to hear his name from her lips but doesn't want her too close? Maybe. He knows he's always been a selfish person.

 

With a little mojo, he switched their position and the surprise in those green eyes was adorable that he chuckled even when she sent him a nasty look. "Is there a reason why we're like this?" She asked a bit peeved but she was also a little pleased. "I like the view from up here." He replied her lips did a small twitch in amusement. But personally, he just wants to feel being on top even when he really wants the clothes off and- well, he's letting his dick think again.

 

"You never answered my question, Babydoll." He said and she raised a brow. "I just did or are you having an identity crisis?" She asked a bit worried for his sanity while Gabriel resisted groaning in frustration, I mean he was a little vague with his hints but it was there. "Come on, Sam-a-lamb... You're not _that_ dumb." Sam wanted to be affronted but acting like a clueless person on purpose wasn't her forte at all, she'd make a terrible actress. "... You're not giving me enough hints to work with but I can say you're not a typical Pagan God." She replied, truthful but not the full truth while Gabriel huffed a bit.

 

 

 _Can I let my dick and heart think at the same time?_ He asked himself a bit morosely while staring at the woman under him, she was just... Special, special as in the surprise special candy that he always eats because the flavors are different because he can compare it to life, life is essentially sweet, bitter, salty and sour while Sam was her own brand of flavor and he already had a taste of her, granted it was a small one but it was still a taste. 

 

Smart, sassy and classy Sammy Winchester.

 

 

"I hate repeating myself, Babydoll... Why don't you take a guess?" He suggested while she looked mildly disturbed. "The last time we had a guessing game, my hair turned pink." She pointed out while Gabriel grinned. "Only because you called me a dwarf." Sam resisted retorting because she did not want to push it. "How about... Every time you get it wrong, I get a prize?" He suggested while Sam knew she had an advantage because she already knows who he is.

 

"But what if I get it right?" She asked while Gabriel caressed her cheek. "You get a reward..."

 

 

"Do I get a limit on how many wrong guesses I can make?" She just wanted to play fair. "How about three strikes?" Sam didn't want to inquire as to what her punishment what might be if she didn't guess correctly. "...Let's start..." He let his hands wander to safe places while he noticed how wide her eyes grew... "L-Loki..." He hummed ignoring her stuttering and snapped his fingers and they relocated to the bed.

 

Sam felt very shy and wanted to sink into the bed because this escalated very quickly.

 

 

"...You're not... just a Pagan God but something more powerful..." Her breathing hitch a bit when his hand wandered to her knee and it was making its way to her upper thigh, slow patterns were traced teasingly that it made her short wire for a bit. "Hmmm, that's a middle one so neutral." He thought that she was playing it safe because she didn't know what punishment he's going to do, smart but he wonders if Sam was a risk taker like male Sam?

 

He placed butterfly kisses on her neck and smiled. "Try taking a leap of faith, Babydoll." He relished the small gasps that escaped her lips when he found a certain spot on her neck. "... You're not a demon that's for sure... Do you have wings, lives on clouds and sing praises to God?"  _Risk taker, check._ He thought and nibbled on the sweet spot while he trailed his hand to her shirt and liked the fact she wasn't wearing too many overalls like before, she was simply wearing a fitted long sleeved green V-neck, a pair of dark wash jeans and those black heeled boots that reached up to her knees. It was simple yet she makes it beautiful. "You're not using your psychic abilities, are you?" He asked while Sam shook her head. "I haven't done any training concerning them..." She admitted while Gabriel hummed and since she did three guesses right, he became a little bolder with his actions.

 

"You're on a role, Babydoll..." He murmured and trailed his kisses on to her cheek then to her nose and he stopped above her lips and noticed how half-lidded her eyes are, her eyes seemed to take a darker shade of green and he wondered what she was currently thinking about even in this state, her mental block is strong but whatever he's doing, he's doing it right. He lingered a few seconds before diving in and claiming those tempting sweet lips, he felt her hands wrapped around his neck pulling him close.

 

 _One._ He nipped her bottom lip and she gasped in surprise and without warning, he devoured her battling her tongue, he felt a guttural growl emit from the back of his throat when she refused to submit and he liked her defiance while others submitted needlessly, she fought him and unconscious to both of the how Sam wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him effectively closer. They both moaned when Gabriel's clear erection hit Sam's jean covered self.

 

 _Two._ They broke apart for a bit of breath while Gabriel attacked the sweet spot on her neck, hearing those soft gasps and how she's gripping his hair, he wanted her and he was foolish to think otherwise... Past or present, Sam Winchester is his... Lucifer can suck the proverbial dick called life. Then unexpectedly, her hands traveled down to his shirt and rather than unbuttoning it, her hands went under it and Gabriel shivered, her hands were a little a cold and she started teasing him when he felt those hands-

 

"You tease..." He growled while he felt her chuckle a bit. "I got three rights, can I have my reward?" She asked with that dimpled smile while Gabriel had a darker smile almost predatory one and when Sam saw that her heart began to pound loud and she was sure that Gabriel could hear her. "Oh Babydoll, wait till you hit the jackpot." Excited chills went down her spine and he let his own hand wander under her shirt and started to circle her navel. He dived back into those lips and he was lost in the passion, and to think they still have clothes on.

 

 

 

 _Three._ He took it up a notch and bucked a bit, his confined manhood was about to break and he wanted nothing more than to remove those pesky barriers and just bury himself in her and he's pretty damn sure that she feels the same... They broke the kiss and panted a bit, he sat up inspecting how flushed the brunette woman was and how she was sweating a bit... She was very responsive, deliciously responsive and unyielding. He removes his jacket and threw it at the side and he watched those unfocused eyes blinked back to reality and had a renewed vigor as she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and turned, she was on top once more. "I like a woman who takes control." He wasn't lying, he really likes it when his partner takes control. "I like to control..." Her voice took a sultry turn and his dick was eagerly knocking to get out of his pants.

 

 

Sam couldn't focus on her previous thoughts when her senses were basically on overload.

 

 

She hands wonder under his shirt and watched as those golden eyes glowed, and she played with his perky nipples... That got a moan from him, she leaned down and explored the vast expanse of his neck, she peppered him with kisses and kitten lick that the Archangel beneath her was clearly making her feel his approval. "I wonder how that pretty mouth would do around my dick?" He was still crude as expected but it did wonders to her southern region, it was hot and pretty sure it was starting to get a little dampen from all of this action. Retracting her hands, Gabriel opened his eyes when he watched her attentively as she took one of his hand and started to kiss every fingertip.

 

His other hand was on her waist and grasping it like a lifeline.

 

 

She watched how those golden orbs brighten and watched her like she was the main star and deserved every bit of attention, licking her lips a bit, Gabriel thought those tongue would do wonders around other things but what sent him over the edge was when she sucked his middle finger like it was a lollipop.  _'Oh holy fuck!'_ He thought as he watched as his lucky finger got the attention his dick wanted. 

 

His dick wanted out so bad that even Sam could feel it and if Gabriel continues to dry hump them, they're both going to make a mess of themselves. 

 

 

 

 

"Sam- What the Fuck?!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Busted and Cockblocked.

 

 

Dean didn't know what to exactly do because he just walked in on his sister getting freaky with the Trickster God and topping too, it was a plus point but still, he basically raised the girl and seeing her in bed with someone else lit the protective flames and it was threatening to burn to the very being. "Two weeks and you just appeared in front of my sister getting your freak on?" It was the calm before the storm tone that Sam was ever familiar with and it was deadly one because shouting is usually involved.

 

"It was purely consented-" "Sure it was." Uh-oh. Sam sighed and put her hand down after fixing her birds nest of a hair. "Dean, stop it. I know you're going to go Rambo on him but what happened...happened." After that whirlwind of passion, she processed everything mentally bemoaned on how easily she yielded, how many bloody times does she have to tell herself that loving and screwing Gabriel would just be the world's biggest mistake. "If you want to continue your shouting match then by all means but please, give me some time to bring back my missing bearings." She stood up from her and walked out.

 

Sam made a quick trip to her room to grab her jacket and with the pack inside as well as the lighter, she went outside.

 

 

 

Running.

 

She walked away from the safe house down an unknown road because she couldn't handle it, she couldn't face the fact she just caught in that whirlwind and how she essentially fucked herself because of a desire she thought died but seeing him again reignited those flames, how many lifetimes does she have to live knowing that she can never have someone beside her like what Dean and Castiel had. If the situation wasn't grave as this she would selfishly tell Gabriel to teleport somewhere they wouldn't get cockblocked, she just didn't want her second chance to be wasted. Everyone to live, everyone alive.

 

Even at the expense of her happiness.

 

 

 

 

She took the cigarette out faster than anything she pulled out of reflex and lit it up because she doesn't care about her lungs anymore, she just wanted to calm down.  _God, I'm a mess._ She thought morosely and felt a stabbed of guilt when she walked out, she caught the sight of Gabriel's hurt eyes and it tore her. She doesn't know what to do in this situation because she's gonna end up hurting him when she goes downstairs, why couldn't God let her die in peace?

 

"You're gonna kill yourself at a faster rate, Babydoll." The last person or being she'd ever want to see right now was just standing right in front of her. She wondered if she ignored him then would it by some miracle, work? She took a long puff and turned away, she really couldn't handle it because she lost it when he was near her. It was fucked up, Gabriel is this flame threatening to burn her and if she doesn't back away, she'll essentially burn. "You didn't like our game?"  _Game...He thought it was just a fucking game?!_ If Gabriel only knew the implication of what he said, he wouldn't have said it so carelessly. "I crossed the line with that one... I'm sorry, it should _not_ have happened." She replied curtly and the jovial Trickster turned cold.

 

Did she really regret it? _I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it._

 

Seeing the rigid posture and how deeply affected she was, Gabriel pushed it too far. "...Maybe you're right, Sam..."

 

 

Then he was gone and he didn't notice how one lone tear escaped from her eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> **Five Days Later...**
> 
>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

Misunderstanding.

 

 

 

 

"So...you and him, huh?" Dean started while Sam sighed deeply. "No, Dean...there's nothing going to happen." It hurt to say but she was glad that Dean managed to stop whatever was happening between her and Gabriel. "Wait...what? Why?" Dean was confused because they were both cow-eyeing each other every time they're together, not only that but rather than eyeing each other, he noticed how the small touches seemed intimate even when others would see it as friendly, seeing it from his perspective made him an intruder.

 

"Because we have a lot on our plate, Dean... I... I don't want him to be forced into a fight he never signed up for." There was some else and Dean could sense that Sam wasn't telling him the entire truth but didn't push it because whatever it is, it's making Sam retreat into a shell that was hard and stubborn. "Can you tell me something, Sammy?" He asked as they gradually slowed down and halted once they reached the Roadhouse. Dean looked at her with his own stubborn expression while Sam, she could fight it but then it'll be pointless. "What?" She asked in a defeated tone.

 

"Do you love the guy?" She looked up to see how serious Dean looked and how he's gripping the steering wheel, lying would be good but it'll only work if Dean doesn't have those _big brother knows you're lying senses_ and it was severely annoying at times when she couldn't get away with it. "Dean, does it matter?" She asked while he released a sigh. "It does, Sam. I'm your big brother and I may not be the poster boy for stable relationships, I just gotta know when my little sister finally falls in love with someone so I can expect the future tissues and chocolates were caused by the guy." She gave him the stink eye but Dean shrugged. "You wear your emotions, Sam." He pointed out while she pursed her lips and leaned back.

 

 

"...I... yeah, I do have feelings for him but... I don't think it's the right time to fall in love." Some girls were itching to jump in the love wagon while his sister wants to sit it out, unbelievable. "You're impossible, you're letting this chance slip?" He questioned while Sam raised her brow. "Are you giving me... relationship or guy advice?" She asked a bit perplexed but at the same time amused. "Shut up, you're being a bit of a bitch for being a nun. I mean come on, Sammy. You were ready to go cowgirl on the guy, don't you want to lose your V-card?" Sam turned to a tomato shade when he mentioned that because that part of her was just, it was just private.

 

Unlike before, Samuel Winchester has to lose his to some chick he barely knows because creatures are after him due to his virginity but Samantha Winchester, a girl protected by a Father who has fifteen different arson type weaponry in the trunk with a brother who's deadlier than a Hellhound giving his Father a run for his money in the arson department and as much as she wants to hunt, she stuck to researching instead because it just saves them the damn time.

 

"Celibacy is a choice, jerk." She replied in a clipped tone and sighed. "And you want him bad just as he wants you." He replied and noticed how Sam just remained quiet. "Usually, brothers defend their sisters' virtue rather than encourage them to lose it." She replied while Dean shrugged. "It's different between you and him, Sammy. It's just not the way you guys look at each other but it's the vibe. I can't explain it but there's something between you and him, he made you smile and laugh easily even got through your barriers, don't let that go, Sammy." He said and gave a side hug to his sister.

 

 

"I'll try..."

 

 

_But I doubt I'll succeed._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

Rejection felt shitty.

 

 

And where was he now? Drinking ale in considerable amounts back in Asgard wasn't doing him any better due to the noise thanks to Thor's latest hunt. "What troubles you, my son?" Frigga asked kindly sensing Loki's dismayed and slovenly appearance, his usual well-kempt hair was in disarray as if he ran his hand multiple times through it but his eyes spoke volumes of his sadness. "If I say nothing will this problem go away?" He grumbled while drinking another round.  _I can't get drunk._ He thought morosely but he can get a decent buzz while Frigga combed her adopted son's hair. "Loki, my dear son, problems never get solved if one keeps quiet, what troubles you?" She asked in a patient tone that made Gabriel feel a bit guilty.

 

Frigga may not be his real mother but she was a way better parent than his own.

 

 

"...I got rejected by the person who I was ready to give everything." It didn't surprise Frigga that her own son would give everything that he could for someone since he never believed in doing things in halves but this was new. "You have to explain it to me, Loki, I don't know how to help you without knowing the full situation." She said softly while Gabriel sighed deeply and downed his ale. "I met this human woman whose soul is pure and bright that the sun itself would pale in comparison to her and it reflected on the outside as well, she is absolutely beautiful and smart but reckless and far too selfless, she thinks she doesn't deserve happiness, Mother... She makes me feel complete and her rejection shatters me." He said replied in a hushed tone only for Frigga's ears to hear.

 

Loki was usually guarded with his words and actions but by a rejection, he was a wreck.

 

 

She noticed how his eyes would spark with a certain fondness and... love as he spoke about the woman, Loki was laying himself bare and all for her but what doesn't add up was that she rejected him. "Did you do anything to her that may have caused her to reject her?" Gabriel remembered how those days passed but he still remembered her lips and their bodies, the heat, and the connection felt so right, she was his. "We were in an intimate moment when her older brother walked in on us and she just ran and told me it shouldn't have happened when the past few weeks I managed to kiss her, hold her and when intimacy like that came into play, she ran." He said bitterly due to the pain of the memory and the brief sting in his heart. 

 

As a mother, Frigga knew that she should defend her son but there's more to the story than a rejection. "Loki, dear one... Have you considered that this woman perhaps hasn't experienced a relationship much less with a God that she finds herself unworthy or intimidated, you have been known to be a wild one and she is afraid that once you get what you want from her then you-" Gabriel crushed his own mug at the thought while Frigga was surprised at the surge of power that left everyone silent and looking at their direction.

 

"I would sooner _kill_ **myself** than hurt her."

 

Frigga placed a hand on his head and soothed him as best as she can. "You love this mortal woman even when you know her time will come and you will be left with nothing more than a body that will return to the ground?" She asked softly while Loki sank and leaned into her and she embraces him as any mother would to their suffering child. "I love her because she completes me."

 

_And I lost Sam the first time... I'm not losing Sam for the second time._

 

 

"Loki, my dear, I know you never do things in halves so I trust you'll figure this out."

 

 

 

"I know..." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

"Holy crap, you look stunning, Sam," Jo commented on seeing her brunette friend who was wearing something other than her plaid and jeans, Sam was wearing a white form-fitting tank top covered by a cropped black leather jacket coupled with a pair of dark washed jeans that gave emphasis on her legs and ass, and a pair of black ladies boots that has at least three inches on it that gave her a couple inches above Dean.

 

Speaking of, he was wearing a black muscle tight shirt with a matching black leather jacket, jeans that made his own lumberjack figure prominent and a new pair of combat boots. Both Winchester siblings look absolutely enthralling and everyone in the Roadhouse could agree on that because when they sat on, they were immediately crowded. "Seems like Hansel and Gretel returned upgraded." Ellen mused while Jo giggled a bit. "Yeah, seems like Dean is working double time keeping those dogs away from Sam." The Harvelle women laughed seeing the killer glare that Dean sent a guy that had the balls to get handsy.

 

Jo mused seeing them, it's been months despite the texting and calling, she missed Sam the most out of the Winchesters. The woman was her tutor and her best friend, there were times when Sam told her about her family or college but what Jo is excited to hear are the Hunting stories and the places they've been because those stories are way better than any school urban legend. "So how are the Wonder Twins?" She said as she handed them their respective beers. "Hunt here, hunt there and met people," Dean said while Sam rolled her eyes but gave Jo a wink that said she'll her later.

 

"Rumor has it you have a third member." She noticed that it was Sam who stiffened while Dean looked a little peeved. "I'll let you ladies talk." He made a quick escape that made her scowl at her brother while Jo raised a brow. "What was that about?" She asked while the brunette took a swing at her drink and shrugged. "Long story, I promise I'll tell you on closing time," Sam said and smiled despite the fact she felt like she was in the middle of a hurricane. "Hey there, cutie." A relatively young guy sat next to her, a bit tipsy and had that lecherous grin that made her skin crawl in a bad way. She ignored him, there was a lot on her mind and she wasn't going to waste her brain cells to tell off a guy who can't take a hint. "So... I'm guessing you're part of the hunting business, right?" He coaxed and it was a god awful smile, she had her fair share of guys trying to impress her but in actuality, she faced more demons than they have hunted down monsters.

 

"We got a vampire nest down in Louisiana, you should've seen it, betcha you would've creamed your pants!" Still, she ignored him and the guy was getting mad. "Are you hearing me?" He gripped Sam's arm while her eyes flashed annoyance. "She heard you but I think you're not getting the picture, buddy." Sam wasn't the least bit surprised seeing her brother gripping the guy's hand, the Roadhouse occupants stared at the occurring incident and pitied the guy.

 

 

It was a long-standing rule that you don't get to flirt with Sam Winchester much less force yourself because your balls will be on the line.

 

 

"What's your problem, dickwad? This your whore?" Everyone flinched. Next thing the idiot knew he was pinned to the counter with a cold blade against to his neck and those green eyes were dangerously flashing their golden specs while a barrel of a gun was aimed to his forehead. "I'm assuming that you have no idea who my _brother_ and I are, let me paint you a clear picture..." She kneed him in the groin, hard, that every male felt phantom pain while the Harvelle women grinned. "I'm Sam fucking Winchester and that's Dean Winchester. If you ever used your brain then know when to take a  **NO** for a no because if you think about doing this again, I will not hesitate to emasculate your sorry ass, got it?" She said dangerously calm and Dean reinforced the statement by cocking his gun while the poor shmuck nearly wet himself.

 

When Sam let him go, the guy scampered away to his group who was smacking him over the head. "Do you have any idea what you've done, you asshat?" An older looking man hissed at the guy. "It was some bitch, so what?" The guy said venomously while a gunshot echoed while the beer in the guy's hand exploded. "Listen here, douchebag, no one calls my sister a bitch but me." The older looking guy stepped up and gripped the younger looking one warningly. "Sorry about him, Dean. The new guy doesn't know all of the rules." Shooting the guy a glare while Dean looked at the older man that defended him with a narrowed look. "Tell that idiot of yours that next time he messes with my sister or me, I'm putting a bullet through his dick, Carl." Carl nodded and lead the guy outside because he was sure as hell that he doesn't want Hellhound Winchester on his ass.

 

 

"Excessive but thankfully effective," Sam commented and gave the remaining lookers a look that made them go on with their own businesses. "Next time, just tell the guy to piss off." He said gruffly and sat next to Sam and shot any guy who has the balls to even think about it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 Closing time.

 

 

The two Harvelle women with the help of the Winchester siblings, cleaned up the place and after, they were just lounging in the empty bar telling them the stories of their hunts and the rumored third member. "A Pagan God?!" Jo asked in surprised while Dean chuckled. "Yeah, he's short though but a hella prankster, annoying and wants to get in Sam's pants." The said woman almost choked on her beer while Ellen raised a brow. "You're actually letting someone else close to her, is it freezing in hell already?" The older Harvelle woman asked in surprise while Jo was giving Sam the look that said _Details, Give Me!_ Which, the brunette froze.

 

Even in this new life, she still couldn't shake off the effect that women give her when they want details.

 

 

 

"Nah, since it's not completely one-sided, right, Sammy?" _Way to throw me to the wolves, Bastard!_ She glared at her brother promising that she'll have her revenge soon. "Oh, Lord..." Ellen commented on seeing the pink dust Sam's tan skin and while Jo grinned, it was high time that her friend finally got attracted to someone that's living and breathing. "I-it's complicated, okay... Besides, I kinda...pushed him...away." She mumbled and looked at her beer as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Word of advice, dude, you gotta seize the moment..." Ash said as he woke up from his beer induced coma.

 

"Seize it so you can get that stick out of your ass and have something much comfortable in it." 

 

 

Everyone laughed seeing how red the normally calm looking Huntress turned and whacked her brother over his head. "You're normally threatening guys from getting an inch near me, what makes, Loki, different?" She grumbled while Dean held her in a noogie grip.

 

 

"I'd never seen you smile so big when you're with that guy." 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

Clowns.

 

 

Never liked them and probably, never will while Dean made fun of her general fear of men or women dressed in baggy and colorful outfits with caked make-up that reminded her of the girls back in high school. "Why does it have to be clowns?" She grumbled and watched how the rest of the things played out, it hurt playing the observer but if she knew anything from the first life was that when someone's time is up, it's up and even if she forged a new path for everyone she knew, it's still going to end one way.

 

 

These kids were parentless and she sympathized with them because in the first life she grew up being raised by her Brother not her Father and it was painful because she wanted him so bad and it hurt, she was never a child but a soldier fighting an unknown war.

 

 

"Come on, Sammy, let's go...."

 

 

 

 

How many fears she has to face and wars does she need to fight to feel at ease?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #12
> 
> The end is near and for some reason unknown, I was more lost than ever even when I'm equipped with the knowledge and weapons. I think it's the guilt eating me up and I'm shattering, piece by piece, I wish I could go talk to someone, please. 
> 
> \- S. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Suicide Attempts, Cutting and Dark Thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 _And this day's ending_  
_Is the proof of time killing, all the faith I know_  
_Knowing that faith_ , _is all I hold_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _And I've lost who I am, and I can't understand_  
>  _Why my heart is so broken, rejecting your love_
> 
>   
>  _Without, love gone wrong, lifeless words carry on_  
>  _But I know, all I know, is that the end's beginning_
> 
>   
>  _Who I am from the start, take me home to my heart_  
>  _Let me go and I will run, I will not be silent_
> 
>   
>  _All this time spent in vain, wasted years, wasted gain_  
>  _All is lost, hope remains, and this war's not over_
> 
>   
>  _There's a light, there's the sun, taking all shattered ones_  
>  _To the place we belong, and his love will conquer all_
> 
>  
> 
> **_-[Shattered by Trading Yesterday](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hqW4odgkyo&index=27&list=RDqvFpnM1gDQY)_ **
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

The Apocalypse.

 

 

She never gave much thought to it because, at that time, they were too busy finding a way to stop it and they caught up in an emotional hurricane of trust and mistrust. As she pondered on the thought of it, it did make sense that the Apocalypse was a test written on paper but as she spiraled down to endless thoughts and countless what if's, she grew rather depressed because if she wasn't so caught up in her pity party then there was so much that could've been avoided and along that destructive path, she lost more of herself.

 

Sam was losing or lost the parts of what made her human and what felt human.

 

 

With a deep sigh, she grew weary each day and it weighs heavy on her heart because she was on a timer, it never felt enough to be just human or to just hunt because it was just not enough. The guilt built up every day seeing Dean's normal attitude of gruff, pulling pranks and the bickering that she missed so bad because all those years before destroyed them, it destroyed the complete and bare trust they had. It hurts her knowing how easily her brother could turn his back and tell her how much she fucked up and she would just come back crawling and groveling because she loves him and he would do the same, they have a fucked up co-dependency. At times, she would just catch herself before she would do something stupid like cuddle Dean or put a lingering touch, she missed how Dean would be at ease with her touch and not flinch or shrug her hand off.

 

 

There was something burning behind her eyes and she blinked the tears away, she didn't want to cry again or cry but every day was a struggle to get up facing the very person who she sacrificed everything for, everything was for Dean but that doesn't mean her Father, Bobby and the rest mean any less to her, they unknowingly help glue the pieces that were falling but it was Dean who held and cradled her, he is the part and reason why she wakes up every day because she fights for him and she wants to give every single sacrifice that Dean made, worth it. They opted for staying in the motel rather than the safe house...

 

 

Gabriel.

 

 

 

Another thought that came back to haunt her, it's been a month since she actually talked to him and it was always Dean who ended up talking to the Trickster, it was immature and childish but she just couldn't handle the situation where she was stuck with her moral obligations to save the world and her selfish desire to love without any consequences but even with that, Gabriel didn't give up like she hoped for because there was a piece of candy here and there, a cup of her favorite coffee, sometimes a box of chocolates, weapon for the hunt of the week, information but what made her almost melt was the iPod with an ever updating song list and letters.

 

 

 

It was just another hunt, she took a shower and once she got out dressed in a pair of comfy jeans and Dean's oversized shirt, there was a small gold box with a letter wrapped around a white rose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **To: Babydoll**

 

 

She knew there was one being that could possibly get away with calling her that and she knows she put it off for so long that she took the box, rose and letter to the bed she was currently occupying and there was a little sticky note stuck on the pristine-looking iPod.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _The ever updating Sam Winchester playlist_

 

And when she booted it up and put the earbuds in her ears, the first song that played was something that made her breathing hitch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **[My Escape by Ravenscode](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69dioVo0E4I&index=4&list=RDqvFpnM1gDQY) **
> 
> _~ Would you help me to find a new way_  
>  _Would you guide me through all this again_  
>  _Don't let me slip away_
> 
>   
>  _I need you here till the very end_  
>  _So stay here with me_  
>  _There's so much love in your smile when I look at your face_  
>  _And I'm here to stay_
> 
>   
>  _You're my first and my last loving_  
>  _You're my escape ~_

 

 

 

 

 

It was hard _not_ to fall for him when he was putting so much effort into this, the songs and the actions, and then there's her denying him but what was she suppose to do? If she accepted him, then she would have laid herself bare because the key a successful relationship is trust and honesty which she currently has issues with. She ran a hand through her damp hair and untied the letter from the rose...

 

 

  

 

If she was an ordinary girl then all of Gabriel's romantic approaches would've been reciprocated happily but sadly she wasn't an ordinary girl and Gabriel wasn't just an ordinary guy. The envelope in her hand felt soft and almost silk-like to the touch with a hint of something sweet smelling that could be only labeled Gabriel and when she opened it and brought the letter out, the quality seemed high-end and the sweet smell grew stronger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Babydoll,_
> 
> _In all my years, I've never done put so much effort into proving someone that I care and to tell you the truth, I appreciate the hard to get but knowing you, you don't play hard to get, you play for keeps and it hit me that you're not like the others that I've encountered because you're different and special, you would sooner see everyone around you happy and well while you observe them with your Mona Lisa smile. You would sooner sacrifice a chance of happiness because that's how you are, you think seeing everyone happy would make you at ease but everyone can see that even you need your own shot of love and happiness._
> 
> _I can always confidently say that I could give you everything but for that to happen I would need you to accept me but seeing how we are now, I don't know where I stand._
> 
> _Sam, there's so much to like and love about you. There's your smile and I love seeing your smile especially when it's the dimpled smile and it's beautiful because it's genuine but if you want to know what I really love about you, it's your eyes, those green and gold that would mix left me staring. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul and as a being who could see a soul, I'd say that saying is 100% true. Your eyes reflect how bright, pure and breathtaking your soul is and it reflects you as a person, as a human being. You have a kind heart, you trust and you give the benefit of the doubt to everyone and to every single thing that it makes me protective of you, to shield you from those who will taint you and hurt your light._
> 
>  
> 
> _You are your own sun , you shine so bright that you chase away the darkness inside a person and bring out out the best inside a person and your warmth makes everyone feel at home and when I'm with you, I feel like I'm back at home surrounded by the love that I missed so much. When I see you cry, it breaks my heart because out of all the people to cry, you don't deserve tears but smiles and laughs. When the sun is hidden by desolent grey clouds, the land is covered by it's tears and the people are sadden because they want to see the bright sun and feel it's warmth surround them like how you are with everyone around you._
> 
>  
> 
> _You are an angel, you are my angel._
> 
>  
> 
> _Schematics aside, your warmth and love are wings that surround me._
> 
>  
> 
> _May your light forever shine bright because the world needs it and I need you because I've been in the shadows for so long thinking I could survive like this but I was wrong and I don't admit that often, you have a talent to make people and beings see how wrong they could be by being genuine with them, it makes us see that living a lie isn't healthy._
> 
>  
> 
> _Once upon a time, I could fly and be who I am but things happened that led me to hide and while I let myself fall, to escape the reality of something hellish. I turned my back on everything that reminded me of my home and my brothers because I was hurt and scared but seeing you and your brother go through the horror remix franchise of your life made me think that humans could survive better than supernatural beings. I envied that about your family, thick and thin patches, you stuck with each other. It made me realize that there's a part of me that can never be complete because I hid that part, the part where it centers the hurt and pain._
> 
>  
> 
> _If I have that part of me left, it wouldn't be fair that I was hiding that part from you._
> 
>  
> 
> _And even chances were presented to let you know or even ask me, you let it slide and unlike all the others, you weren't curious to know how many secrets I have because it's like you already know me, you saw through me and you didn't ask for anything else._
> 
>  
> 
> _If you were in my place, you see this amazing person who barely see their own worth and would sooner see everyone around happy, would take the blame and be the one that carries the burden, how would you feel?_
> 
>  
> 
> _You are that amazing person and I want you, no matter how many times you deny your awesomeness._
> 
>  
> 
> _I'll be there to remind you that you are so much worthwhile._
> 
>  
> 
> _Even when you deny me, I won't give up on you because I know that no matter how many times you tell yourself, you didn't give up on me._
> 
>  
> 
> _Your Awesome Trickster God,_
> 
> _Loki_
> 
>  

 

 

 

It was a letter full of contradictions.

 

It was sweet and bitter, bittersweet truths and a fantasy fulfilled that made her heart thundered that Gabriel actually took time and wrote this, he even consciously or unconsciously added hints of who he really was and she chuckled as she reread it, one and two going three remembering each word by heart because no one really did something like this for her and when the next song played, she closed her eyes and placed the letter on her chest above her heart.

 

She let the lyrics lull her to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **[Be Somebody by Thousand Foot Krutch](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L3R0o3PEyQ&list=RD69dioVo0E4I&index=22) **
> 
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> 
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> 
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> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _~ I'm just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am_  
>  _Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times_  
>  _I'm just a speck inside your head, you came and made me who I am_  
>  _I remember where it all began, so clearly_
> 
>  
> 
> _I feel a million miles away, still you connect me in your way_  
>  _And you created me, something I would've never seen_  
>  _When I can only see the floor, you made my window a door_  
>  _So when they say they don't believe, I hope that they see you and me_  
>  _After all the lights go down, I'm just the words you are the sound_  
>  _A strange type of chemistry, how you've become a part of me_  
>  _And when I sit alone at night, your thoughts burn through me like a fire_  
>  _You're the only one who knows, who I really am ~_

 

 

 

When Dean returned to the motel room, the first thing he noticed was Sam laying on the bed with the gift given by the Trickster God and she was clutching the letter, asleep. 

 

He sighed and walked towards the woman and tucked her in, he was curious about the letter but left it since this one time where Sam could be selfish and let her love even if the very being she was obviously falling for was a supernatural one...

 

 

 

The letter was in a box with various runes etched on it so that those letters were for her eyes only, each day was a new letter and it filled emotions that threaten to break her composure and run to him, this was a challenge of selfishness and selflessness. She wondered how long does she have to hide before Gabriel finally had enough and just appear himself, she hoped it wouldn't come to that because she feared he might find out that she sold her soul for her family's safety.

 

"Get a grip, Sam." She whispered to herself and sighed getting up from her chair and rubbed her tired eyes, she was back in a familiar routine of research and hunt but what strikes this hunt as odd was the animals drained of their blood and she stopped for a moment, a moment long enough for Dean to notice. "Got anything?" She sure did, the vampires and Gordon fucking Walker came in a rushing tide. "Dean, vampires... _Vegan_ vampires." They met a nest of peaceful vampires during her summer break when she noticed strange things happening to the next state, she called Dean over and they met up with the vampire nest. It made her heart glad that in the past she held her pride and took no chances of ever hunting while she was at Stanford which was a big mistake, she lost the chance to connect with various allies.

 

She met several good ones.

 

Good ones that made Dean a little less homicidal and trigger happy when a supernatural creature or being appeared in front of them. "Why don't you hit your contacts from the Vampire Nest back in California, maybe they can give us some insight?" He suggested while Sam nodded and headed outside for a better reception but that wasn't the case, she felt watched and if Dean's keen instincts picked up on it then he didn't say a word. 

 

The cool outside breeze served as good silent companion for her, her thoughts as of late were getting rampant alongside with her mood even when Dean chalked it up as it was the time of the month, it was alarming to her because she was losing her self-control, her calm composure cracking and it was hanging on a thin thread now, she hoped and prayed every day for some peace of mind. It wasn't just her impending descent downstairs but her memories of Hell were causing her days of sleeplessness. 

 

Days were she would be a zombie, no sleep came to her because she didn't let it, she was afraid of the nightmares and all those mistakes piling up and those emotions stirring making it hard for her to comprehend what is real and what is an illusion, what is the past and what is the present... Her only solace in this was once again, Gabriel, his gifts, and his lingering presences. He was near but wasn't anywhere close to them but enough to watch over them and if they need help then he'd appear. It was a bittersweet feeling, so close yet so far...

 

Leaning on the hood of the Impala, she dialed the number of the Head of the Vegan Vampire Clan back in California.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **"Hello, Sam, nice to hear from you again."**

 

 

She chuckled and felt a smile tugged her lips. "Hello, Ian, I'm sorry I haven't been in contact lately, how are you and the rest?" She asked politely and felt something or someone watching her, the energy was buzzing that she had to force herself to calm down. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **"Everyone is alright, we managed to expand but there are those who are struggling with the change of diet. I've been dealing with other nests who are less than happy with our chosen dietary plans."**

 

Sam could imagine the scowl on his face while she drummed her fingers on the hood and sighed, she could only imagine the amount of violence and bloodshed these vampires went through. "Is there a body count and do you need help?" She asked while on the other side of the phone, Ian Smith, head of the Vegan Vampire Community sighed and ran a hand through his already messed up sandy blonde hair. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **"Five in total were killed, they want to make a statement that no matter what happens, we're just all the same so we stop being _Vegans_." **

 

 

He spat venomously while Sam pursed her lips, the Vampire community was struggling with their own existence. "I take that as a shitty one, do you need help?" She repeated again while Ian, tempted to say yes, clicked his tongue. **  
**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **"No need, Sam, unless you have information of the Vampire Hunter named Gordon Walker? He slaughtered an entire nest by himself in Wyoming and I heard that he's heading down somewhere in Montana for another kill, the remaining survivors of the slaughtered Nest agreed to back off and speak on our behalf  if we can bring the head of the bastard."**
> 
>  

 

Gordon's head for the peace of the Vampire Community.

 

 

"I'll speak with Dean, I need his input in this and when we manage to get our heads together then I'll let you know but until then, be safe, Ian." She bid her farewell and she was stuck in a situation where it's one life for a few lives. "Damn it," She cursed softly and headed inside neverminding the eyes following her movements. "So what's the news?" Dean asked and Sam explained to him with great reluctance on explaining the deal. "Gordon on a silver platter?" He said in a rueful tone, she was afraid that Dean would sooner choose the psychotic hunter once again over the Vampires. "What did Gordy do to have the majority of the Vampire community hunting him down?" He asked and Sam explained as best as she could.

 

Dean respected Gordon Walker for his help in eliminating some of the wayward creatures of the night but even he could tell that there's something off about the older man and when they first met him, Gordon expressed his displeasure in Sam by telling him that his sister was a weakness just like what happened to him but Dean knew his sister, heck, he raised her! The kid doesn't know how to lie even when to save her life. 

 

Most hunters thought that Sam's openmindedness and benefit of the doubt for the supernatural community will get them killed but if he's going to be perfectly honest on the matter, it helped them more than they could possibly know, they know various warding techniques as well as weaponry and importantly, a common ground. It was the emotions, the experiences and the struggles they maintain to go through, pain is a universal common ground.

 

 _'As well as, love.'_ His mind added and he saw Sam sat back down to the chair she previously occupied, once again lost in whatever thought she had and if he could guess what that thought was, he was going to bet it was on Loki, he pretended that he didn't notice how as of late, Sam was restless and the bags under her eyes weren't just the indication of it but her entire demeanor was on high alert as if she was waiting for an attack and add Loki, Loki who kept sending her gifts and love freaking letters that made her smile.

 

He wanted to shoot the guy and at the same time thank him for making his little Sammy smile.

 

 

"I'm heading out to scout the area, in or out?" He asked while Sam just told him that she'd stay and update Bobby on their situation. When he got outside and saw his beloved Baby in her sleek black glory, Dean hummed pleasantly until he saw who was in the backseat, the freaking God of Mischief and Lies, he was left in a neutral mood. "And why the hell are you inside my baby?" He asked in an almost exasperated mixed with a hint of annoyance tone. "Nice to see you, Dean-O!" Despite the perky attitude, Dean could tell that Loki's attention was on the motel door namely on the occupant. "You know, you could always talk to her, she's not even mad," Dean said while Loki stilled for a moment and sighed. "Look, kiddo... It's a little complicated-"

 

"Dude, life is complicated, love is more complicated and you mixed it with my sister, who is an open book to the world, she's _Miss Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve_ , you're making it complicated by overthinking it." He said it as if it was the easiest thing said while Loki scowled. "Have you ever been placed in this situation where you want someone so bad but they reject you or deny you in a way because they think they're not worth it because if you haven't then shut it." An odd sense of deja vu hit Dean but he brushed it off but for a brief moment, he saw the most intense blue eyes. 

 

"I shouldn't even help you with this but I still do." Dean reluctantly admitted to the Trickster while Loki was a little surprise but his it well by raising a brow with his signature savvy grin. "Then why let me?" He prodded while Dean scowled a bit but whatever displeasure he felt was held down when an image of his sister popped inside his head, Sam who was always the one that sacrificed herself even when she hides things that made her look like the bad guy, Sam who always looked at the brighter side of life for him and everyone, Sam... she risked her future as a Doctor for him when he asked her to go find Dad.

 

"... Sammy... something is bothering her for weeks now and if she thought I didn't notice, honestly, that kid... The total amount of sleep she had is almost four hours, downing coffee as if it was water, she doesn't want to go to sleep and when she thinks I'm not looking, she'd read those letters you sent her and... She would just get lost in her own thoughts and drift off. I'm worried about her, she just seems more closed off than normal." He admitted while Loki nodded his head and looked at the door fighting off the urge to teleport and basically hug the woman and maybe pepper her with kisses. 

 

"How can I help her if she isn't even replying?" Loki said while Dean snorted. "Seriously... Her draft box is almost full with the amount messages she tried to send but ended up chickening out and I'd hear her calling herself with different variations of stupid in English and I'm pretty sure French and Italian and Latin was thrown in it." He admitted without a missing a beat.

 

 

Then the next thing Dean knew, Loki disappeared.

 

"You're welcome...jerk..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Loneliness was a good companion at times.

 

 

It gave her time to collect her thoughts and strategize, she could think through every aspect of possible conversation with Dean or with anyone she knew and as best as she could, she wouldn't lie but wouldn't outright tell them the full truth and it boils down to contradictions and the verge of a breakdown, to tell them or not... When she was alone, she tends to overthink matters and it would end up with dark thoughts and her mind traveling to the past and her wallet with the razor.

 

She took the razor out of her wallet and looked at the small object that can cause so much damage with little effort, rolling her sleeves and closing her eyes...

 

The pain was a temporary relief.

 

A nick here and a nick there, the blade on her skin light enough as if it was a tip of a feather but with a small push then blood flowed out of the wound with ease.

 

 

"What are you doing?"

 

The horrified voice asked from behind her and she gripped the blade with an unconscious force that her own hand was wounded and Sam cursed dropping the razor. The next thing she knew was that Gabriel was beside her and healed her wounds in a matter of seconds and they took off somewhere leaving the bloodied razor and a mess that was surely going to bring hell. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  
> 
> **[Pieces by Red](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Uw8mIcQJn8&index=26&list=RDGMEMJQXQAmqrnmK1SEjY_rKBGAVM69dioVo0E4I)**

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _~_ _I'm here again_  
>  _A thousand miles away from you_  
>  _A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am_  
>  _I tried so hard_  
>  _Thought I could do this on my own_  
>  _I've lost so much along the way_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
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> 
> _Then I'll see your face_  
>  _I know I'm finally yours_  
>  _I find everything I thought I lost before_  
>  _You call my name_  
>  _I come to you in pieces_  
>  _So you can make me whole ~_

 

 

 

Suicidal.

 

Gabriel never would've thought that Sam _freaking_ Winchester, Miss Optimistic and Brighter Side of Life was suicidal of all things, he paced back and forth with such heavy steps that even looking at Sam made him angry at himself because he could've seen it and stopped it but she hid behind that damn wall that he didn't notice that she was falling in some sort of depression that she was harming herself!

 

"Sam... of all the things, why?" Gabriel tried to compose himself but was breaking, after weeks of staying away and only to come back and find this of all things. "I... I..." Sam couldn't reply and why should she? Not even Dean knew past and present, she thought she could get away with it but somehow Gabriel just appeared shattering the bad habit. She took a few deep breaths but once those dark thoughts start it won't end until...until she let the loose blood in her veins, the pain was her escape and relief.

 

In pain, she didn't need to hide but sympathize.

 

"Sam... Angel..." Gabriel's voice was soft and gentle when he came near her, she was laying before him in pieces and behind that serene wall, he saw how broken and beaten she was... She was scared and shaking like a leaf in a middle of a hurricane of emotions. "S-stop... please, stop..." She backed away holding herself before she broke down in front of him, he was in pain seeing her like this and he didn't know what to do. "Why do you keep pushing me away?" He asked softly while her broken stare just made the deep black hole inside of himself grow bigger. "I'll only get you killed....like before..." When Sam realized what she said, her eyes grew big and she started to hyperventilate.

 

"...Sam..." _Like before_. Gabriel's mind began to swim in possibilities of... He gave her a look and took a step forward and another until he was hugging her.

 

"Let go...please..." She pleaded in a broken tone.

 

 

 

"And looked what happened, you had to face everything alone." He replied softly and clung to her like a lifeline, he buried his face in her neck while he felt her shake and sob from underneath him. "It was all my fault! I-I didn't try hard enough... It was all a fucking mess..." She broke down, he heard her soul cry from the pain and he just let her cry it out.  _Oh Father, how long have you been keeping this inside, Sam?_ He thought and she gripped him tight. "I messed it up... I got all of them killed, I got _you_ killed... Why are here next to me when you should be far away from me?" She asked softly while Gabriel, as he was known to be a Hugh Hefner at times, out of all his brothers, he was never afraid to show his emotions and express them.

 

 

 

"Because I can and it's what I want to do with my free will."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a brief silence befalls them, they didn't move from their position and they just held each other. 

 

 

Gabriel backed away a bit to take a look at Sam,  _his_ Sam, the former six foot four Moose with the most feminine hair that he has ever seen and a soul that shines so bright for those who love, this man turned woman would sacrifice everything for everyone... He took her hands and gave them a squeeze and placed it on his vessel's chest. "I'm here, Sam and I'm not an illusion... I'm not going anywhere not unless you want me gone." He said while he waited for her reply...

 

Sam truly felt lost, more lost than before. "I... I don't want you to go but I don't want you to stay... Gabriel, I want so many things... but I'm scared of screwing it up, I need help."

 

 

Gabriel sighed softly and brushed her tears away.

 

 

"Do you trust me, Babydoll?" He asked while Sam took a little longer to reply but she nodded nonetheless and they took off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

They appeared in Gabriel's private sanctuary in Italy.

 

 

 

 

He carried Sam outside where the cool starlit night sky and the full moon was their company for the night, he set her down on the stone bench covered by intertwined lush green vines with a few wildflowers growing around them, the surrounding area was covered in lush green vines and one large Angel Oak tree in the center and a couple Wisteria trees at the side, a few circular lights held by something invisible gave it a majestic look. "It's beautiful here, Gabe..." She said softly while Gabriel smiled even if the situation was messed up in its own way, there were moments like this.

 

"...It reminds me of the home used to live in before all the shitty things." He said while Sam gripped his arm and he let her pull him into an embrace. "... How is this possible?" She asked him getting straight to the point while Gabriel scrutinized a bit then let out a sigh. "To be honest, I don't really know. All I remember was after meeting your Dad... Memories came at me like a tidal wave, I couldn't get up and I was in a very bad place." He didn't elaborate further because why should he? Gabriel knew if he told Sam that he spent the remaining time going Vegas style mixed with the Playboy bunnies because he didn't know how he actually felt for Sam so he canoodled a bit. 

 

He wasn't going to hurt her especially now that she was hurting herself even more.

 

"Gabriel... I'm so glad you're here..."

 

 

"Glad to be here, kiddo..."

 

 

 

 

 

>  
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> * * *
> 
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Too good to be true.

 

 

That was what Sam thought as she lay down with Gabriel on his bed in the master bedroom, he just held her while she basked in the sweet moment of peace but despite the feeling, she was very afraid that if she slept and wake up the next day, she would just wake up in an empty bed back in the motel. Some things were too good to even be true, the past few weeks seem to pass by so fast that she grew afraid of her impending death and descent downstairs.

 

The romance she has with Gabriel feels like it was right out of a cliche movie with twists and turns that hurts but if she knows anything from both past and present, love hurts you.

 

 

Gabriel, the Archangel was running his hand down her back, the fingertips were making patterns and if she could guess then it was Enochian. This moment seemed so surreal because she heard his slow steady heartbeat and how soothing it was to hear, it was better than a dead body... His cold dead body was etched in her mind that it haunted her, the Trickster Archangel just tear down her walls and held her.

 

 

She was in pieces and he was the one piecing her back together.

 

 

How did it happen? Why did she let it happen? Just why?

 

 

She was so sure that she could do this without any romance thrown into the mix and those past twenty-one years of solitude from romance and celibacy was thrown out the window, they said when you're in love you tend to lose your yourself and all your reservations because all you want to do is hold on to that feeling where you can lay yourself bare and trust without a doubt but if love has this sweet side then it also has it's bitter side, to love would mean you would let yourself get hurt but what's the difference?

 

She loved... Loves her brother to the point where she would do anything for him.

 

 

Even if he doesn't want her, she was there to catch him as he did the same to her, time and time again.

 

 

But the familial love was far different from romantic love, could she really love Gabriel even when she still has scars from the past? "I may not be able to read your mind but I can tell you're thinking a lot of things, Samshine," Gabriel spoke and she tilted her head up staring at those whiskey shot eyes made her weaker than she ever felt. "I always think sometimes I overthink that I get lost in my own thoughts." She replied while Gabriel turned to the side, he was a little taller with this position, with both his arms around her... She could feel the energy around them was calm, soothing and warm as if it was a coming home sensation.

 

 

"You were always the smart one even if you did make bad decisions, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions." He said while she chuckled a bit. "I did think that all I did was good until Dean gave me a reality check and so did Cas... And so did you even if it was a hundred and four deaths on a Tuesday." Gabriel had to admit, sometimes honesty can be funny because it leads to situations like this. "You did what you can, you fixed what was already a fucked up situation." He said while she thumbed his cheek. 

 

 

 

"And to think, you're the janitor when we first met."

 

"And Dad made you Humanity's Janitor, funny, right?"

 

 

 

 

They both had a chuckle at that, the foreshadowing was such a bitch like Fate. 

 

 

It was a miracle that he could thank his Father over and over again, the memories may have been a bitch and the other ordeal too but he was glad he knows things that could've been avoided but it makes him feel that there's something consequential if something like the Apocalypse was avoided. "How long have you known everything?" He asked curiously while Sam bit her bottom lip and sighed. "Ever since... I was born, I was this thirty-five-year-old man stuck inside a baby girl's body and I had to go through puberty again and experience everything again. My mind was basically split into two of whether I should do this, not do this, save or not to save and with all the memories..." She drifted into rambles while Gabriel pulled her close and comforted the woman.

 

"Sam, it's alright... I'm here you don't have to do this alone."

 

 

 

 

And she relaxed, without a doubt or worry.

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
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_When will it end?_

 

_The countless wars fought, the ground paved with the blood of the innocent and damn, brothers and sisters lay slaughtered covered by fatal wounds. Weapons, fire everywhere..._

 

_Where is this?_

 

**_Help! Help Please I beg you of mercy!_ **

 

_Stop. Please. What is this?_

 

**Mercy is swift to those who earn it, you have sided with the Fallen One, sister... Mercy will not be swift for you.**

 

_Wings, armors, broken wings, broken faces..._

 

_Screams, so many screams..._

 

_Praying, they're praying._

 

_Something is covering the land._

 

 

_**The Darkness comes for vengeance upon the Light** _

 

 

 

Sam was in the middle of a clearing full of dead angels and demons, the land covered with blood and a dark sky that made her feel unsettled that walking around the corpse whose faces were stuck in permanent horror but what made her horrified was that all of them had black streaks down their faces... "What is this?" She asked horrified because everything just plucked from a Stephen King's book and crossover with an H.P Lovecraft novel then Hollywood decided to dramatized it, it was nightmarish. 

 

 

"Something worse than what we've all faced in the past, Sam." Someone spoke behind her and she turned around to find... 

 

 

 

 

 

"What the hell?"  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. This Is War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry # 13
> 
> Enough is enough.
> 
> The war is brewing over the horizon and I will not stand by with what I've seen and been through, the future is at stake. I need to pull myself together... I need to for everyone.
> 
> It's time to face destiny.
> 
> \- S. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sabriel Smut Up Ahead.
> 
>  
> 
> Skip it if you don't want it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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>  _A warning to the people, the good and the evil_  
>  _This is war_  
>  _To the soldier, the civilian, the martyr, the victim_  
>  _This is war_
> 
>  _It's the moment of truth and the moment to lie_  
>  _And the moment to live and the moment to die_  
>  _The moment to fight, the moment to fight,_  
>  _To fight, to fight, to fight_
> 
>  _To the right to the left_  
>  _We will fight to the death_  
>  _To the edge of the earth,_
> 
>   
>  _It's a brave new world from the last to the first_  
>  _To the right, to the left,_  
>  _We will fight to the death_  
>  _To the edge of the earth_
> 
>   
>  _It's a brave new world, it's a brave new world_
> 
>  **-[This Is War by Thirty Seconds to Mars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMAVLXk9QWA)**
> 
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> 
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This is not what she had expected.

 

 

 

 

 

Of all the beings or people to appear before her, it was Lucifer.

 

 He was wearing Nick.

 

 

The very being who caused so much pain for her tortured her and twisted her perception of reality but when it all came down to fighting one last war that decided the fate of the world, he stood by them even if he was that little cynical bastard who told them pessimistic thoughts but that aside, why was here in her dreams of all things? Another conjured nightmare from the past or was it something else?

 

"Lucifer?" She asked while he beckoned her to follow him and bypassing the carnage that she noticed made his jaw clench. "I don't have much time, Sam and I can't explain everything to you, follow me and listen well." He said while she schooled her profile and followed him, whatever this was didn't just bother him but made him tense, eyes narrowing at every corner with his respective angel blade poised ready to strike down an enemy. 

 

"What is this place, Lucifer and what happened?" She asked while he halted by an alleyway, the Devil then ushered her first to climb the ladder and she climbed fast, she noted that rather than teleport them, they did it manually. 

 

 

When they reached the top, she saw that the metal handlebars had wardings on it and even on the floor had various angelic proof wards and demonic ones. "This is what happens in the future, Sam. No lies or tricks." He said gravely that she couldn't believe it. "This is all in my head, you have to be lying, I never set anything off nor did I do anything major..." She tries assuring herself but seeing Lucifer pursed his lips. "Far from it, Sam, it's what you _didn't_ do. You were afraid and scared, stuck in the past, drowning in sorrow and wearing your sins like a noose that hangs you between life and death. This happened because you were afraid to make the decisions, you doubted that the what-ifs than take risks." He spoke in a chilly calmness that reminded Sam of a cool brewing storm.

 

 

 

"...How do you expect me to recover and act as if the past never happened? Move on as if those deaths didn't matter and act like everything is okay when Heaven and Hell are manipulating things in the background, what do you expect, Lucifer?" She asked feeling heat boil in her heart.

 

"I expected so much from you, Sam but one thing I didn't expect was for you to act like me. Wallow in things that have already come to past, thinking of the alternatives and mind leaning to neverending misfortunes. You expect yourself to handle things just fine but when you're really on the brink of insanity, you told me once that you were never going to be like me but what are you doing, Sam?" He asked calmly, the sweet soother asked while she started to breathe through her nose forcing herse to calm.

 

"What is this? Divine intervention?" She asked sharply while Lucifer gave her a rueful smile. "You have so much fire, a fire that is hot and cold like me but yours burn for the ones you love but how long can you make that fire last? The future is in shambles when an old enemy returned, she exacted her revenge on Heaven and decided to drag Earth and Hell, our world is already fading and with a small amount of push, Heaven lay in ruins while Hell cracked, souls of both innocent and damn were taken while Purgatory opened it's doors to the Leviathans to fest upon the Fallen, it didn't take more than a few months before everything turned desolate." Lucifer said bitterly while Sam started to pace. 

 

"That sounds impossible, why would God-"

 

"He's dead, Sam... His own sister killed him right in front of our eyes while the Leviathans feasted on his corpse."

 

 

She stopped and took a good long look at Lucifer, how tired he was and how broken, jagged... Nightmares than run in his own mind, the tense posture... Like her.

 

 

"She killed them, it started with God then she ripped apart Heaven... Right in front of the Heavenly Host, she threw his decapitated head while Michael... He was beyond furious alongside everyone, they didn't stop and think but charged out at her, rage corrupted them that it was an easy fight, once Heaven was destroyed she cast them down unto the Earth where she presented to every being alive of what she had done to Paradise and God. Michael, Raphael and myself were left with siblings struggling with the Great Fall but little did we know that wasn't the end..."

 

 

"It was only the beginning of our suffering."

 

 

 

Lucifer motioned Sam to edge in which everything felt cold, colder than anything she had ever felt.

 

 

In the clearing was Chuck's head on a pole surrounded by the bodies of those knew, dead and lifeless, decaying due to the elements... They were all crucified. "Oh, God..." She felt her legs shake and fell to the ground but her head did not bow, it stayed on the massive crucifixion site. "....Lucifer..." This was the first time she ever saw him cry, the pain and anguish in his eyes burn bright but from his frame alone, he was fragile as glass, ready to break. "They're gone, Sam... All of them, the rest of humanity is hiding from the Darkness and her minions but do you know the worse part?" He asked hoarsely while she dreaded to even ask.

 

 

"She took something so precious and turned it against us..."

 

 

Looking beyond the massive pile of rotting corpses, she saw a massive projection of... herself, hair curled to the side with a sleek finish and eyes dark almost black that emanate the coldness and hatred for what she sees and dressed in a black suit, she didn't recognize her own self because this person radiated a cold dark chill with a dominating aura that makes you want to fear and respect her. "That can't be me, it's not-"

 

"Possible? Sam, the Darkness corrupted you when you took a direct hit from her to protect Gabriel... You saved him, you loved him so much that you would throw away everything..."

 

 

"What are you implying, Lucifer?" She asked frustratedly while Lucifer laughed humorlessly. "Sam, when you made that deal with Azazel, you got more than what you bargained for, the armies of Hell would sooner follow you than a raving lunatic and once you had that power, you sought for order and Hell was one with it's Queen. You had an army and equipped with the knowledge of the past, you were a devastating General, a leader, Sam... And for love, you threw yourself in the line of fire." He said in a frosted tone that made her bristled in indignation. "Then what is this all about, Lucifer? That is if you really are him and not some hallucination. You are in the Cage, my mind is blocked... Who are you and why are you wearing his face?" She asked with her own blistering cold tone that everything faded to white while the one that stood in Lucifer's place was replaced by a woman, who was giving her a knowing smile.

 

 

 

 

"It's amazing how you can think and act logically without emotions clouding your judgment, Sam." The woman said calmly while Sam pursed her lips. "I really don't like beings invading my mind, I had enough of those in one lifetime." She said rather annoyed while the woman still had a smile. "Of course but this is not just what it seems, my brother's life is in danger and I cannot simply intervene." She said while Sam raised a brow. "Can we start with what's your name and why show me an Apocalyptic world out of a Hollywood set?" She asked while the woman bowed. 

 

 

"I apologize but my name is Destiny." Sam was lucky there were no bugs in whatever place she is or she would've swallowed them with her mouth wide open.

 

 

 

 

 

"You see, Sam... There are several of us known as _Primordial Entities_ , we existed when the Great Creator made us, we know not much except that the Creator made us, to create the vast Universe and fill it with life and stories of expanding variables and countless options. Life and Death, Light and Darkness, Time and Space, Knowledge and Wisdom, Creation and Destruction, Fate and Destiny. We are the Children of the Great One but over time the balance of the energies was disturbed when Light and Darkness fought, without one another co-existing in peace would cause an influx of energy that fights for dominance." Destiny explained while Sam's eyes widened.

 

"Light cannot exist without Darkness and Darkness cannot exist without Light, the future I showed you is one that Time has shown me. A possible alternative reality where Darkness has successfully killed Light and the world was plunged in certain chaos." Destiny said sadly while the human woman started to breathe heavily. "And you want me to fix your siblings' spat?" She asked almost losing composure while Destiny sighed. "Sam, you and your brother are favored by the Great Creator. You defied us and lived through it, you fought and won but this one is different because should Darkness win, we will _all_ suffer, not just your dimension but everything." She said gravelly while Sam ran a hand through her hair.

 

 

"Then what am I suppose to do? How many times do I have to ask that damn question before someone answers me?" She asked almost exploding at the Primordial Being, Destiny can feel the burning temper brimming from the woman. "Do what you do best, hunt and survive Sam but never forget that each action has a consequence, Beloved Daughter..." Destiny said as she touched Sam's shoulder and Sam met her gaze, green meeting golden hues. "The future isn't set in stone, things may be foretold but knowing you and your brother, you have a tendency to forge your own path. I am warning you of the future to come, the Darkness is coming and she has been manipulating a lot of situations that you thought was from heaven or Hell." Destiny warned.

 

 

"But why tell me this?" She asked while Destiny smiled and brushed Sam's cheek. "You are blessed, Sam, you are special and it's about time you get out of the hole of self-pity and rise."

 

 

_"You will rise, Sam Winchester and you will be glorious."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

She woke up with a short intake of breath.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was maddening, to know things that are essentially fucked up and do nothing except prepare for it, running a hand through her hair was beginning to be a norm for her, sighing deeply she took in her surroundings and it registered in her mind that she was laying down comfortably in a large canopy four poster bed with the curtains drawn letting the sunlight and morning breeze in that she shivered, it took a moment for her mind to get the morning haziness of sleep to slip from her that she noticed that she was only dressed in an oversized white shirt.

 

Sitting up, she took a good look at the bedroom and it was surprisingly lacking in tacky or overly expensive furniture that belongs in a museum.

 

 

_Bark! Bark!_

 

She heard the familiar bark of the corgi named Maxi Spot.  _"Hush you Pooch, she might still be asleep."_ She smiled seeing those frosted glass double doors open and the little dog immediately jumped on the bed to the woman who welcomed the happy mutt. "Morning, Gabriel..." Her voice held a bit of a slur due to just being used now, the Archangel was a carrying a tray of what she smelled as breakfast and her morning wake up call, coffee. "Morning, Babydoll..." He replied and set the tray on the nightstand while Maxi laid down at her side.  _'Oddly domestic.'_ She thought and despite the eerie dream or visitation from Destiny, Gabriel always managed to clear the bad air.

 

They sat and ate in relative calmness. "Gabriel... I have a question..." She asked after she sipped her Brazilian coffee, she didn't doubt that Gabriel went there to actually get some. She noticed that normally chatty Patty was subdued, he was... different. "What is it?" He asked while Sam looked at him even if he was avoiding her gaze. "You're quite... Is anything wrong?" She asked while the youngest Archangel twitch a bit hoping she didn't see was a fruitless effort, she was beginning to suspect he did something. "What did you do?" She asked while Gabriel met her gaze in an almost sheepish but worried way.

 

"Well... Dean-O came back and saw the room, saw the razor and well... He's basically blowing up the roof and add to the fact that you disappeared, he went pure Hunter and thought Gordon did something and well, tied him up and went Inquisitor on the man asking where you are." Sam nearly dropped her cup. "W-wait what?! I have to go back before, Dean does something stupid, Christ!" She put the cup on the table and tried to get up but Gabriel pushed her back down gently. "Down Moosey, you gotta let me finish." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Gabriel, I need to be there just in case anything happens, you already danced to this tune before and you know what happens in the end." She said while the Archangel rolled his eyes.

 

"Obviously, it did get me killed." She tried not to flinch but she still did while Gabriel cussed at himself mentally. "I didn't mean it like that, Babydoll." He consoled and rubbed her shoulders. "I told big brother, Dean, that you are with me and we are working our issues and that we'll back be soon. The vampire hunt is done and Singer is with him working out the negotiations for the exchange, I made sure that Gordy is knocked out fully and the antidote is with Singer since Dean-O is in his Michael Mode." Sam felt her eye twitch and forced herself to calm down. "Then why mention that last?" She gritted her teeth while the Trickster Archangel just gave her a saccharine smile.

 

"I may not have my height and muscle mass-"

 

"Actually you still have the height and the mass went to those awesome racks!"

 

 

 

Now that was the Gabriel she knew, a crude and honest bastard.

 

 

She sighed but her lips did a small twitch. "Our issues?" She echoed while the Archangel gave her an  _Are-You-Seriously-Acting-Like-You-Don't-Know_ while she raised a brow. "You do realize that I went to the crapper bad and you expect me to just know things?" She asked while Gabriel grinned a bit. "Well for starters, I have already been _OB_ - _VIOUS_ as fuck and back then Cassie even asked if I need a neon sign because you were so oblivious, Moose!" He said in a mock hurt tone while had a bit of a cringed look. "You know what we were going through, Gabe... I didn't want my emotions to control or to let Dean know, my track record of romances was not nice and he'll just... put me down for it, remind me of what you did to us and how you were bad for me." She replied in a soft tone that Gabriel sighed.

 

"It was a little extreme-"

 

"A little?" She asked in a deadpanned tone while Gabriel raised his hand. "Fine! Very extreme, happy?" She nodded while Gabriel flicked her nose. "Cheeky brat, anyways, did you get the memories too?" Sam shook her head. "I don't know, I mean... Your Dad, God... After we gave Dean and Cas their funeral, he said I could fix everything so I took the chance and I did ask if I could retain my memories as well as the weapons and etc..." Gabriel raised a brow. "Is it back at the Men of Letters bunker?" He asked while frowned. "No, I asked him if he could find another location, you and I both know that the bunker has already been compromised despite the wards." She said while Gabriel nodded. "Then where did Dad put it all?" He asked while Sam grinned.

 

 

"Behind Cummins Falls... We can go there soon..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

      

 

**Cummins Falls, Tennesse**

_Bunker 2.0_

 

 

 

The place was massive.

 

 

"Behind that?!" Gabriel gawked as they stood a few feet away from the majestic waterfalls, the water was cool and blessed, Sam explained that God blessed the water itself so it's practically one of the holiest water there is and noticing the various runes etched unto the rocks and on the ground itself. "Dad really outdid himself, huh?" He said out loud while Sam nodded. "You're gonna need this, it's a key to the place and a one-time thing, once you get out you're gonna need a new one." She said sheepishly as she handed him a coin. "We're not going Greek style, are we Sammy-girl?" He asked while she gave him the stink-eye.

 

"If I knew that you actually know everything then I would've made a permanent one." She replied in a clipped tone and Gabriel looked at the coin that has a lot of various runes. "Since when did you get into Runeology?" He asked while Sam glanced at him from the side and sighed. "After you and Lucifer died, as powerful as Enochian was, it wasn't enough to stop the corruption so we needed to improvise hence the rune works... It worked for a while until they found another way to bypass it so Cas had this great idea to mix it but it didn't work out the first few tries..."

 

"What happened?"

 

"... Let's just say Dean dubbed us as Pyromaniacs..." 

 

 

Sam instructed Gabriel to flipped the coin thrice and insert a bit of his grace then throw it into the waters, after a while, the runes began to glow from under the water and a bridge appeared as the waterfalls began to part. "Quick question, as stupid as it sounds but how come these people aren't noticing anything?" Gabriel asked while Sam snorted. "Apparently, God likes Harry Potter and took a note on the Notice-Me-Not spell." Gabriel whistled and it gave him a few ideas. "You think we can go to Harry Potter soon? I bet Nicholas would get a kick out of it." Sam just rolled her eyes and they walked on forward until they reached the entrance. 

 

"Hold on..." 

 

"Is that an excuse to just hold my hand or is it a requirement?"

 

"A little of both."

 

When they entered the newly dubbed Bunker 2.0, Gabriel was impressed. "Mind giving me the tour, Babydoll?" He asked while Sam hummed. "The place has fifteen floors in total and yes, I managed to actually see everything here without Dean and I managed to categorize each room, thankfully, your Dad knows how organized I am." She mused and lead Gabriel to the elevator which was written in Enochian. "Security risked?" He asked while she nodded. "I had to be careful even though you're the first person I brought here, I just wanted to make sure that-"

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **First Floor:** Library/ Research Room                    **Sixth Floor:** Living Quarters 1                                    **Eleventh Floor:** Laboratory Room
> 
> **Second Floor:**  Garage                                           **Seventh Floor:**  Living Quarters 2                                **Twelftth Floor:**  Inventory
> 
> **Third Floor:** Gym Room                                      **Eight Floor:**  Conferrence Room                                    **Thirteenth Floor:** Bar
> 
> **Fourth Floor:** Training Room                                **Ninth Floor:** Entertainment Room                            **Fourteenth Floor:** Interrogation Room
> 
> **Fifth Floor:** Armory Room                                    **Tenth Floor:** Pool Area                                                **Fifteenth Floor:** Holding Cells

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"-you trust me?" He felt a warm sensation pool in his chest seeing the blush on her cheeks. "...Y-yeah, your dad was the one that did all of the security around here and I just added the human things like CCTVs, motion sensors, heat sensors, and whatnot." They moved to the first floor which held a massive library and books covering from floor to ceiling, several computers at the side, a fireplace complete with comfortable chairs and a large sofa. "There's even a kitchen here." She mused while Gabriel nodded. "Your take on Heaven?" Sam chuckled. "Damn right, moving on." She said and Gabriel was impressed. "Dad really outdid himself..." He said while Sam nodded.

 

"He even gave us the Vatican's credit card since he owns it, he gave it to me while I used it to invest in a few things." Gabriel snorted and while Sam chuckled. "Yeah, I played Mr. Monopoly around here but it's for a good cause." She said while Gabriel believed, the woman doesn't have a corrupt bone in her body. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **(Warning: The Casa Erotica between Sam and Gabriel)**
> 
>  
> 
> _P.S Skip if you don't want to read it._
> 
>  

 

 

 

After an hour, they managed to cover everything and they were just lounging in the master room, it was the kind of silence that Sam expected that they were going to talk since no one else is around to disturb them, Sam found herself on top of Gabriel as he acted the like cushion and he didn't mind since she didn't weight much to him anyway. "You cheated..." She raised a brow. "Cheated how?" She asked while Gabriel clicked his tongue at her. "The guessing game, you already knew me, Babydoll." He said teasingly while she felt her lips form a knowing smile.

 

"You never played fair to begin with, Gabe, and we never established some ground rules except for the reward system." She said while the Archangel beneath chuckled.

 

"How about we play Hot and Cold? No one else is here besides us and the couch that needs some christening." He suggested lewdly while she felt warm, raising her head from his chest, she met his gaze which made her gasped lightly. Those eyes should be considered sinful alongside with that smile. "You're an incorrigible hedonist for an Archangel." She said while Gabriel just smirk. "Better use that mouth for something else, Baby." He suggested while she brushed Gabriel's cheek and kissed him.

 

The Trickster Archangel let out a guttural growl as he felt those cherry lips, it was sweet and addicting so he took a bite, relishing the soft gasped that the woman on top of him released, he took the moment and dived in, exploring her mouth but as Sam snapped out of her stupor, she began fighting his tongue.

 

Gabriel sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist while they grinded in a rhythm that would make a porn star jealous.

 

 

Sam hastily pulled Gabriel's shirt and the buttons fell on the floor with thuds that the archangel moaned feeling those warm hands on him, he broke their kiss as she played his nipples, teasing those perky pink sensitive nubs. "Impatient, Babydoll?" He asked while Sam gave a small nibble on the side of his neck, Gabriel swore that the woman was a natural with her mouth because they weren't getting to the good part yet and he was already turning putty. "I missed one lifetime, Gabriel... That lifetime where I had a dick, a dick that could've been driving you to orgasms that even your illusions couldn't fulfill." She whispered and the Archangel keened feeling those petite hands travel south.

 

"Hot or cold?" She asked while Gabriel groaned feeling her ministrations stop. "If you stop then it's going to be cold, baby." He replied while Sam smirked.

 

 

She pushed Gabriel down while she straddled him, the Huntress peppered her lover with kisses and nips that left him moaning, teeth and tongue with those sensual lips would make any man quiver. When she reached down to his pants where a noticeable bulge was straining his pants. "As much as I love our primal side... let's cut to the chase..." Gabriel said and with a snap of his fingers, they were both naked as the day they were born. "Who's the impatient one now?" She mumbled while Gabriel smirked. "Like you said, Babydoll, we wasted one lifetime." He said and threaded his fingers in her hair while Sam got the indication rather than doing what he wants, she savored the touch of their bare skin.

 

 

"We may have wasted one lifetime, Gabe... We can't act too rash, if I still had my dick then I would've let you but I'm not a male anymore, I'm a chick with a perfectly working reproductive system." She said while Gabriel let her met his eye level, golden hues met emerald gaze, he liked their naked bodies pressed together. "I can pull out or do you want me to use a rubber?" He asked while she nuzzled her face into his neck. "I want it raw, I want to feel you inside of me but I don't want to be pregnant..." She murmured while Gabriel started teasing her folds with his dick, those folds slowly moistened feeling the slight friction.

 

 

"I can make you infertile for a while..." He suggested even if that decision sat on the bad side, Sam accepted it but made sure that next time...they'll do something different.

 

 

 

"Are you still a virgin, Babydoll?" He asked while nodded, Sam felt the heat rush into her already flushed cheeks.

 

"Such a precious one..." He said and gave her a lingering kiss, his Sam was still untouched and he could probably thank the Father and Son duo for that... Untouched, pure and he was going to be her first. "I'm honored to be your first, Sammy..." He whispered and promised that he was going to bring her to Nirvana and make her scream as he brings her orgasm after orgasm... "This will hurt but I promise I won't make it last, Babydoll..." He said while she nodded, she trusted Gabriel...

 

 

With his promise, Gabriel did ensure that Sam forgot about the pain and brought upon nerve-shattering orgasms, one after the another, their bodies were intertwined and Sam was pretty sure her throat would ache in the morning with all the screaming, begging and... well other things...

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _Bringggggggg Bringgggggggg Bringgggggggg!_

 

 

 

The annoying persistent ringing of a cellphone woke Sam up as she felt sore and languid from her position in the bed... Wait what? "When did we get into bed?" She asked out loud, her voice was a bit slurred and achy. "I moved us here, we wouldn't want you waking up sore well...sore-er, Babydoll," Gabriel answered beside her, his eyes were half-lidded and he had an easy smile and Sam couldn't help but smile back despite the reminder of the soreness between her legs and throat. 

 

They were both basking in the afterglow but that moment was disturbed by the constant ring of Sam's cell phone.

 

"You better get that..." He said and she sighed looking at the nightstand where her phone ringing like an annoying sibling constantly doing that thing that annoys you and like irony, it was Dean calling her...

 

 

"Good morning, De..." 

 

 

> **"Holy shit, what the hell happened to you, Sammy."**
> 
>  

"Long story, I'll tell you when I get back..." She said and when Gabriel just cocked his head to the side with a curved smile that made Sam a bit weary. "I'll go ahead and make breakfast, Babydoll." He said loud enough that Dean could hear it, she gave him a nasty look but Gabriel gave her a loud smooch and Dean was stunned on the other side of the phone... 

 

Sam was hoarse and possibly still tired, Loki was beside her...

 

 

> **"Did you two just shagged up?"**

 

 

 

 

The Huntress groaned this was going to be a long day.

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Languid as a cat.

 

 

Sam felt every nerve of her body relaxed and as much as she loathes to admit it, sex was a good cure for stress and frustration with her kind of baggage, multiple orgasms were her relaxing agent even if it did seem unorthodox, ever since she and Gabriel met up with Dean again, the smug bastard had a shit eating grin that made the Trickster uneasy. "Where to?" Dean asked as they were driving down the road with the familiar cassette tapes playing those classic rock songs. 

 

"... Mom's death anniversary is coming up."

 

 

The two men were silent as they looked at the brunette woman who was looking out the window. "Sam..." Dean started while she gave him a side glance and smiled. "I just want to pay my respects to the woman who brought me to this world." She said and unconsciously rubbed the ring on her left middle finger, it was a simple silver band ring but it wasn't just a ring, it was the engagement ring that John Winchester saved up for Mary Campbell, the very ring that survived in the fire.

 

Dean's eyes were on the road but he couldn't help but pat his sister's head. "Mom would've been proud of you, Sammy, you're the first Winchester to graduate college with honors and all." He cheered her up while Sam leaned over and nuzzled her head briefly on his shoulder like a cat.

 

"She would've been proud of you too, Dean. I wouldn't be here if weren't for you."

 

 

Gabriel smiled as he watched the siblings interact but also felt hallow, it was a melancholic sight seeing them because it reminded him of his brothers and sisters. He hopes that his siblings could take a note from the Winchester, jagged and flawed yet united, Heaven and Hell may work against them but if Gabriel knew them and he did, they will always find a new way. "You know it's just an empty grave, right?" Dean said while Sam hummed. "It's still a place where we could go to and pay our respects." She replied while Dean just decided to shut up and let it go, for now.

 

 

"Did the two of you use protection last night?"

 

"Oh, God..."

 

Gabriel laughed. "Don't worry, you won't be an Uncle anytime soon, Dean-O but I must say... If you ever meet a quiet girl then the quote _It's Always The Quiet Ones_ would apply, your sister just proved that last night." Sam buried her burning face in Dean's shoulder while her older brother had a good laugh. "Well, at least you got that stick out of your ass." He joked while Sam groaned. "Shut up the both of you..."

 

 

They had a good laugh.

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Gabriel.

 

 

When Micheal and Raphael saw the youngest Archangel travel with the Winchester siblings they knew that the events that will take place will be different from before. "You can't blame him, I heard from Lucifer that Gabriel was attracted to Sam," Michael told a slightly baffled Raphael. "I see... If Gabriel has his memories then what would that mean?" He inquired the Prince of Heaven. "Well it means, we have to have a talk with our little brother," Micheal said while Raphael nodded.

 

"Speaking of little brother, how is Castiel fairing?" Raphael had a slight winched look. "He is having difficulties accumulating the memories, members of his garrison reported that Castiel has been rather odd with spurring pop culture references and the sudden urge to drink beer and consume food." Micheal ah'ed and chuckled a bit. "Let it be known, the Winchesters did influence him and their influence was the first thing that appeared before his memories." He mused while Raphael didn't share his sentiments.

 

"He also seems to be afraid when he sees me." He added while Micheal put a hand on his shoulder.

 

"Father said that the strongest memories will appear first before the remaining ones, give him time to gather his bearings."

 

 

The two Archangels teleported to the gate of Heaven and passed by the golden gates and stared down at the edge where they could see the multitude of stars and Earth with its inhabitants. "Won't anyone notice that we are missing?" Raphael asked while Michael shrugged. "They can't always rely on us for every single thing, they are full grown, I think it's high time they learn, don't you?" The Healer Archangel snorted and sighed after. 

 

"As long as no civil wars will happen, one lifetime is enough." 

 

 

And the two descended unto the Earth silently.

 

 

"What's our agenda, Michael?" Raphel asked while the oldest Archangel flicked the dust off his vessel's shirt, which was the younger version of John Winchester. "First off, we need to visit a sister of ours, Anna, I believe, yes... Then there's Balthazar and Gabriel." He listed while Raphael nodded. "Where is she now?" He asked while Micheal halted his younger brother. "Rather than teleport, I think we'll blend better if we drive?"

 

Raphael looked at Michael like he grew two heads. "You have to be joking, do you even know how to drive?" He asked even if his voice did hit a bit of a pitch. "No time like the present and yes, I do know how to drive." He replied while Raphael doubted him. "Who even taught you how to drive, Michael?" He dreaded to ask while eldest Archangel snapped his fingers and a sleek black convertible appeared before them.

 

 

 

**1961 JAGUAR XKE ROADSTER**

 

 

 

 

 

"A1961 Jaguar XKE Roadster, of course, it does _not_ resemble the Impala at all, brother." Raphael couldn't help but leak his sarcasm as he entered the passenger seat while Michael just chuckled at his brother's expanse. "Relax brother, a professional taught me." Rapahel merely rolled his eyes but a deep trepidation hit him when Michael stepped on the gas and they took off like a bullet train.

 

"James Dean taught me!"

 

"MICHAEL!!!!!! Oh, Father, I'm gonna die!"

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

If God could facepalm at the childishness of his oldest then he would've done it by now but seeing Michael act carefree just made him let his oldest indulge even if Raphael was praying profusely for safety. "Kids..." He mused and winced a bit feeling a migraine follow after since new events were happening, it seems like Sam made the deal beforehand and certain things would be different, it seems like Gabriel and Sam managed to shack up, good but she didn't tell Gabriel she was going to Hell soon.

 

Bad.

 

"I hope you know what you're doing, Sam."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Natural

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Journal Entry #14
> 
> It's time to assemble the army, the sooner the better, I hope Gabriel backs me up because I am not looking forward to the conversation where I tell him that I basically sold my soul for my family. 
> 
> \- S. W

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pictures posted below are NOT mine, it belongs to their rightful owners and for those who are diehard SPN fans, I may have used lines posted from the SPN Wikia and some lines from the show ^^
> 
> We have another character coming up ^^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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> _That's the price you pay_  
>  _Leave behind your heartache, cast away_  
>  _Just another product of today_  
>  _Rather be the hunter than the prey_  
>  _And you're standing on the edge, face up 'cause you're a_
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> _Natural_  
>  _A beating heart of stone_  
>  _You gotta be so cold_  
>  _To make it in this world_  
>  _Yeah, you're a natural_  
>  _Living your life cutthroat_  
>  _You gotta be so cold_  
>  _Yeah, you're a natural_
> 
>  
> 
> **-[Natural by Imagine Dragons](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BPfyhhv7-c)**
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> * * *
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> * * *

 

 

 

 

 

Andy Gallagher was stumped.

 

 

 

 

Because right in front of him was a brunette woman who was taller than him and she was hot even if she was a bit intimidating while her partner was standing a few feet away from them with another guy, who he can tell, was not to mess with because of the dagger-like stare he was aiming at him just trying to do what he can do with the other people. "Andy Gallagher, my name is Sam Winchester and I'm guessing why we tailed and tied you up with a gag, right?" She asked him like it was normal that made him fear for his life and he just nodded.

 

 

"When you were twenty-two years old, your powers began to manifest. You noticed that you only had to say something and it'll be like Simon Said but rather than take it up a notch, you decided to lay low and live in a van. What if I told you that you aren't the only one with powers but there are thousands of us living in the dark?" She prompted while Andy's eyes widened and his jaw slackened a bit. He wanted to ask questions and Sam took it at that to remove his gag. 

 

 

 

"Are you serious? Is it some government conspiracy thing?" Sam wanted to humor him but she shook her head.

 

 

 

 

"It is serious but the human government has nothing to do with it and neither do aliens, Andy. We have or you have demon blood in your veins." Andy looked at her like she was crazy. "You're nuts if you think I'd believe you." So Sam sighed and did something that she thought she'd never do. There were a few rocks ranging in sizes even some sizeable boulders and with a few deep breaths, she put her hand out and her palm was open.

 

 

 

 

At first, it felt like nothing until a slow thrumming began then came the electrifying feeling then the small rocks began floating then the boulders started to circle Andy. 

 

 

 

 

 

"When did Sammy have time to do this?" He asked the Trickster who smiled knowingly. "I stuck her in a time loop that's good enough for... six months, give or take." He said while Dean looked at him and the older brother didn't know whether he should be grateful that Sam didn't actually waste away six months or peeved that her supposed boyfriend just stuck her in a time loop. "Babydoll was like a sponge, she soaked it all in." He added while Dean snorted. "If she doesn't get something then she won't sleep until she gets it, persistence is key has always been her motto," Dean said wistfully while Gabriel smirked because he knew what Dean exactly was talking about.

 

Another thing that Gabriel noticed that Dean was a lot more open and less recluse but one thing he noticed that underneath all of his overprotective and brotherly love, there was something else bottling him up, it was no secret to Heaven that the Winchesters are soulmates while it was explained to them that it doesn't have to be romantic in a sense but one thing they forgot to mention that it doesn't last, the no romance thing, yeah, the reason why Sam and Dean fought constantly was pure unadulterated sexual frustration. 

 

Souls were nuclear bombs or reactors as Castiel explained and he was right, one wrong move and just one human soul could cause damage to the natural balance.

 

 

Soulmates are considered two separate pieces that make a whole being, a powerful union that pulses with power thus everytime soulmates enter through Heaven's gates, they share a Heaven together and often contribute to the natural balance of energy like Yin and Yang, opposing forces that balance each other. Gabriel and his brother knew of the consequences of separating soulmates, it would cause cataclysmic consequences that upset the balance and if a human's soulmate dies without uniting with their other half then it would cause a determinable effect such as depression, anxiety and all the negativities of lost but the end line would be, they would die and follow their soulmate.

 

Thus the curious case of Sam and Dean Winchester.

 

 

 

Sam and Dean had always been together but they have never _united_ , so to speak, uniting by the physical plane would mean fornication which he knew won't be a problem because he can sense that underneath the meat suit the souls were calling out for each other and unknowingly to both of them, those lingering touches, embraces and kisses in platonic places were just the start. The imprint process was small but it was there, the bond was always frail due to events such as sleeping with other people, it may be good for a bit but for them, it was always empty even if the person they were sleeping with was a person they cared or loved.

 

So close yet so far, that's what applies to them.

 

That's why when one of them dies, another goes on a destructive path or a path of denial, blinding them of the reality that their other half was dead. When they're apart, they were broken and lost but when they were together even through rough patches, they still persevered through the challenges.

 

"-he's been spaced out for fifteen minutes now." Gabriel snapped out of it and saw his lover's worried gaze at him while Andy was uneasy with it. "Just some thoughts, Dean-O, are you done with Shaggy, Babydoll?" He asked while Sam nodded then Dean frowned. "If he's Shaggy, Sam's Velma... You're Scooby Doo then?" He asked while Sam facepalmed. "Nah, I'm Daphne because I'm the sexy one here besides Babydoll," Gabriel replied and the older Hunter looked crossed.

 

"You couldn't rock that look, Shortstack," Dean replied quipped. "And you're Fred, you're blonde and scream obvious with plans outrageous as the human psychology of morality and, you couldn't rock an ascot even if you tried," Gabriel replied with his friendly snark while Sam sighed, amused and exasperated. "Are they always like this?" Andy asked Sam while she nodded. "You're lucky enough that they won't rope you in because it's neverending, they're like a married couple." While Andy raised a brow. "Aren't you dating the tall one?" While Sam looked a bit peeved.

 

"Why does everyone assume I'm dating my brother?" She asked a bit confused while Andy apologized. "I don't know... It's the vibe, I guess." Sam took what was given and nodded. "Now we have to find your brother before he does any more damages." She said while Andy gulped. "This is some sort of weird karma, an evil twin, and supernatural things." He said in an almost spazzy way that made her smile because she did indeed miss Andy, she didn't get to know him on better circumstances but he was alright and so were the rest but dire circumstances changed them, she needed to get to the others before Azazel gets to them.

 

The first contact meant everything.

 

 

 

They found Ansem at the dam like before but he didn't have the victim with him.

 

 

 

Once they were done, they hunted down Ansem before he could claim another victim besides their mother but he was far too gone in grandeur plans that he didn't know were already set before he was born. "Get Dean out of here..." She asked Gabriel to teleport Dean away because only she and Andy can get close without being compelled by Ansem's power, she knew Dean would get pissed at her but she can take his anger than his life on the line. When they managed to get near Ansem, he started to spout those murders he committed like it was honorable, like he did Andy a favor.

 

"Kill her, Andy, she's just another competition, another expendable." Ansem pleaded while Sam felt a brief spike of irritation but she did nothing, this wasn't her brother nor was she going to do anything unless Andy showed signs of needing help. "But it's still wrong, Ansem. Killing innocent people, making them do things that even I didn't even do..." Andy started to shake. "Innocent? Our mother abandoned us and started her own family with another man, she separated us, the others wanted to separate us and you want to show them mercy?" Ansem asked incredulously while Sam noticed that Andy's hand was hovering over the gun hidden in his pocket.

 

"They deserve to die, Andy and she's the first one to go because she's in the way,  ** _Aim the gun at your head and shoot yourself_**." Sam wanted to roll her eyes and let herself bat the compulsion that Ansem was trying to do to her. "You can't make your fellow Special Children fall under your hypnosis spell, Ansem." She said while she flicked her hand making Ansem slam into the concrete floor. "Unless you trained yourself and become stronger but you won't get that chance." The fear in Ansem's eyes was evident that he started to thrash around and started to beg Andy to help him. "He's your brother, Andy, you need to make a choice now." She didn't want to pressure him but it was crucial.

 

If he wasn't going to shoot him then she would.

 

 

"Andy, please, don't let her kill me." He pleaded while Andy was silent and sullen that Sam had to glance at him worriedly. "Andy..." She brought him out of his thought while Andy took slow breaths and took the gun out of his pocket and aimed while Sam looked away.

 

"No! NO! ANDY PLEASE!"

 

**Bang!**

 

 

Andy puked at the sideline while she prayed to Gabriel that wherever they were, it was all good now. While Ansem may have been a lunatic, twisted by separation and abandonment issues that he aimed to please and grabbed the opportunity of reuniting with his twin, killing anyone who in his way, it surprised her when Andy covered Ansem with his jacket. "He's still my brother even if he was insane," Andy said while wiping the remnants of his dinner from his mouth. "What happens now, Sam?" He asked and the Huntress looked at him with a comforting smile.

 

"For one thing, we're going to train and I'm going to make sure that Azazel won't get his hands on you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>   

 

 

"Oh sweet Father, thank you for mercy," Raphael said as they stopped while Michael rolled his eyes. "Stop being dramatic, Raphael, it wasn't that bad." He said while Raphael was in his celestial form he didn't have eyes to let anyone see how twitchy it was but with his vessel, it was very evident. "We drove through dozens of red light, almost crashed into another car then a van and a truck then we had been chased by the human police forces, we were getting shot at and you snapped your fingers to make it go away but the damage was evident that left various people speculating that aliens had attacked everyone within the vicinity and that their memories were erased!" Raphael lost his temper and he had a good reason to.

 

"But we're still alive-" "Barely!"

 

He let his little brother stew with his problem. "We're here anyways." They approached the desolate grounds of the once holy institute of the St. Mary's Convent where the entrance of Lucifer's Cage was located, once they collected themselves, they unsheathed their blades and the two Archangels were on high alert because they deep in demonic lands but fortunately for them, there were no demons in sight and as they approached the altar room, they could feel the thrum of energy.

 

But one thing they didn't expect was that Lucifer was there sitting crossed legs on the floor with a pensive look.

 

 

"What took you so long?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

They decided that Andy would come with them.

 

 

And it's not like Andy has anywhere else to go unless he wanted to be captured by Azazel, he followed them as they traveled back to the safe house then they'd travel to the Roadhouse but Andy wasn't used to the long travels and without anyone traveling with him, they decided to stop by a nearby motel to recuperate from the events. "He killed his brother?" Dean asked her as they were alone inside the Impala while Gabriel decided to go somewhere. "Yeah..." She didn't want to say anything else but knowing Dean, he'd keep asking.

 

"Why? He could've saved him, you could've saved him." Dean said while Sam shook her head. "Azazel already approached him, he was far too gone, Dean... You should've seen him, he was begging Andy to kill me so they could be together, so they could be more powerful than anyone... He was...lost and drunk in his power." She said and flinched from the implication because she had a brief flashback of what happened to her in the past, drunk in power thinking what she did was right. "Mercy killing, then?" She didn't answer and leaned on his shoulder.

 

"Dean... If that ever happened to me, please-" 

 

"Don't even think about continuing that sentence, Sam. You know I'd everything and anything to keep you safe." _'_ _You did, Dean...even in death.'_ She thought solemnly. "I don't want to hurt you to the point that it'll be me breaking you to pieces, I need you to be safe, Dean... I want you to be happy, will you promise me that? Will you try to be happy even when I'm gone?" She asked while Dean gripped the steering wheel. "You ask those questions as if you're going to die, are you, Sam?" She wanted to say yes but she stayed silent. 

 

"With you guarding me like a hellhound, I doubt it."

 

She lied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

It was tingling sensation down his spine.

 

 

He was being summoned by his brothers and it could be anyone but he was still cautious as he approached the creepy building that felt as if demons were around, he didn't want to die anytime soon thank you very much, he was just starting his relationship with his Moose, dying would be counterproductive. He slowed his steps and looked around, waiting for a surprise attack that never came. The place didn't seem to have any wards.

 

 

 

"Gabriel..." It was familiar, the voice that was deep but not very deep and smooth gravel.

 

 

 

"Hello, little brother..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>   _"The pieces are almost complete..."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
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> **Celestial Fate & Destiny**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Brother, why have you interfered with the plans?" 

 

 

Light a.k.a God who is also Chuck Shurley, sighed as he was approached by his siblings. "Fate... Destiny, a pleasure to see you two again." His tone betrayed his initial statement, he looked away as his sisters stood a few feet away from him. "Brother, you know that the consequences will be grave." Fate said while Destiny sighed. "You know that their road will be harder now, you gave them the necessary tools but how can you be sure that they won't fail?" While Chuck shrugged. "I don't know but they have defied you enough times to know that whatever was thrown at them, they will get back up and throw something harder." The two sisters said nothing because they knew.

 

 

"And don't act as if I was the only one to help them." He eyed Fate, wherein she smiled knowingly whereas Destiny groaned. "Sister, please tell me you didn't." She begged while Fate hummed. "Then I won't tell you, worrywart." She said while Destiny muttered about crazy siblings. "You know with that, you have just changed the outcome!" Destiny said while her twin sister continued to look at the setting sun with their brother. "Some things will remain the same but with a small altercation, it is better this way, the chosen one will have an army and people that will fortify her resolution." She started while Destiny held Fate's hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**"He will be her sword and shield, he will be the body while she will be his mind and body, she will be the heart and soul. They will mend the broken bond, a union so strong that even the forces of Light and Dark cannot break. They are the pieces that make a whole, the Great Creator smiles upon them, they are fated to fight, fall but they will rise for they are destined for greatness as seen and told by the natural power and blessed by the Creator of Beginnings."** _

 

 

The Propechy was foretold.

 

 

And it was written down, it'll be published soon and soon everyone will know because Chuck decided that every prophet has written down the exactly what was announced and he hoped for the Winchesters' sake that they will bond soon because time was running out, Amara was nearing and there wasn't enough time to assemble the army, the Apocalypse could screw it because it's just going to screw the already disturbed natural balance.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

What. The. Hell.

 

 

That's what Michael and Raphael thought as they saw Lucifer, he was out of the cage and not wrecking havoc of any kind, he was just sitting there with a bored yet troubled look. "Father just let you go?" Raphael asked for the second time in which Lucifer rolled his eyes and nodded. "Yes, for Father's sake, I don't know how and why but I can guess it can relate to Sam." He said then the two other Archangels looked at each other with a raised eyebrow. "What do you mean?" Michael asked his younger brother while the Devil sighed and ran a hand through his hair, Nick's hair.

 

"You could say that in the last lifetime, Purgatory was open and the Leviathans decided to eat everything but that wasn't just the problem, Amara decided to say hello to us." Lucifer's eyes flashed red and his lips thinned while Michael remained impassive, his eyes had a brief gold while Raphael hissed. "Amara? How could that be possible when she was sealed off by Father himself?" Michael asked keeping himself calm while Lucifer gritted his teeth. "Father used thousands of seals and Amara only need to break four, there were four obstacles in Amara's path, four pillars of power that seals off the gate and what happened when all four pillars fall?" Lucifer drawled and his brothers stilled.

 

"Father made us the pillars?" Raphael asked a bit of awe and fear. "Why do you think we're powerful? Well, not as powerful as Father but still..." Lucifer pointed out while Michael pinched the bridge of his nose. "What happened after Amara made her appearance, brother?" Lucifer felt solemn and sighed. "Amara and the Leviathans teamed up, Amara spread the corruption which made every human, angel, and demon fall under her power then right in front of Father, she killed the angels guarding the souls and laid siege through Heaven... We didn't stand a chance, Sam and Dean soon found a way to kill the Leviathans but half of the population was already infected, Hunters and the rest of the remaining governments baned together as well as the remaining Angels and Demons who decided to kill her. It was a bloodbath, those two mud-monkeys with Castiel fought through them." Lucifer's voice sounded awed even when he hates humanity, these two Winchesters decided to wreck his opinions.

 

Michael and Raphael didn't say anything and let Lucifer continue on. "The last thing I remember was when Gabriel and I accompanied them through the place where they found the thing that could kill Amara but it had consequences, Dean took the Mark of Cain, he used the power of the Mark to weaken Amara but that wasn't enough to kill her and we had to retreat... The Leviathans had developed Angel Killing bullets and started shooting at us, Sam tackled both Gabriel and me to the ground when we didn't notice the reinforcements... It would be noticeable if all four of us escaped, Dean was out cold because Gabriel knocked him out. We had a handicap so we forced Sam to go on without us, they were needed." Lucifer said and closed his eyes leaning back against the cold stone wall.

 

 

_"Sam, get out of here!" Bullets ricochet of the walls and the taunts of their enemies grew louder. "Are you guys crazy?!" He shouted as he huffed and carried his brother in a fireman's carry that made the Hunter grit his teeth in pain. "We don't have a choice, Moose, it's either two of us or all of us?" Gabriel snapped his hair was all over his face accompanied with blood and sweat. "Gabe, Lucifer... We can't win this without you." Sam begged but as they ran into a dead end, the two archangels looked at each other and turned back at the Hunter with bitter smiles._

 

_"Take your brother and go, Sam. This is a better fate than being stuck in the Cage." Lucifer said while Gabriel glanced at his brother briefly then turned back at the Hunter. "Go back so you can tell our epic tale, Moose..." And he did while Lucifer and Gabriel fought side by side, buying them enough time..._

 

_It was Gabriel who died first and Lucifer saw red but even he failed to get out alive._

 

 

 

Lucifer rubbed his chest where he felt the phantom stab. "I'm not going to let that happen again." There was so much pain in his eyes that Michael and Raphael wanted nothing more than let themselves comfort their brother, wrapped their wings around him because, despite his mistakes, he was still their brother. "It will not, Gabriel is with Sam and he has been helping her heal while Raphael and I are helping Castiel with his memories, Lucifer, we will not let it get to the point that Heaven and Hell are destroyed, Purgatory has no reason to be opened," Micheal said with finality while Raphael nodded.

 

"Let's get out of here before any demons show up," Raphael said warily as he looked at the door while Lucifer shook his head. "I can't leave, Father said that it has to be Sam who frees me like the last time except for this time instead of Lilith's blood, it's supposed to be Sam's, freely given." Michael had a thoughtful look while Raphael looked a bit alarmed. "No, Michael, if you're thinking about kidnapping Sam Winchester then forget it, your driving is bad enough, I don't want to be included in any of your convoluted plans," Raphael said with finality seeing how Michael was prepared to argue.

 

"My driving wasn't that bad, you exaggerate, it's not likely we'll die from it." He said while Lucifer watched with wrapped fascination as his brothers argued, he wasn't going to admit it but he missed this because the Cage deprived him of any contact, it tortured and twisted him, days became longer when he raged and blamed his brother and humanity, other days it was nostalgic... Like this, he missed this. "Then we'll just summon Gabriel, he already has his memories," Raphael suggested because it sounded logical.

 

Gabriel was close to the Huntress and he could convince her rather than kidnap her. 

 

 

Michael huffed. "Alright."

 

 

They could've left after they got what they came for but Lucifer was glad that Michael and Raphael sat on one of the empty pews, they chatted like it was normal and he was glad to talk to someone other than himself, a banter, a chatter... Other noises besides what the Cage made up, the other two Archangels noticed the lack of participation but they didn't question it because they knew the Cage had an effect of Lucifer, a deep emotional and mental scar that can be healed slowly as long as they treated it rightly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **Ferrari La Ferrari Aperta 2017**
> 
>  

 

 

"Since when did you drive?" Lucifer asked Michael. "Just now, it's a 1961 Jaguar XKE Roadster." Lucifer whistled in appreciation while Raphael groaned internally as his two older brothers lapsed into a talk about cars but rather than retreating, he just joined it. "Your choices are exemplary in style but in speed, it lacks that's why the Ferrari La Ferrari Aperta 2017 is both." Lucifer snorted while Michael raised a brow in confusion. "It's the Batmobile only simplified, little brother," Lucifer said while he snapped his fingers and showed Michael the picture. "It also hasn't been invented yet," Michael added while Raphael smirked.

 

"Since when did we care about that?" 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 Bad things happen to her when she's alone.

 

 

 

Sam already knows that's she basically Monster Catnip even when she's not a virgin anymore, she shook whatever nonsense thought at the back of her mind as she remembered the next case since it deals with blondes and America's First Serial Killer as well as Jo's teenage rebellious stage where she wants to go out hunting even when she's still in college. It troubles her that Jo was increasingly begging her to take her out to hunts, the blonde girl wanted to hunt because she felt she didn't feel that she fits right in with the rest of peers who go on about their days thinking monsters weren't real. 

 

Sam knew the feeling all too well, those years of bullying from her peers as she grew up tall and petite wearing nothing but faded jeans and plaid shirts from thrift shops. 

 

If anyone could relate to the outsider feeling, it was Sam and Jo was grateful for that because it wasn't like she could talk to her mom about this but if there's one thing Sam didn't like about this was that Jo was too dependent on her, the young girl is already considered a young woman but for Sam, that wasn't the case because she died young... Jo died young and even if someone else was going to pay for it, she would do anything to keep Jo and Ellen safe because of the developing relationship between Ellen and Bobby.

 

They deserved to be happy.

 

 

A lost chance of happiness.

 

 

 

 

"Penny for your thoughts, Sammy-girl?" Sam looked up and pursed her lips. "Hello, Meg." She greeted cordially while the blonde demoness looked all too serious not the look she'd expect from the mischievous sadistic demon. "Heard you made a deal with Yellow-Fucker, what's that about?" Sam felt her veins grew colder and Meg smiled coldly. "Only high-level ones in the management knew, imagine my surprise when I heard that you, the smart one of the Winchesters, was willing to give yourself up for the safety of Daddy and Brother dearest, what happened to our agreement, Sammy?" She asked all too sweetly while Sam felt a headache form.

 

"That fucker... Listen, Meg... I have a plan." The huntress said to appease the pissed off demoness. "And how are you going to outsmart one of the Princes of Hell that holds a considerable amount of power?" Meg asked sounding doubtful, severely uncertain about the Huntress while Sam smiled coldly which sent alarm bells in the Hellhound Mistress. "I know that he was going to find a loophole to tell you guys and knowing some of you, you tend to be chatty Katy's... And I can't just summon you without alerting the people around me, Meg." She pointed out and started to walk signaling the blonde demon to follow her and away from Dean.

 

"You expected this to happen then?" Meg asked while the Huntress scowled. "As if that bastard would keep his mouth shut, one of the possibilities is that I calculated was that he can tell any of the demons, demons spread it as long as it doesn't reach the ears my family and the people close to me, it doesn't matter if other Hunters would know because I don't know them." She explained while Meg hummed. "You know that it's going to blow in your face, right?" The Huntress shrugged and brought out her cigarette pack from her pocket and offered some to the blonde demon.

 

"I'll deal with it when it comes but for now, I need you to a message to these people." She handed a paper to Meg while the demon read and saw names written on it with an enclosed letter. "I'm not your mailman, the nearest P.O is down the corner." Sam ignored the snarked. "Those are the names of the Special Children, I managed to find others, older ones but they aren't trusting of me yet considering my status as Lucifer's True Vessel, I have flags and alarmed raised. I need to get to them first before him, Meg. It is crucial, he infected thousands of us." Sam said and lighted her cigarette and lighted Meg's as a sign of good will.

 

The Hellhound Mistress let her continue. "You mentioned that I have a lot of supporters from downstairs yet they aren't too keen to openly following me yet due to Azazel, thinking I could just be his pawn but I beg to differ, let Azazel think I fell into his hand, let him think I am doing this willingly and while he has attention on me... He won't have too many eyes back on Earth where the others roam free." She drawled while the wheels in Meg's head turned and raised her brow then both her eyes widened as she got into the endpoint.

 

"You want the old fucker to think that he has everything down, an army and the Vessel played into his hand but the last thing he expects is that you have movements in the dark, using his creations and his enemies against him, Wow! What makes you think that he won't fall for the oldest trick in the book? You sure have thought of it but how are you going to make sure that there won't be any issues?" Meg asked curiously, she felt her vessel's blood thrum in excitement, she could feel the bloodbath almost taste it.

 

"I have you for that, you're one of the Higher-Ups they expect to move about to... _prepare_ things and I'm sure others would most likely want to see him fall and be humiliated, death is too good for him. Let him lose it all." Sam said with conviction that the fire in her eyes drew Meg to follow and to please her because there's something about Sam Winchester that makes you want to follow her, whether it's the charisma that rivals Lucifer himself or the burning passion.

 

 

"Don't be so surprised when you have unexpected visitors, Boss Lady."

 

 

The nickname surprised her but she merely smiled.

 

 

"Bring it on."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

What is it about Sam Winchester that draws you to follow her? Protect her? Please her?

 

 

That's what Meg thought about the brunette beside, taller than the average female and average male, she projects the air of gentle awkward giant and at times, she was nerdy or geeky that she was just ordinary and she didn't exemplify the air of leadership that Lucifer had but she was wrong because some things are hidden beneath the surface. The Huntress beside her is every bit of Lucifer, she is strong as he, bright as he and for thousands of years burying the feeling of hope for demon kind, there was she who lead them,

 

It may be ridiculous but you wouldn't know the feeling unless you're experiencing it.

 

 

"What happens to me when I get dragged downstairs, Meg?" The blonde demon stilled because she remembered when she was dragged down to Hell, excruciating pain and immense torture was the cycle, Hell broke you and twisted you into something you're not but then again, it was Hell... And the only reason you were there was that you deserve it and what she has done as a human turned her into a demon. "Torture, Sam, they're going to break you to pieces that you're going to forget about being human." She answered surprisingly calm while the woman beside sighed. "Am I expecting a full Hell Raisers treatment?" While Meg snorted a bit and a bit of chuckle. 

 

 

"Yeah, Boss but don't expect anyone wearing any leather or chains."

 

 

They stayed in a relatively comforting silence, sharing a cigarette break. "Why are you even tolerating a demon, Sammy?" Meg didn't hesitate to ask while the woman glanced at her and back at the night sky, she was at ease. "Because... Sometimes demons are more humane than actual humans themselves even other creatures act more sympathetic or empathic than humans. Maybe that's why I tolerate demons? The product of human negativity with no light to guide them back they fell into a hole so big that they can't get out because they can't go back now." Sam said and it felt as if the Huntress experienced the pain of losing herself, the way she was trying to hold herself and try to stand tall and mask it but Meg already mastered the art of trying to look like it's good but in fact everything was shitty.

 

She didn't question it. "... I had a dream or was it a vision?..." Sam started and dropped the end of her cigarette then stepped on it and proceeded to take another one out while Meg raised a brow. "First of all, that's going to kill and second, I thought you had the demon blood cleared from you?" She inquired while Sam shrugged. "I have the remaining months of this year and another year left so instead of waiting for uncertainty to kill her, it'll be hellhounds and yes, no demon blood in me but I've always been ... psychic." Sam hesitated to say and Meg could grow curious. "Psychic as in precognition?" She asked while Sam tilted her head to the side and began making small rocks float around Meg.

 

The demoness was impressed. "The demon blood kickstarted the psychic abilities and upgraded them so I'm not only seeing glimpses of the future and I also have telekinetic abilities but as told by Loki, I could also exorcise low-level demons but anything higher would give me a migraine so I would just throw them in a Devil's Trap. There is also the possibility of elemental manipulation but I haven't tested it yet." Meg whistled out of impressiveness. "Powerpack, much? If you're anything like Lucifer then your affinity will be Fire, Lightning or Ice." She stated while the Huntress shrugged.

 

"We'll see..." The Huntress said and sighed. "If I don't control these abilities then I'll get consumed by it, Meg. This dream vision showed me how I would kill everyone around me and there's not a day that passes that I don't worry about the people around me, I'm a monster that needs to be leashed because if I'm not tied down to something ...someone, I'm gonna end up killing the people around me." The moose of a Hunter rambled as she ran a hand through her hair while Meg watched her unravel into a worrywart.

 

"You've sacrificed a lot already, Sammy-girl and you're still worried about everyone's well-being, you try not to make those people worry but you act like you're a ticking time bomb, ready to detonate. How can they not worry when you throw yourself in the line of fire?" Meg said while Sam had a sharp intake of breath. "If you'd only seen what I saw, Meg..." She replied ominously and took a long puff as they lapsed into a tense silence.

 

 

Meg should find some sort of sadistic glee seeing how uncertain and vulnerable the woman beside but she didn't because even if she's a demon now... She was still human before and she couldn't say she can relate to what the younger Winchester was going through but the common ground they have is the pain and pressure bestowed upon them by society.

 

 

"You're only human, Sam." She said while the Huntress felt her shoulders sagged.

 

 

 

"Sometimes... I don't even feel what's it like to be human."

 

 

This was the curious case of Sam Winchester, she was hard as steel and tough as nails for the people she loves even if it meant sacrificing her soul for their protection but in the inside, it was a completely different story, layers upon layers of insecurity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 Defiance.

 

 

Jo and Ellen had their argument about hunting but instead of staying out of the matter even when Dean was shooting her the look. "Ellen, I'll look after her," Sam said that shut both the Harvelle women up. "Sam-" "Ellen, I don't want you two to end things off sourly because in today's time when you don't have friends it's family who has your back. You can't stop Jo because if she's anything like her Pops then she'd have his stubbornness added with yours." Sam tried to ease the matriarch of the Harvelle family, Ellen ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

 

"I don't want to lose my daughter, Sam. I already lost a husband, I don't think I could lose my baby girl." Ellen said while Sam patted Ellen's shoulder. "I would've liked if she stayed in school instead of the hunting life, I mean, you finished yours..." Jo felt a brief stab of hurt because she knew how unconsciously her Mom compares her to Sam, the blonde woman was envious of Sam because who wouldn't be? She's smart, beautiful and in the eyes of her family, she could do no wrong.  _'Bet you wish you had her life, no? The Dad and the brother with the complete package of beauty, brain and brawns?'_ Her mind said tauntingly while Jo clenched her hands.

 

She thought of Sam as her older sister, she there to guide her and gave her the advice that she needed, reigned her in when she was going too far but there are times where she'd wished she had Sam's life because it seemed so much better than hers.

 

"Ellen, I may have finished mine but I still came back to this life, once you start you can try and try to stop or get away but this life will keep coming back, you can't always protect Jo because these things will come after the people you love and what happens when you're not there to protect them?" She hated that, every Hunter knows the feeling of helplessness and moments of weakness, the numbing coldness, grievance and the cycle that spirals down the pit but what's worse of it all is that when you can kill the thing and it escapes only to come back and succeeding in what you've failed to do only this time, it didn't come for you but for your loved ones.

 

"Give her a chance, Ellen," Dean spoke for the first time and eyed the Harvelle matriarch while Sam nodded. 

 

 

 

 

"If anything happens to my little girl, I am going to drag you two to hell."

 

 

 

 

 

 

>  
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

Giddiness.

 

Jo Harvelle was ecstatic for her first hunt, well, her first permitted with no sneaking around her Mom. "What's the M.O for this one, Blondie?" Dean asked as they stopped by the gas station near Philidelphia. "Over the past 80 years, six women have disappeared from the same building, all young blondes. The murders only occurred once every decade or two so the cops never eyeballed the pattern." She said while Dean was impressed, Sam didn't want to comment on it or steal the spotlight which was Jo's case.

 

"Blondes, huh?" Dean looked at Jo and scowled. "No, you are not going to be bait and don't argue with me on this one, Blondie." Then as an act of teenage rebellion that speaks I'm old enough and yadda yadda. "You're not my Dad, Winchester, I can take care of myself." She argued back while Sam wanted a smoke for heaven's sake. "I may not be your Dad but at least I'm keeping the promise to your Mom about keeping you safe." Jo scoffed. "She should stop worrying too much, I can take of myself." She said almost brattily that Sam felt a headache form.

 

_'Honestly, they fight like those cliche brothers and sisters on reality TV.'_ Sam thought morosely. "Jo, at least you have a Mom to worry about you, not everyone is fortunate enough to have a Mom like yours," Sam said evenly and eyed the two arguing Hunters who shut their respective mouth seeing the signature glare of the normally docile Huntress, it made them feel like children. "Sam, you know how much I wanted this..." Jo said while Sam huffed a bit. "I know you do but let's not forget what Gordon did to you before and unlike that sorry excuse of a human being, Dean and I won't take any chances because we promised Ellen, you can help by interviewing and fieldwork but leave the bait job to me." Over Jo's head, Dean was giving her _we'll talk later_ look while Jo sighed. "Seriously, baby steps?" She asked while Sam made a clicking her noise with her tongue.

 

"It's that or we can drop you off with our third member who can guard you for the duration of this case." Dean snorted while Jo looked appalled at the thought of missing the case and with a few stubborn seconds of silence, she yielded knowing the brunette long enough is that Sam really does go through with her threats. "But how can you be bait when you're not a blonde, Sam?" Jo asked while the brunette sighed.

 

"Let me handle that."

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> **Blonde Sam & Her Outfit for the Chapter **
> 
>  

 

 

Praying to be Blonde.

 

She was starting to question her sanity at the thought because she was sure as hell that God would have raised both his eyebrows at how ridiculous this prayer is but he's God and there must be some weirder and more ridiculous prayers than hers but what's even weirder than a ridiculous prayer was when it was being granted so here she was in the safe house while Dean was with Jo keeping her distracted while she was in the bathroom, praying to be blonde.

 

And when she exited the bathroom and turning to the full body mirror.

 

She started to wonder when she became like one of those women who loved to look fashionable yet convenient so when she walked out of her room, she was surprised that there seem to be noises in the living room because the last time she checked, Gabriel was off doing some intel work and if this was him with a guest. "Why can't we go to those Hardy Boys now? It seems very sketchy with all of the things going around?" That voice really sounded familiar and Sam pursed her lips as she leaned on the doorway seeing what her suspicion confirmed.

 

 

Balthazar.

 

 

She hasn't seen the eccentric angel since Cas went on that drunken power hype that frankly, scared her. "Why hello there, Darling? I didn't expect you to have such a fine guest, Gabriel." The look on Gabriel's face when he saw her was satisfying. "Why and when did you have a dye job, Babydoll?" He asked and eyed her from top to bottom with appreciation. "I'm currently on a hunt and I'm playing bait." Gabriel didn't like that and what's worse was that Balthazar was clueless.

 

"You're dating a Hunter after everything?" Balthazar asked the archangel in an incredulous tone that made the Huntress a bit spiffy but that did not change the neutral expression on her face. "Yes, Balthazar, after everything but hey, I got good taste in picking them and the Moose turned out exceptionally good in bed, right Samshine?" It was utterly satisfying seeing the shock on the jerk's face. 

 

"Sam? Sam Winchester as in the six foot four moose with feminine hair?" He asked while Sam walked towards Gabriel and bowed to Balthazar in the familiar trickster fashion that made Gabriel wiped the fake tear from his eyes. "I have taught you well, young Skywalker." She chuckled and looked at the still shocked angel with her own saccharine smile. "Yes, Balthazar, I was that six foot four moose in the past but God decided in this new life I was to had a sex change." She said while Balthazar collected his thoughts and looked like he was having a hard time to figure it out.

 

"Can't you help him by giving him some of your memories?" She asked while Gabriel shrugged. "Some of those memories are interlaced with very _personal_ feelings," Gabriel said while the blonde angel rolled his eyes. "As smashing as this is, God of all people decided to pop in and say hi to me then basically dropped me off. Alive and healthy in a new life, I was just going to ignore everything but then Michael and Raphael of all beings tracked me down in France then I had to run off." Gabriel and Sam looked at each other worriedly.

 

"So not only Heaven is panicking with their powerhouses down on Earth, Cassie is off eating bacon cheeseburger somewhere and I'm getting hunted down by them," Balthazar said while Sam raised a brow. "You didn't know who Gabriel was before, Balthazar, how on Earth do you know who he is now?" The angel rolled his eyes. "God told me, Darling and he told me _every_ single thing." That made Sam worried then the sharp look he gave her was her doom, shit.

 

 

"Well that saves us the time but why is Mikey and Ralphie after you?" Besides the fact that he turned Raphael's male vessel into salt and he basically relocated every powerful weapon. "To be honest, Gaby, I didn't stick around to find out," Balthazar said while Sam ran a hand through her bro-blonde hair. "Shit, shit, and shit." She said while Gabriel snapped his fingers and three bottles of beer appeared wherein they drank it without question then Sam's phone rang.

 

"Sam here... You have to be kidding me, just stay put and I'll be there in a minute." She ended the call and frowned. "I have to play bait now." She said while Gabriel shared her displeasure. "Can't anyone else play bait?" She shook her head. "We promised Ellen that Jo is going to be safe, she could do fieldwork and stuff but play bait is not an option especially if the spook is America's First Serial Killer." Gabriel had the twitchy look while Balthazar raised a brow. "We get the bait part, Darling but why be blonde, not that it doesn't suit you but why?" Balthazar asked curiously.

 

"Because he prefers blondes over brunettes." She said while the two angels ah'ed. "I gotta go, see you soon." She leaned down and kissed Gabriel giving Balthazar quite a show then walked away with a smile. "Nice catch, Gaby." He said while the Archangel hummed. "Eyes off her ass, that's mine." He said while Balthazar put his hands up in surrender. "Can't an angel appreciate the view?" Gabriel raised a brow at his brother while the angel shrugged. 

 

"Maybe, brother..."

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

Bait.

 

She really hates being bait because the majority of her old and new life revolved around her being bait whether it was intentional or unintentional which frankly, made her tired of being a human monster catnip but no one does it better than her. When she got back, needless to say, the two arguing blondes shut up and started to jab at her. "You look hot," Jo said bashfully while Sam ignored the heat creeping up in her cheeks. "Blonde works well for you, Sammy," Dean added and the two grinned seeing the blush appear on the former brunette's face.

 

 

 

 

She didn't do well with compliments because she wasn't used to it. "Alright, alright, enough you two. Let's go on with the hunt." And that they did, once they got into the building Sam had a very eerie feeling even Dean felt it. "This is one powerful spook." She whispered while Dean grunted. "Casper went the wrong path and did steroids." He said while Jo sniffed the air. "Do you guys smell that?" The Winchesters sniffed and they grew worried. "It smells like... some sort-" "Chloroform..." Sam said quietly as she heard footsteps and turns out the landlord rounded up the corner greeting them with a smile.

 

 

 

"You must be the Wessons, my name is Ryan." The landlord said as he shook Sam and Dean's hand. "Is this your daughter? She's very beautiful like her mother." That was very awkward and Jo wrapped her arm around Sam's waist and smiled. "Mom and Dad wanted to check out the apartment I told them about since I wanted to move out and get ready for college." She replied while the two older hunters just smiled and nodded.

 

"We just wanted to see if it's safe and affordable for our daughter, she's in her _I'm Responsible Enough_ streak which is giving both my husband and myself grey hair." Sam joked while the landlord laughed with her and Dean had a twitchy smile. "Yeah well, if I had it my way then she'd be staying at home with her home, so they can be safe together." The obvious jab at Jo's situation made Sam elbowed her husband. "Now Dean, we talked about this, we're giving Jo a chance to prove her independence and responsibility on how she can handle herself." The landlord sensed the uneasiness and lead them to the apartment. "If you're ready to talk about the payments, I'll be downstairs in my office." He said and quickly left the family to have their talk.

 

 

Once the door was shut, the three blonde hunters sighed. "Seriously, man? Why the hell are we always getting lumped together." Sam shrugged off her jacket. "To be honest, I don't know." Jo wanted to say that it's because how the landlord was leering at Sam and being the naive woman she is, well at times, Sam ignored him but Dean noticed it and even when Sam was a woman, that didn't stop Dean from being protective of Sam. "Alright then, I'll get the grub and question the locals, you and Jo can get started on the research," Dean said while Sam raised her brow. "How about, you get the grub while Jo asks around and I'll search this place?" The older Winchester shrugged.

 

"Come on, kid."

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

Sam shouldn't have tempted fate by being alone.

 

 

She felt like Danny Phantom by now only less ghost and more X-men power supernatural mixed, the temperature dropped into an almost arctic cold that made her more alert so she took out a can of salt and started to pour a circle around her, the walls started to leak ectoplasm, lights flickering.

 

"Shit..."

 

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

The place was a wreck.

 

"There's salt around, Sam probably made a salt circle but that doesn't make sense, the circle is intact but where is she?" Jo said while Dean was busy flipping the place. "Damn it, Sam, Sammy?" The two heard a thump coming from the bathroom and the two crept up to the bathroom, Dean took the lead and opened the door with his gun pointed and halted seeing Sam in the bathtub surrounded by salt and iron. "Dean?" He helped her up and lead her back into the living room where Jo had a first aid kit in her hand. "What happened, Sam? We were just gone for thirty minutes." Jo asked while the Huntress sighed.

 

"It was a powerful spook, very powerful that a mere salt circle didn't stand a chance. He was throwing things at me, throwing me out of balance so I bolted to the bathroom where I covered the floor in salt and iron, he was pissed as hell." She said and turned her head to the side where she heard a bone pop into place. "Did you guys find anything about the place?" She asked while Jo brought out the papers she had with her. "Another girl disappeared last night, Teressa Ellis in apartment 2F, cracks in the walls and ceilings, ectoplasm and the place screams creepy." While Dean said he asked the locals and they said the place used to be a prison.

 

"What did you find out before the spook tried to take you?" Sam brought out her laptop and sighed. "This place used to be the Moyamensing Prison, built in 1835 and torn down in 1963. They executed people by hanging them in the empty field next door. I contacted Ash to give me the names of the people executed, I was about to look at the names before the spook decided to say hello." She clicked open the email and they browsed through the names. "Hold on, Sam... Go back, yeah..." Jo was on track but she seemed to have a hard time to figure it out.

 

 

 

> **Herman Webster Mudgett**

 

"Shit." Sam cursed while the other looked at her curiously. "Herman Webster Mudgett also was known as H.H Holmes," Sam said while Jo had a lightbulb moment and asked Sam to click the information. "He executed at the prison on _May 7th, 1896_. The term multi-murder was used to describe him, he was America's first serial killer before anyone knew what a serial killer was. He confessed to 27 murders, but some put the death toll at over 100. His victim flavor of choice was blonde women and he used chloroform to kill them." Jo read while the three of them were silent. "Well shit, how do we deal with him? Where's his body?" Dean asked while Sam clicked her tongue. "No use, Dean. Holmes asked his body to be cremated and his ashes are buried under 10ft of solid concrete. We have to find the girl he took before he kills her." Sam said while the other two clicked their tongues.

 

"There's a sewer system connected to the building." They wasted no time.

 

 

 

> * * *
> 
>  

 

 

 

"So, still want to hunt?" Sam asked the younger woman who was twirling her beer bottle. "... Yeah, it reminds me of my Dad before he..." It wasn't a secret that John killed Bill but not out of cold blood but by mercy killing, Bill was possessed by a demon and that saved the Harvelle women's conscious that Bill died a human and a better place by now, the sting of losing Bill to the hands of John Winchester was aching but John apologized countlessly and Ellen knew that the man was sincere but Jo wasn't so forgiving.

 

It took a while before she even talked to Sam.

 

But in the end, Jo managed to forgive John because if he didn't kill her Father and brought back his body then the demon would've ended up dragging her Father's soul to Hell and his body would've been committing God knows what crimes. "If I said yes, I don't know whether my mom will let me hunt alone." She said while Sam ruffled Jo's hair. "Ellen has every right to worry, she's your mother and you are her daughter, like how my Dad and brother would do anything to keep me safe and every step I take makes them worry." She said ruefully and Jo put her head on Sam's shoulder. "You seem to have it all Sam, you having a Dad and a brother that would literally die for you, you're beautiful and you're smart. Any girl would kill to have it all." Sam gave Jo a side hug and sighed.

 

"Jo, I want you to know something very important, it's a lesson that will follow you everywhere you go." The Huntress said while the young blonde woman nodded. "In the life, we live in, we protect our own and we guard our secrets religiously from our enemies, and we pass on our knowledge to the next generation so they can continue on the legacy and pass it on." Sam felt her emotions stir from within, the pain and hurt from the past life because she never took this lesson seriously.

 

"Hunters live fast and die young, our paths crossed with the road. We put our lives on the line with every case and it goes without said gratitude at times. Sometimes in the brevity of it all, we made bonds through all the shit." They both chuckled at that. "It doesn't matter if we're connected by blood but what matters is the bond, through all the shit, if the bond is weak then blood is just another way of chaining you down but if it's like ours, our bond is thicker and stronger than any blood. Family protects you, they will go through whatever hell presents itself for you, they will forgive even when you commit the same mistakes because they know you enough that whatever thing you do is predictable for them but most importantly... The kind of family that we have will always love you, good and bad, they will love you either way because they can't cut one piece out and live with a half-functioning person." Sam took a breather while Jo came to hug her back.

 

"The world may be against you, the people who you saved before and befriended have turned their backs on you but family, they will always be there for you, for better or worse because for them it doesn't matter what you are but what've you've done and if you did a piss poor job, they're there with you to fix it even if the road is bumpy." She ended while the young Hunter full out hugged the older Huntress. 

 

Jo knows that in life, there are rocks and there are jewels and it's very hard to find authentic jewels when others try so hard to pretend to be like one. "I get it Sam..." She said while the former brunette chuckled. "I know you do." They finished their beers in silence while Dean hit the pause in the record button, it may have been wrong to eavesdrop on them but when Sam tilted her head back and met his gaze, he knew that they were going to get a talk later on but it's alright.

 

He was proud of Sammy, she could've left any time and go back to Stanford and get her degrees but she chose to stay.

 

He looked down at his cell and hit sent, he was sure that Dad was going to feel happy when he hears this and sure enough when John who was with Bobby and Ellen heard it, they looked at John who was trying his hardest not to cry because who wouldn't? If their child would sacrifice their own future at a good college to find their wayward Father and would rather choose that than a white collared job with a two-story house and a picket fence. He was relieved, proud and a little meloncholic because if only Mary could see their little girl.

 

"Thank God you got your act together because if you didn't..."

 

 

 

"I know, Bobby."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
